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Discussion Starter #1
How do you deal with it?

So I've always had some MILD depression, gets better and worse at times. But it's never been anything that has truly affected my day to day life. Although it is now!

This weekend is stbxh weekend with the kids. He picked them up yesterday about 10:30am. After that, I did nothing, felt nothing. I went to my room, read my book. Once I finished my book I laid there until I feel asleep around 11pm. I got up once or twice during that 12 hours to get a drink, have a cigarette, or go to the bathroom. Oh and I put in a load of laundry. But I didn't leave the house, no where to go, no one to do anything with so I just locked myself in my apartment and stayed in my room.

I've noticed a trend...basically the samething happend 2 weekends ago. It's when the kids are gone and I'm left with just myself.

I've decided to start running (ok it's more like start walking and work up to running). It's something that doesn't require a lot of money, I can do it alone and hell who knows I may lose some weight :rolleyes:

Can anyone else relate to this?

I've thought about counseling. I'm not against it but I don't have the money for it either. I'm not big on taking medicine either although it may come to that.
 

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As a person diagnosed with bipolar disorder having lived with depresssion off and on for over 20 years.......

I got this!

First thing I would like to point out is that there are some common misconceptions about dipression and the symptoms that cause it. Most of the time morning depression is caused by a mixture of dehydration and low blood sugar made worse with caffeine and sugar. The firt thing you want to do in the moning before you even eat is to drink about 4-6 cups of water and then have your coffee.

When you do eat focus on foods that won't spike blood sugar. This is because that delititious donut and sugary sweet coffee will spike your blood sugar making you feel incredible but then leave you drained as insulin mops up way too much glucose. It's ok to skip breakfast and fast for a few hours longer if you don't feel like eating. So long as you have water and maybe 2-3 grams of sugar to get you out of your coma, you'll actually feel better than you would cramming greasy meats and heavy starches down on top of whatever is left not completely digested from dinner last night.

Moving on.....

Make sure you get plenty of sleep and don't force yourself to stay up late at night or over dose on caffeine. I've noticed a lot of times I felt depressed at night I as really just tired and fighting sleep. Take a nap where you can get it and get a little exercise everyday so you don't freak out at night after sitting stilll for too long.

Limit TV! Violent or excitng moments on tv can reak havok on a depressed mind and worsen sleep. Especially late at night where you're trying to relax and your brain is over stimulated by exciting car chases of even worrying about your marriage.

And finally the most important.

Human interaction! A lot of times when we feel depressed it's because we're lonely and don't even realize we make ourselves miserable. You need to touch and talk to at least 5 people a day or else you can start driving yourself crazy. Even talking on TAM can help if you can't find or let yourself talk to anyone else.




Ok, here's the method I used for myself as well as everyone else who's depressed. This includes my cheating exwife who drove herself mad with guilt, an ex who called wanting to kill herself, and many others.

1. Distract yourself
You need to find something that takes your mind off of the situation. Go watch a cartoon or run to the store.

2. Re-assign emotions
Keep distracting yourself, except this time get yourself excied and happy about someting three or more times. Take anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes to keep yourself happy and feeling good.

3. Ask yourself about the problem
After you've gotten yoursel happy you will be more likely to approach the situation in a much more optimistic attitude. Ask yourself "What am I worried about?".

4. Mature your answers. Be mature about it.
Answer your questions by making mature educated deductions. You say "I'm depressed because I feel powerless, and I feel powerless because I haven't done anything for myself in years. Now that my husband is leaving I don't know how o be happy without feeling validated through my children or by him.... Wow, I really don't need him after all". Or "I can deal with this, it's not that bad..... why was I worrying?".

5. Action oriented present ense goals
Make a plan in a mature attitude about what you will do today and tomorrow. "I'm going to drop the kids off at the sitter and hang ut with the girls tonight. Or I'm going to talk to guys at a social meeting and feel better no matter what."

It's all about how you talk to yourself and what image you see of yourself in your head. You see yourself as a powerful woman whose highly desirable your subconscious will lead your conscious.
 

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i don't know if this is useful, but Dr Oz spoke a few months back about having a tablespoon of almond butter (peanut butter) before going to bed to even out your blood sugar while you slept for people that had sleeping issues. i wonder if that wouldn't help with the morning/blood sugar/depression thing too?
 

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To these good suggestions I would add this. You know what the trigger is, your kids leaving. Plan something for the time just after they leave. Take a class, arrange to meet a friend for coffee, plan a walk with a friend, etc. Get ready for this before the kids leave so you are ready to go. If you can, go out the door at the same time they do. Just don't give yourself the opportunity of spending the day in bed.

Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Part of the problem is lack of friends. Granted I've caused that problem on my own. Being a stay at home mom and working out of the house for the last 6 yrs, limited my exposure to people. I was always jealous of my husband, he got to leave the house and go to work, make friends. Yes it was work but he was with people, people he developed friendships with. When this issue would come up during our arguements he's response was "Get a job!" Yes if only it were that easy. Aside from the fact that I had a job it just wasn't outside the home, the other part is I'm not one to put myself out there. I am working now (outside the home) and I don't know or trust my co-workers. The issue is a personal one, I don't feel like I have anything to give to a friendship, except I know I'm a good friend. But you hear people talking (to almost complete strangers) about their lives. I understand that's how you get to know someone but I can't do it. I can't just walk up to someone, say Hey let's be friends, and start talking to them like I've known them forever and think that they actually have some interest in my life.

What can I say, I've got problems! :eek:
 

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you are so right NSweet about the person having depression and sugar. my ex wife. was always good if she had chocolate or a donut or coke, loved coke. but when she had none she was so depressed. terrible
 

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Hi Daisy
I overcame depression through religion, it just explained it away. I didn't join a group or anything, I just sat down with some books, considered it all deeply as I could and meditated. I am also not suggesting it is a solution for everyone, but thought I would share it.

The issue, in my opinion isn't that it is a specific thing that always needs to be improved or changed e.g. money issues, relationships and so on (sure these things can make us feel depressed), but it is the state or mood of depression itself that needs to be challenged and overcome at a mental level. Stop depression from arising or nip it in the bud when it starts to show.

I am sure you you will beat it! :)
 

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A couple of ideas.

1) It's pretty common for people to get depressed when a spouse leaves the marriage. This might be a time to try anti-depressants. Talk to your doctor.

2) Running is awesome for relieving stress/ emptying out your brain. If you haven't already looked into it, try the C25K (couch to 5K) program. That will take you from sitting on the couch to running a 5K in 9 weeks. Go ahead and pick out a 5K race in your area (on one of the weekends you won't have your kids) and sign up for it. Then you'll have a concrete goal to work towards and keep you running.

3) Could you line up some volunteer activity for the no-kid weekends? See if there is a habitat for humanity build or if you can work at the local food bank or volunteer to walk dogs at a local animal shelter on the weekends you are without children. Doing something for others might help you more than trying to come up with things to help yourself.
 

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Most cities have a Meet Up website. Ours has one that has various clubs. Some hiking clubs, running clubs and a woman's club. They cost minimally and are fun. It's time to stretch outside your comfort zone! With making friends I find it better to ask the other person questions, people love to talk about their lives. With a lot of folks you can just wind them up and off they go!
 
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