My wife has been having an emotional affair for months. She has been playing online spades with this guy for about 8 months (she said the time frame, I haven't been tracking it). She plays for hours nearly every night. The only time she doesn't play with him is when he is not there. He'll even go so far as to let her know if he isn't going to be playing. "I'll be gone until Sunday." I have been arguing that this relationship is wrong for months. However, she has continually insisted that it is just fun. 12 days ago, I came across (accidentally) some google searches. "Falling in love on the internet", "Getting over an emotional affair", and several searches for him. Supposedly, she only knows his first name and last initial and that he lives in Denver. I confronted her and she admitted that she had lied. She said she wouldn't play with him again. She has played every single night and has even called him. I don't believe they have ever met. She says she needs time to end it in her own way. She can't feel forced to end her relationship with him. How do I give her space to do that while she tears my heart out every night?
HurtinginTN
- Status
Dealing with an ongoing emotional affair
It looked like there were a lot of things to set up. So, just pay for it (30 seconds), download it (High speed internet, what is the timeframe for download?), put in the email address to send the info to, and the frequency.
What if she happens to come in during the middle? That would not be good. She has to be out of the house to ensure that doesn't happen. "Why are you in there with the door locked?" Right now, I don't really trust her. However, she doesn't trust me at all either.
What if she happens to come in during the middle? That would not be good. She has to be out of the house to ensure that doesn't happen. "Why are you in there with the door locked?" Right now, I don't really trust her. However, she doesn't trust me at all either.
So what if she doesn't trust you? Keyloggers are invisible anyway. Once you install it, she can't tell.
Call the one you pick, from your office, and ask them if you can set up the info beforehand, and then go to the computer with your pre-set up password and just download it.
Call the one you pick, from your office, and ask them if you can set up the info beforehand, and then go to the computer with your pre-set up password and just download it.
If you don't install that fu*king keylogger, Im going to be a mushroom cloud laying motherf*cker in your thread motherf*cker!!!.
![Image]()
Keylogger!!!!!!!!!!
LOL.
Keylogger!!!!!!!!!!
LOL.
Well, a couple of observations. I believe the 180 has power because if they are doing "good", it is easy to be nice. If you were mean and angry when they were being "bad", they will think that your niceness is just because you "got your way." She has been going through the actions of an incredibly wife and mother the past couple of nights. If I was giving her gifts, I love you's, etc. she would take it as conditional love. If you do bad, I treat you bad. If you do good, I treat you good. You must do things my way if you want to be treated good.
Now, that is not the proper way to take it. However, the WS isn't thinking clearly or they wouldn't be in the affair to start with. Last night, I did better on the 180. Not much talking at all, just being in the same room. She went to a counsellor yesterday. I wanted very much to ask her about the session. However, I restrained myself and just asked her if she liked the counsellor. No talk of the affair, etc.
Feelings follow actions. Her actions of spending so much time with him led to her feelings for him. Eventually, spending more time with me and the kids will lead to more feelings for us. Don't worry, I will remain vigilant in watching for further contact. I do have a couple of new leads in finding the other man. I have been researching the keyloggers.
Again, thank you all for all of your support and advice. Without your help, my marriage would certainly not have survived. It's still on very shaky ground, but at least there is some hope.
Now, that is not the proper way to take it. However, the WS isn't thinking clearly or they wouldn't be in the affair to start with. Last night, I did better on the 180. Not much talking at all, just being in the same room. She went to a counsellor yesterday. I wanted very much to ask her about the session. However, I restrained myself and just asked her if she liked the counsellor. No talk of the affair, etc.
Feelings follow actions. Her actions of spending so much time with him led to her feelings for him. Eventually, spending more time with me and the kids will lead to more feelings for us. Don't worry, I will remain vigilant in watching for further contact. I do have a couple of new leads in finding the other man. I have been researching the keyloggers.
