Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 37 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I think I might have you all beat with my story! I was with my ex for 7 years. We have a 3 year sold son, lived together, owned a business together, shared everything. Basically we were married without the paperwork. Granted our relationship, just like everyone else's had it's fair share of ups and downs. So about 3 months ago, I had told him I had enough. We were together for 7 years, and not once did he want to talk about marriage and commitment, he always said it was a stupid peice of paper. I made him leave 3 months ago because I knew he was not happy with me, or even with our life. He was always talking to ex's, even though I asked him to stop many times. He was always blowing me and our son off at the last minute. According to him, he checked out of the relationship 5 years ago. So guess what he did - one week later he found a GF who is 13 years younger. ( I am 36 and he is 37). He kept this from me until everyone started to find out on Facebook (the devil's website). Then after 6 weeks, they took off and eloped to Vegas! WOW!! I begged this man for 7 years to give me what he gave her in 6 weeks!!



I am devastated, but I wake every morning and take care of my son. I am in the process of dissolving the company that we have owned together for the last 6 years.


What I don't understand, how can you get married to someone, after 6 weeks, and he doesn't even have a job or place to live? She also lives 3 hours away, and they travel back and forth to see each other. He told me he won't move up to her because of our son. However, I think he should just disappear. He has even had then nerve to ask me to be his friend over and over again for the last 3 months. I really think he lost his mind. A friend wouldn't get married behind your back. A friend wouldn't treat you badly and then tell you that you are the worst GF in the world and that I ruined everything for thim.


Everyone told me he did it to spite me. I say he probably just found his match and she's just as crazy as he is.


I hope that one day I can get through this. I am so depressed, and after 3 months I still cry. How could he do this???
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,185 Posts
He can do it because he LACKS the level of emotional intelligence and maturity it requires to be a decent individual that gives a sh!t.

Count your blessings that you are free of this kind of scum.
Imagine the costs if you had found out what kind of dude he was after 20 years...
Dont give the thought, the time of day.
Be fREE!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yes, he does lack everything you need to be a decent human being. I knew that early on in the relationship, but I just took it as he likes to have fun and live in the moment. Impulsive is what he is.
It's amazing how everyone tells me that they are happy this happened now instead of 20 years from now, but you know what the crazy thing is, despite him and his behaviors, I did love him. How do I let that go?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
115 Posts
He doesn't sound like he's exercising good judgement here, he didn't necessarily go crazy. Whatever the motive, it's not a good move on his part on a number of levels, but the only one who can figure that out is himself. You keep living your life and expect nothing from him in return.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
9,914 Posts
Just imagine all the issues the chick he married must have to marry a man who lives far away, is older, etc.

I predict that not only is she a flaky piece of work but that this marriage will not last.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,943 Posts
My stbxh was engaged not even 3 months from when I moved out. 8 yr marriage, 10 yr relationship. I heard through the grapevine he is scheduled to be married sometime after Christmas...maybe around 3 weeks from when the divorce is final.

I should congratulate him on his upcoming 3rd divorce ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I guess it is a wake up call. I mean, he moved on so quickly like I never existed. Also, what about our son? He left him to, but swears he is the best father in the world and would do anything for him. I believe his actions just proved what kind of person and father he really is.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,943 Posts
I guess it is a wake up call. I mean, he moved on so quickly like I never existed. Also, what about our son? He left him to, but swears he is the best father in the world and would do anything for him. I believe his actions just proved what kind of person and father he really is.
Right....but don't think it has anything to do with you. It's all on him. Like you say, his actions say it all.

