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129 Posts
I'm new here, but desperately need some support and advice. I have been married for two and a half years, and August 25th marked the fourth separation - all of which have been initiated by my husband. You see, he just isn't real sure he wants to be married. (Sad face for him, right? Blah!)
Here's the problem.
I love him, very much. I also believe that marriage is a covenant that shouldn't be forsaken, and I'm pretty dang God-fearing. However, I do not believe I am supposed to be disrespected and heartbroken time after time after time. My husband possesses a sickening infatuation with the greener yards, so to speak. He thinks there's always something better out there for him, and that our marriage is hindering his finding it. This last time he left, he immediately began a relationship with a frumpy little (I use the term "little" loosely) single mom that lives with her parents. Now, he claims (of course) that they're just friends; however, his actions prove otherwise. He spends all his free time, on the weekends, with her - at her parents'. So, I know he has some type of feelings for this...thing. By the way, he met her one week before leaving, while bowling with friends. With that being said, I'm just assuming he left me for her. Gross.
At first, I begged, pleaded, apologized, cried, screamed, and all those other things that pitiful, desperate women do when they're dumped. Everytime he would text or call, I'd asphyxiate on false hope and restart the grieving process all over again. Finally, last week, I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I promised myself I would end all communication with him, regardless of the circumstances. Well, obviously he made the same promise to himself, because neither of us have reached out to one another, at all, this week.
I am continuing to pray for my well being, and my husband, and my marriage. Afterall, that's what He says I should do.
When we were talking, or arguing, or whatever it was, he constantly reminded me that I had to wait a year before I could date anyone. He also hounded me about being so impatient and not holding out any hope for the reconciliation of our marriage. How contrasting are those words with his actions? The ole "I don't want you [this month], but no one else can have you, either". Precious. Why do I still love him so much? Am I that naive? Do I have that little self-respect? Why can't I just get over him? What woman, in their right mind, would want someone that disrespected them so badly? I suppose a lot of it has to do with my religious beliefs and not breaking my vows, but at what point is the "worse" just too much to bear?
PS - We have no children. I'm 31, he's 25 (I know, but that's water under the bridge). We both have good jobs and are financially stable.
Here's the problem.
I love him, very much. I also believe that marriage is a covenant that shouldn't be forsaken, and I'm pretty dang God-fearing. However, I do not believe I am supposed to be disrespected and heartbroken time after time after time. My husband possesses a sickening infatuation with the greener yards, so to speak. He thinks there's always something better out there for him, and that our marriage is hindering his finding it. This last time he left, he immediately began a relationship with a frumpy little (I use the term "little" loosely) single mom that lives with her parents. Now, he claims (of course) that they're just friends; however, his actions prove otherwise. He spends all his free time, on the weekends, with her - at her parents'. So, I know he has some type of feelings for this...thing. By the way, he met her one week before leaving, while bowling with friends. With that being said, I'm just assuming he left me for her. Gross.
At first, I begged, pleaded, apologized, cried, screamed, and all those other things that pitiful, desperate women do when they're dumped. Everytime he would text or call, I'd asphyxiate on false hope and restart the grieving process all over again. Finally, last week, I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I promised myself I would end all communication with him, regardless of the circumstances. Well, obviously he made the same promise to himself, because neither of us have reached out to one another, at all, this week.
I am continuing to pray for my well being, and my husband, and my marriage. Afterall, that's what He says I should do.
When we were talking, or arguing, or whatever it was, he constantly reminded me that I had to wait a year before I could date anyone. He also hounded me about being so impatient and not holding out any hope for the reconciliation of our marriage. How contrasting are those words with his actions? The ole "I don't want you [this month], but no one else can have you, either". Precious. Why do I still love him so much? Am I that naive? Do I have that little self-respect? Why can't I just get over him? What woman, in their right mind, would want someone that disrespected them so badly? I suppose a lot of it has to do with my religious beliefs and not breaking my vows, but at what point is the "worse" just too much to bear?
PS - We have no children. I'm 31, he's 25 (I know, but that's water under the bridge). We both have good jobs and are financially stable.