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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Me and my wife have only been married a little over a year now. We had our first child 9 months ago. She recently started acting strange and when I tried to address it she denied anything being wrong. Then a few weeks ago i found messages on her phone between her and another guy. As I confronted her about this she told me she hasn't been happy since the birth of our son. She says i drove very far away. Her reasoning was because I would not shower every single day. I never went more than 3 days without a shower even though she thinks I went weeks without. I just didn't see it necessary seeing as all i would do was work and come home to do more work. As our fighting continued over the last few weeks she continued talking to this guy. I finally found that she has kissed him several times even she swore to me she hadnt. Our most recent altercation was the breaking point for both of us. She says she wants us back to the way we were just as I do. But she says she doesnt know how it will happen. She says she isnt attracted to me at all anymore. What do I do now? I started showering at least once a day and dressing as nice as possible all the time. Does anyone have advice for me please.
 

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The showering thing would turn me right off. I am not in any place to give advice but I can tell you that much.
 

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Hold on, im going to get some popcorn. this is gonna be good, i expect some entertaining replys.

in the mean time i suggest you jump in the shower and clean yourself up!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I'm sorry if this offends anyone but I posted on here looking for advice not more lectures. I know what I've done wrong and I've changed that. Now I'd like some advice on how to save my marriage please.
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I just didn't see it necessary seeing as all i would do was work and come home to do more work.
Why do you work and come home and do more work? Can you find some time for fun in your schedule? Since you have addressed the issue of looking good...put it to good use and go on some dates, have some fun together....

Do you feel as though you are both in a rut with work, kids, etc.? If so, introducing some down-time might help.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I try to have fun but its also hard to be in a good mood. And she's constantly talking on the phone. I try to set up a date night but she always has something going on either for her or us.
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Is she still talking to the other guy? She is attracted to him and will not find her way back to you until first, he is out of the picture completely and second, you two begin to reconnect emotionally.

Do not settle for 'we are just friends'...she is/was getting something from him that she is not getting from you and that needs to end completely or she will not be able to re-commit to you.
 

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The FIRST thing you have to do is make sure they are no longer in contact. Is she giving you access to her phone at all times? Does she give you the passwords to her phone and computer? If not, she is still seeing him.

You can't fix your marriage while he's still in the picture. Don't waste your time until you are sure.
 

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Crusty stuff on the twig and berries is pretty nasty. Clean up and treat her like you did earilier in your relationship and she'll come around.
 

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chances are she is not in love with you anymore. my guess, if he ask her to marry him, she would leave you in a heartbeat. my advice is to move on. find someone who can love you for who you are and keep up with the daily showering and hygiene.
 

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my question is, do you want to be with someone who cheats on you? its not some minor thing. what sort of message does it bring to the children? that its ok that mom or dad cheats? and if he grows up to be just like them, then what? divorce is never a good thing. seems to me he have change. so why should he be with someone who doesn't love him for who he is? i mean you can't turn back the clock and hope things will be just like it used to be. our mentality changes as we gets older. and if that person doesn't accept you for who you are or what have you become, why stay?
 

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The thing about cheating...

I told my husband 30 years ago that if I ever caught him cheating, he would never see me again.

But the truth is, in all that I've learned over the years, people usually do not PLAN to cheat. They seque into it; and get caught; and get addicted.

It is rarely black and white.
 

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If you weren't showering it stands to reason that there may be other things you are doing that is a turn off too. Unfortunately we can't see them because we aren't around you. You need to find a few people you can confide in and get their HONEST opinion about things about you that may be a turn off to your wife. Get a female co-worker (careful) or someone to critique you and offer advice on your grooming, attire, whatever.

My point is, you may think you are all rico suave but you need a second opinion.
 

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Sorry to the be the bearer of bad news but it sounds to me like emotionally the relationship is over for her. I'm sorry but once this happens it is almost if not impossible to get it back without some counseling to get to the bottom of the real issues going on in the relationship, good luck and I hope everything works out for you.
 
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