Just be the best mom you can be for your son. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thank you all for your kind words!!! Even though I am living in my own personal hell, I do have one person that puts a smile on my face 24/7 and that is my son. He is my world and everything I do now is for him. Everyday is a challenge, but I know time will heal my wounds. I still have to talk to him all the time, and not only for our son, but for dissolving the business. I also am living in his mom's 3 flat, and she lives upstairs. His mom and my mom are going on a cruise this weekend for 2 weeks. They became friends many years ago, through our relationship. So not only has he affect me and my son, but everyone around us. I hope they see and feel the same way my friends and family do, however I should not care. People can have their own opinions, just like my family/friends support me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
452 Posts
Ah, this post brings back memories! My ex moved in with the OM 3 months after the divorce and married 6 months later. I was replaced one month after the divorce and the two of them went on a "family" vacation with the kids, etc. F-ing joke. People like that aren't worth two squirts of pee in my book.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
63 Posts
Mine moved in with the OW the day he left ! And that was after 14 yrs of marriage. I know how you feel / just take one day @ a time. I'm only on my 4th month but slowly getting back to myself. I have good days and bad days.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,341 Posts
Got you beat office girl! Mine backed her bags, walked, yes walked, 5 blocks to the OM house and moved in. They were married 8 months later. She moved out July of last year. This was the end of our 30 year marriage. It is the POSOM's fifth marriage.....wonder how this is going to end?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
You are all so right. I have to vent, that is why I am here! ;-)
It's been 3 months since I kicked him out. I do feel better everyday, but this week is good only because he is on vacation so I have had no communication with him. I am dreading this weekend because I know he will be back and the **** Storm will be here again. I wish he would just disappear, move somewhere far, far away.
I guess I am so bitter because of what he did after the breakup. I thought I was giving him a wakeup call, that he would actually sit down, think and perhaps regroup. WRONG!! He did the exact opposite, something totally crazy in my eyes. I wish I had a circle of friends that could be next to me 24/7. I feel so alone most of the time, even when I am busy with life. He literally sucked my self-esteem and confidence out of me. I am sure he will do the same to her. I heard she is a pretty strong individual, that won't put up with anything. Well guess what, so was I! I had so many people tell me in the first few months of daing that they liked me a lot because I wouldn't put up with his ****. RED FLAG! I am sure he will do the same to her, over time. I was just stupid enough to last 7 years.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
It does help me to hear of all the other stories out there, and I feel that I am not alone. Ever since he met her, he has turned on me and blaimed me for everything that has gone on his life. He tells me that everything is my fault. The past 7 years were torture for him, he would rather put a bullet in his head then get back together with me, etc. Then went on to say that I am a horrible mother, that his new wife will be a better mom to our son, that my whole family is dusgusting, that everyone he knows wants to kill me, etc. etc. And through all this, I still cry, am depressed, think about him all the time. I guess my co-dependancy on him is still going strong. I can’t stop obsessing over some man who clearly does not care. He told me he check out 5 years ago and should have left a long time ago. Why do I still care? I feel rejected and hurt. I feel so bad for my son. I wanted the "family" so badly, that I lost who I was. Before I met him, I was completely independant, purchased my own condo, had money, had a fantastic job, tons of friends, freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted to. This is a great opportunity to start all over. I can work on me now. I can hopefully, eventually find someone who wants to spend the rest of our lives together, with no drama. Just friendship, loyalty, love, emotion, etc. I just want the fundamentals in my next relationship.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
63 Posts
I am so not ready for another relationship at all. Maybe it's my age but just don't want to do the whole dating scene at all. I'm kinda enjoying being by myself with no one to worry bout any more! My kids r grown and doing great and I am so glad I don't have to pull up in my driveway wondering where he is and when he's coming home after a long day of work ! I'm also enjoying all that extra closet space I have :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,871 Posts
I picked up my son from my exes the other day and saw her bf's car (not one of the guys she was cheating with) in the driveway with the day before's snow on it, so I know he was overnight when my son was there. He was there at the time I think but hid out in the other room while I was there. My ex's room mate moved out a couple months ago and I have a nagging fear he may be moving in. there is not much I can do because even though we said no overnights in our agreement we had an exception for "serious" relationships, and I think it's been almost a year since they started. Ugh.
 
1 - 20 of 37 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top