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ok I need some advice I have 2 ex wifes I have 2 kids with 1 and I with the other the mother of my 2 oldest we hardly ever speak but the other well different story I am doing my best to co parent for the last 2 years our child has been living with her up till recently the mom has asked me to enroll her in the school close to me so I have and my daughter is with me a lot more and she is loving it. but the problem lies with her mom she has to call me every day while the child is at school and when I am around her she tries to be a little handsy and or make statements that shouldn't be made especially to a ex I have asked her to stop but she has contune to do this I am afraid that if I get to pushy about this that she will do a 180 and I not get to see my little one it get bad enough that if the little one can understand the comments she make and tell her not to talk to her dad that way. this has a bad history of lies and making false accusation so any ideas on how to deal with this
 

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Buy yourself a small wearable audio/video recorder. I'm a cop and picked one up for less than $50. Clips on your pocket and it does a great job. Wear it whenever the ex is in your vicinity. If she makes an allegation against you, you have video and she has squat. If she puts hands on you, ask her to stop. If she persists, tell her to stop, if she persists still, have her arrested for assault. You'll have a video. If she flirts or otherwise says something inappropriate, pretend you didn't hear it. Normal people won't continue an activity that gives no reward. Maybe she likes to see you squirm or maybe she wants to pick up some shard of your dignity she thinks she left laying around. Whatever her game is, if you don't play, she will grow tired of it and quit. These little cameras are small, convenient, inexpensive, easy to use, and they are the perfect solution for dealing with lying bats who like to make false accusations. If her calling is a problem, have her text instead. If she writes something flirty or inappropriate, text her back and tell her you'd like to get along for the sake of your child but you're not interested. If she continues, just don't respond to any text that is out of line. She'll quit getting whatever reward she gets from flirting with you and she'll find some other guy to hit on.
You're as much a parent as she is. If she wants to play court games, you can play as well as she can. With your video and text messages, you'll be able to go in with real evidence and she'll have to come in with only ugly, unsupported stories.
 

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Are you in a relationship now or are you going it alone for a while? Knowing a little more information will help me and others give you ideas. What I already know from your comment is that you want to do this in a way that will have you and her on good terms still afterwards.

ex and I co-parented well I think. Sometimes it seemed like she wanted me to be a best friend she could call up and vent to though. But we do have children together and I'd nudge the conversation back to whatever it was we actually needed to talk about or I'd politely say I had to go. Like you I didn't want to be blunt or hurt her feelings. I think there's usually a way to be tactful and nice and still keep things where you want them.
 

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well with her it is a control issue we have been divorced for over 5 years she has already been re married and divorced again.. I am now in a relationship that I am very happy with and of course she is very negative about...she will go as far to try and say are child cant stand the girl I am with but when my child is with and my lady them to or tight doing nails hair watching tv..as far as the phone calls if they were all about my daughter I wouldn't care but out a ten min phone call about a min is about her
 

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well with her it is a control issue we have been divorced for over 5 years she has already been re married and divorced again.. I am now in a relationship that I am very happy with and of course she is very negative about...she will go as far to try and say are child cant stand the girl I am with but when my child is with and my lady them to or tight doing nails hair watching tv..as far as the phone calls if they were all about my daughter I wouldn't care but out a ten min phone call about a min is about her
I think you've nailed it being a control issue and more specifically she thinks she still gets to control you. You're just going to have to tell her it's not happening and touching isn't happening and let the chips fall where they may.
 

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Establish a low/no contact rule.

If she calls you and randomly talks about something other than the child's welfare, hang up on her. Continue to do so until she quickly gets to the point of discussing the child.

You don't have to tell her anything, just hang up. If it isn't about the child, do NOT engage.

You have a custody agreement, correct?
 

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we have joint custody as far as visition it is open as far trying to stop the phone calls and stuff,, its hard to explain how quick she can turn on me for example after we split up 7 years for 6 six months I stayed to my self and out the blue I meet someone that made me feel alive and when the ex ask me about if I was out with this girl I was honest and before it was over I had been arrested 3 time and a op me put on me for over 3 months I didn't get to talk to any of my kids she even call the mother of my other children and convince her to put a op me so I couldn't seen them either and after a police investigations they found out that the charges were fasle and to this day she has never admitted that she lied I feel I have to handle her with kid gloves so nothing else will happen
 

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You have to act accordly to the decree, that's for sure. But nowhere is it printed that you have to accept phone calls from your x that deals with anything but your child.

Research low/no contact. You may benefit from it.
 

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we have joint custody as far as visition it is open as far trying to stop the phone calls and stuff,, its hard to explain how quick she can turn on me for example after we split up 7 years for 6 six months I stayed to my self and out the blue I meet someone that made me feel alive and when the ex ask me about if I was out with this girl I was honest and before it was over I had been arrested 3 time and a op me put on me for over 3 months I didn't get to talk to any of my kids she even call the mother of my other children and convince her to put a op me so I couldn't seen them either and after a police investigations they found out that the charges were fasle and to this day she has never admitted that she lied I feel I have to handle her with kid gloves so nothing else will happen
Are you ordered to pay support or is she ordered to pay support? If neither then can you explain how the custody and support is set up? I'm trying to figure out how she has the ability to do the things you say she did. What were you arrested for 3 times for?
 
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