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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
H is leaving tomorrow to live on his own. Apparently there is no way according to him that he will live with O/W as he needs to sort his head out and his depression. (She is still living with BF).

I am leaving the house for a long weekend away at 4.15am tomorrow morning, he doesn’t know this.

Can you give me some idea what I can say to him before I go to bed this evening?

Should I say “I won’t be here when you wake in the morning, so all the best?”:confused:
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Should I just leave and say nothing? If he hears me going out the door and asks where I am off too what should I say.

He isn't even telling me the address of where he is moving too.

I so confused! 11 years together.
 

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Should I just leave and say nothing? If he hears me going out the door and asks where I am off too what should I say.

He isn't even telling me the address of where he is moving too.

I so confused! 11 years together.
none of your business! then smile and go.

make sure you leave your underware drawer open with all the good ones missing.
 

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Should I just leave and say nothing?
Exactly.

If he hears me going out the door and asks where I am off too what should I say.
Don't say anything. Or at most "Out" and leave it at that.

He isn't even telling me the address of where he is moving too.
Which goes back to my original question, if that's the case why do you feel the need to tell him anything?

I so confused! 11 years together.
Sorry to hear that. But you're in good company here.
 
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Tell him your having a fun weekend away with you GFs!!

Seriously he doesn't need or deserve an explanation. It's 180 time!
Be strong, I know it's going to be hard, I've been there. Just make sure you look fabulous and smile as your going out the door.
Good luck!
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I so confused! 11 years together.
Totally understood. Remember though, it was his idea that he needed to go "sort things out" or whatever. The 11 years is tough...I'm in year 13 and in reconciliation with my wife who had a five year long affair. Confused is normal! Take care of YOU right now. If he wakes up and asks where you're going, just say you're going out and he doesn't need to worry.

I'm really feeling for ya. This crap ain't easy.
 

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Well try your best to feel confident. But if he asks where you are going just tell him. You are leaving without telling me where you are going so guess what I do not feel I need to tell you anything. Bye

Good Luck
 

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It's so hard when it finally happens, that's why I am going away. I should appear confident shouldn't I?
Yes. As difficult as it is going to be, you need to appear confident even if you aren't. The old saying "you gotta fake it to make it" would apply here. If you truly want him to come around, you have to be willing to walk away. This is on him and you need to take care of you at this point.

Again, I totally understand we're talking about 11 years. That's a long time. I hope all goes well for you.
 

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I met with a pastor the other day. He is in the same denomination as my oldest BIL and my oldest BIL has been asking me to meet with this guy and I did. Went to his church on Sunday, talked with him and then met with him the other day.


He said it was time to D my WS, that I have been too easy on her over the years.

I wrote, "Dear ********, I love you and always have. You were the sunrise and sunset in my life. I have sought godly counsel, prayed for you, and rededicated my life to Christ. I hope that you seek Christ in your life. When it was suggested to me that I file for D, I found peace. Because I love you I am filing for D. In this most difficult time I still love you. In Christ. Love, Mac"

I gave her that letter last night.

The pastor said write it down so she can have it to ponder. My oldest BIL said it was short and right to the point and it showed my heart.

The pastor also said in his three point plan for me to follow through with D.

Almost 30 years with my WS and she was the sunshine in my life.

There is no sunshine right now and I am not confident on my own but I am determined that through God's grace I will overcome.

Show resolve.

This to shall pass.
 
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thanks Guys, It's wierd, although I know he must go and it is for the best, but when he told me last week he was going Friday, it has been really hard waiting for the day to come. I'ts been like waiting for the funeral after the death!!!
 

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i'd tell him you were going to "sort things out".
that, or "bye".
 

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If you can't think of anything to say, just recite the Gettysburg address. Maybe throw on a black tophat and a fake beard for good measure.

He'll walk out the door very confused.
 

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Tell him you are going to have breakfast at a nice little place you know, and that afterward you are going to see a lawyer to sort out your future. Or tell him to go with you if he wants to find out, take him out to the middle of no where and leave him there in his boxers.
 
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