Again, thank you all for all of your support and advice. Without your help, my marriage would certainly not have survived. It's still on very shaky ground, but at least there is some hope.
Well, thank you all for your support during this extremely hurtful time. While your advice is probably right for most, I am choosing to trust my wife implicitly. I can not force her to end this thing. She has said it is over and I choose to believe her. I will not go with the keylogger. I will not continue to try tracking him down. For my sanity, I choose to let this thing go. The past is the past. I know this will not make anyone here happy, but I am not married to anyone here. I am married to the woman that cried and looked me in the eye and said it was over. Please respect my leap of faith in this matter.
Wow. If I had a dollar for every betrayed husband who has said that (and later been proven wrong), I'd be rich. What is it about men who become afraid to protect their marriage? Are they afraid of the women going kamikaze on them?
Is she at least giving you her passwords to her phone and computer?
Is she at least giving you her passwords to her phone and computer?
Why would you trust your wife implicitly now? Because of the things she says now? Talk is cheap. What you need are actions that will slowly build back trust over a long period of time.
This leap of faith you are taking will end with you splatting on the ground....painfully. The past is only the past when you have protected yourself to a degree that it doesn't repeat.
Offering implicit trust is begging the past to be your present and future.
WAKE UP!
This leap of faith you are taking will end with you splatting on the ground....painfully. The past is only the past when you have protected yourself to a degree that it doesn't repeat.
Offering implicit trust is begging the past to be your present and future.
WAKE UP!
OK. Sorry for the camouflage. She had said something that led me to believe either she or he had found this site and was reading my posts. I needed her to believe I was the doormat still.
She did sneak out and buy a prepaid phone. I caught her with it when she got home. She didn't give it to me, and I didn't physically force her to (which is what it would have taken that night.) She made an offer the next day. She would let me see the phone IF I let her play spades with him. I made sure I was very clear it would be for one night. I got the phone and made an online tracking so I can check the phone calls.
There have been no more calls on that phone. However, the "just one night" turned into every night since. Tonight, I played the camouflage trick again. I am watching her chat, with a little help from a friend
. She has changed her screen name again because people know what's going on. Her chat tonight indicated that she did not know about this.
The reasoning for letting her play with him is difficult to explain. Let's just say there was a good reason. She said it would "just be friends" like it was in the beginning. Again, tonight's chat blows that out of the water.
OK, keylogger will be in place. I have been working to 2 pronged approach. Everything is OK and trying plan A. Keeping up surveillance in the background. Obviously, she has no clue she is being watched tonight. Suggestions? Especially you Eli-Zor.
She has agreed to a date tomorrow night. Sunday is our daughter's birthday party. My plan for now is to go on the date. While she is getting her bath tomorrow, I will install the keylogger. It hasn't been done yet because I thought they may have already installed one. Paranoid, I guess. We'll go on our date and to our daughter's birthday party on Sunday.
Part of me wants to confront her right now about this new evidence. Eli-Zor, one part of your advice was to shut up, that I'm telling my wife too much. Do I just hold this Ace up my sleeve for now? My friend will walk me through a way to block Spadester without it being obvious to her that I did it.
Exposure looks like it is a necessary step. I told her father and brother, but she convinced them it was over. Perhaps I should take them tonights transcripts.
Again, sorry if my camouflage caused anyone on here to not listen to the excellent advice offered on this site.
She did sneak out and buy a prepaid phone. I caught her with it when she got home. She didn't give it to me, and I didn't physically force her to (which is what it would have taken that night.) She made an offer the next day. She would let me see the phone IF I let her play spades with him. I made sure I was very clear it would be for one night. I got the phone and made an online tracking so I can check the phone calls.
There have been no more calls on that phone. However, the "just one night" turned into every night since. Tonight, I played the camouflage trick again. I am watching her chat, with a little help from a friend
. She has changed her screen name again because people know what's going on. Her chat tonight indicated that she did not know about this.The reasoning for letting her play with him is difficult to explain. Let's just say there was a good reason. She said it would "just be friends" like it was in the beginning. Again, tonight's chat blows that out of the water.
