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My H has always had self esteem issues. I've been accused of cheating, with no other evidence than I smell different. ( I have never had an affair) His food issues have caused rifts between us, he went so far as to throw my garbage can out after disposing of the turkey wrapper one thanksgiving. And the part that gets me the most is the constant talk of our kids moving out. (They are 22, 20 and 15) Our oldest boy will graduate college and move on this spring. My H has no relationship with our oldest...he is a good boy, even if he has yet to really decide what he wants to do when he grows up. It doesn't take much to set my H off. If the boy leaves a plate and fork on the counter my H is cussing up a storm. I have not had the happy family I wanted in this life, and I grow tired of worrying what will become of my family. Does anyone have advice? Thanks.
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I am not sure if I have advice or not. I do have a couple of questions.

It sounds as if you and your husband are psychologically preparing for an empty nest but you aren't quite in sync on the matter. What do you expect to happen in the coming years? How do you think you and your husband will relate to each other once it's back to just the two of you?

Your son's relationship with your husband is something very personal to the two of them. Although it's certainly distressing to see them so distant from each other, your son and your husband are both old enough to navigate that relationship themselves. I would bet your husband's feelings run much deeper than you realize, but for some reason your husband feels vulnerable showing those tender feelings. He may be projecting his own self-esteem issues onto his son because he wants his son to do/be better than him, and he doesn't recognize the impact his behavior really has.
 
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