Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 2 of 2 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My husband and I have married for +6 years. We have 2 children and have always had a very active sex life. Well, lately we have haven't been having sex very often. We have gone from 3-5 times a week(with him initiating) to 1 maybe 2 time every 2 weeks with me begging for it. Our sons are 6 years and 10 month. Our youngest is adopted and I have gained more weight with him than I ever did being pregnant. I have been diagnosed with Adrenal Exhaustion, and it is no fun. The stress of the adoption caused me to gain 30 pounds!!! I am not proud of this, in fact I find it disgusting! Which is why I'm not surprised that my husband also finds me disgusting. I have tried very hard to initiate sex with him, but he often turns me down. I know it is because I'm fat! I'm fat for me but I'm not even that fat...I'm a size 10 now. I feel like he isn't interested at all. I had to courage to bring it up to him tonight and he just threw it back on me...it's all his fault, I have such a hard life and such a mean husband! Everything is his fault!!

He asked me specifically what he could do for me and I told him I just wanted to feel wanted, and he said it wasn't his fault my self image was so screwed up. I'm sorry but I feel like my self image is directly related to how he sees me...he doesn't get it and is playing the martyr card. I don't know what to do. I told him I just want to feel wanted and sexy and maybe all I need is for him to "play along" and he told me he won't lie to me...now I feel like a fool for even bringing it up. What do I do from here???
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,361 Posts
LOL... You took, "Honey, does this make me look fat?" to a whole new level with your husband. I'm not surprised he got defensive and played the martyr card. He heard your REAL message loud and clear, "It's your fault I don't feel attractive."

He might have had a different response if you'd said, "I think I look okay with this extra weight, but I'm planning to start working out soon. What do you think?" If you feel sexy, it shows, and I'm guessing THAT is what your husband's trying to say when he tells you your self-image isn't dependent on him. At size 10, a fun, flirty gal will do just fine with seducing a man who cares about her.

You didn't mention your age, but if you're in your mid-30s or above, you might also check with your doc about pre-menopause.

Finally, are you certain the added stresses you mentioned haven't sent your husband looking elsewhere for attention, too?
 
1 - 2 of 2 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top