OK, keylogger will be in place. I have been working to 2 pronged approach. Everything is OK and trying plan A. Keeping up surveillance in the background. Obviously, she has no clue she is being watched tonight. Suggestions? Especially you Eli-Zor.
She has agreed to a date tomorrow night. Sunday is our daughter's birthday party. My plan for now is to go on the date. While she is getting her bath tomorrow, I will install the keylogger. It hasn't been done yet because I thought they may have already installed one. Paranoid, I guess. We'll go on our date and to our daughter's birthday party on Sunday.
Part of me wants to confront her right now about this new evidence. Eli-Zor, one part of your advice was to shut up, that I'm telling my wife too much. Do I just hold this Ace up my sleeve for now? My friend will walk me through a way to block Spadester without it being obvious to her that I did it.
Exposure looks like it is a necessary step. I told her father and brother, but she convinced them it was over. Perhaps I should take them tonights transcripts.
Again, sorry if my camouflage caused anyone on here to not listen to the excellent advice offered on this site.
It is easier to trust those whom we have an adversarial relationship with, than it is to trust those whom we are aligned with.
We can trust that our adversaries will always wrong us, in every action they take, but with our allies... they become adversaries at their convenience, usually at our expense.
If that thought can reside in your mind, then you can diversify your trust portfolio accordingly.
Just a thought.
We can trust that our adversaries will always wrong us, in every action they take, but with our allies... they become adversaries at their convenience, usually at our expense.
If that thought can reside in your mind, then you can diversify your trust portfolio accordingly.
Just a thought.
This is from a mobile so I may repeat some items.
Firstly I will give you a 2x4 ( a telling off)
I am staggered you agreed to her playing the game, why don't you hire a room for her for the night and buy him a condom to use, that decision Sir is enabling the affair. In one of you previous posts you said he would not play spades again, yet he was on the system, your wife was on and they made contact again, she has his details and called him, have no doubt.
This is the hard part, create a plan and follow it:-
You rescind your agreement - never negotiate with an adulterer, tell her "no more spades, no more contact with him ever" she whines you say she has restarted the affair, do not say you have the evidence, If she challenges you keep to the script , " I will not tolerate you conducting an adulterous affair" move off the conversation, block the site , no debate , use the keylogger to track her activities.
Make every effort to find this guy, it will take time, you need his name , start by placing a VAR in her car. You mentioned previously you have his number, call it give him hell, no threats ,words like he is intentionally committing adultery with your wife and working to destroy your family , you will protect your wife and children from him, let him know if he does not cease all contact with your wife there will be massive repercussions on him. You will leave no stone unturned to make his life, be it at work or at home very uncomfortable. Do not enter into a debate, keep control of the conversation be firm hard worded.
Call her parents and siblings again and let them know of the affair, provide some evidence but not all. Let them know if the affair does not cease that it will break up your family and you are asking them to help you save your marriage.
Let a few of her good friends know she is in an affair and you have hard evidence, what you are looking for is their support to protect your marriage.
Keep records of her chat conversations in a secure place.
Check her Facebook account and ensure you have all the details of her friends secured in word or something similar, you need the links to the friends pages as well , I am very certain he is either listed there or she has another way of chatting to him. Experience says you will have to expose the affair over facebook or another social networking site she and the OM may be registered on.
Be prepared for her to move out, this is going to be tough do not blink, the children stay with you , she moves out not you.
As you home school , change that : register the children and send them to school, if she asks why you say you say you are protecting your family from an adulterous wife, no further debate. What you are doing is preparing a plan for a long fight to save your marriage.
Do not waver and do not think your wife loves you, at this stage she does not this is her evil twin and she is manipulating you. You do not play nice with your wife, she is not playing nice with you. Show her love at the same time intolerance of her adulterous behavior. Use these words "adulterous affair" in conversations, the word affair on its own dilutes the meaning.
