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Deep regrets...

1594 Views 5 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  RandomDude
This is a curious thing really - no no... it's not an issue

It's a backburner issue if anything, something we're burying... I'm happy when it comes to marriage, my wife has given me the family I've never had, and love that at certain points in my life I doubted even existed (And sometimes, I still doubt exists, then she proves me wrong once again!)

But some regrets sting, like an old sore wound that can never heal. It's actually vice versa too with my wife; both of us made alot of sacrifices to be together and to have what we have right now. We've both abandoned our dreams, and due to circumstances beyond our control, we can never live them yet still stay married.

On both sides there is intolerance, my issue is with the "patriots" and "nationalists" of my homeland, despite being born in a different country - I still have a part of me loyal to my people. They despise me for abandoning our dwindling bloodline (by marrying my wife), as our people have intermixed "racially" way too much in history and many have forgotten who we are. We're too few to the point to the point I'm careful to who I declare my pride to - as I do not want others to have a negative impression of my people (I'm always an emissary)...

While I have made my decision, sometimes I do regret what I've done, broke the commitments that realisticly must be upheld for our people and culture to survive admist being a minority where-ever we go and globalisation.

Now my wife's issue is with the church, as her beliefs has drifted further and further away from the doctrine the longer she stuck around with me, making her unable to find the support she needs to open up her own church where she had wanted to dedicate it to complete tolerance, acceptance, and non-judgemental attitudes towards any and all - including and especially women of her past profession.

She admits she does think about it sometimes but told me that she believes this is where her god wants her to be. Me... I don't have the luxury of faith. I know that I will NOT abandon my wife and daughter, but it does pain me to know that I'm contributing to my people's extinction. How does one deal with a regret like that?
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never lose yourself EVER

unless that person really needs changing and is a harm to themselves and others. Otherwise i say it again DO NOT LOSE YOURSELF

you do not want to have regrets those will lead to issues "e.g. jealousy, anger hate suffering.
This again?

If you could go back in time and never date her, never have a child with her and never marry her, would you? If you could go back and choose racial purity over the life you have now, would you do it? If you did, I suspect you'd have a much deeper set of regrets.

I doubt your wife truly knows what God's plan is. What she does know is where she wants to be. With them or with you.
Yeah that's true... *sighs*

Guess I would have to face the consequences of whichever decision I made regardless, I don't know if I did the right thing, or the moral thing - there's not really right and wrong in this. But yeah, I can't really imagine my life without my wife at this point...

Yet I feel like I'm being selfish when it comes to my people. Most of us are actually quite accepting (what the nationalists consider our downfall and reason we're facing extinction - we fk anyone! assimilate into anything!)... and it is sad that we have to be our own worst enemy just to preserve the good of our multi-cultural ways and beliefs

Oh well...
I believe in looking at "race" in a different light.
You have to maybe acknowledge that all the different races evolved over time. If most of a generation of race A intermarried with race B, then race C developed. This was when race A comprised of 100 people, all that was left. And race B was only 50 people. 500 years later... are there regrets about losing race C? Maybe. Only because sooo much time has passed that race C didn't know they came from A and B together. It's a thing that takes a very long long time to develop.

And really, do we KNOW how all the races evolved? Isolation, mostly. But this all started back when the world population was so very much smaller, and mixing races was a matter of survival.

In 1,000 years, the race of F, G will regret the same thing.

I (my opinion) is race matters if climate dictates survival.
Inuvik, for example. It would be important to keep the characteristics of that race since they have adapted to the harsh climate. But, even nowadays that doesn't matter as much. Technology and ways to get things in and out.

Not to make light of your feelings... but hey, donate sperm! If it's about repopulating your race, you don't have to leave your wife to do that. Science.
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Not to make light of your feelings... but hey, donate sperm! If it's about repopulating your race, you don't have to leave your wife to do that. Science.
Now why the hell didn't I think of that... lol

Maybe it'll make me feel a bit better though, might just do it. Would be interesting to have to deal with the consulate and hospitals especially if I tell them I want the sperm donated to only those of my ethnic :rofl: Hell I'll look like a nazi xD

Never done this sort of thing before, might be fun :)
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