Do not agree to anything your wife proposes, she will threaten to leave , say "pack your bags now". Secure your finances in the event she goes away, if she stays she has what is required to live on.
How old are your children? Have you told them that mommy is cheating with another man. ? Depending how deep your wife is in the fog, your children will be the single reason why she will want to stay in the marriage and not leave home.
The way you view this is your wife no longer married to you, she will threaten divorce, she will gaslight you to friends and family, she will contact the OM . The counter for you is to have zero tolerance, inform her family and friends , keep the children ,thus the school. This plan is for the long haul , unless your wife changes soon you have a tough road ahead of you.
To help prepare buy the book "surviving an affair" by W Harley. I do need to council you that many will give you contrary advice, much of this will appeal to you as you will be emotionally down and afraid to lose your wife. The book , others , the affaircare.com articles, marriagebuilders.com articles and myself will guide you. The process I am proposing you follow is the marriagebuilders one.
The tension and stress in your household is going to climb , keep a clear mind, eat well, walk, run, be consistent, I will post the "180" for you to follow.
A lot of the above may seem as controlling behaviour, it is not untill she is out of the affair fully engaged in the marriage , has in place extraordinary precautions that affair proof the marriage then the steps above are a start of what needs to be done to break the affair before you start rebuilding your marriage .
BTW: if you do not have a keylogger, try eblaster it allows you to have her chats and so forth mailed to you, she will not be aware of the background activity.
Posted via Mobile Device
Firstly I will give you a 2x4 ( a telling off)
I am staggered you agreed to her playing the game, why don't you hire a room for her for the night and buy him a condom to use, that decision Sir is enabling the affair. In one of you previous posts you said he would not play spades again, yet he was on the system, your wife was on and they made contact again, she has his details and called him, have no doubt.
This is the hard part, create a plan and follow it:-
You rescind your agreement - never negotiate with an adulterer, tell her "no more spades, no more contact with him ever" she whines you say she has restarted the affair, do not say you have the evidence, If she challenges you keep to the script , " I will not tolerate you conducting an adulterous affair" move off the conversation, block the site , no debate , use the keylogger to track her activities.
Make every effort to find this guy, it will take time, you need his name , start by placing a VAR in her car. You mentioned previously you have his number, call it give him hell, no threats ,words like he is intentionally committing adultery with your wife and working to destroy your family , you will protect your wife and children from him, let him know if he does not cease all contact with your wife there will be massive repercussions on him. You will leave no stone unturned to make his life, be it at work or at home very uncomfortable. Do not enter into a debate, keep control of the conversation be firm hard worded.
Call her parents and siblings again and let them know of the affair, provide some evidence but not all. Let them know if the affair does not cease that it will break up your family and you are asking them to help you save your marriage.
Let a few of her good friends know she is in an affair and you have hard evidence, what you are looking for is their support to protect your marriage.
Keep records of her chat conversations in a secure place.
Check her Facebook account and ensure you have all the details of her friends secured in word or something similar, you need the links to the friends pages as well , I am very certain he is either listed there or she has another way of chatting to him. Experience says you will have to expose the affair over facebook or another social networking site she and the OM may be registered on.
Be prepared for her to move out, this is going to be tough do not blink, the children stay with you , she moves out not you.
As you home school , change that : register the children and send them to school, if she asks why you say you say you are protecting your family from an adulterous wife, no further debate. What you are doing is preparing a plan for a long fight to save your marriage.
Do not waver and do not think your wife loves you, at this stage she does not this is her evil twin and she is manipulating you. You do not play nice with your wife, she is not playing nice with you. Show her love at the same time intolerance of her adulterous behavior. Use these words "adulterous affair" in conversations, the word affair on its own dilutes the meaning.
Do not agree to anything your wife proposes, she will threaten to leave , say "pack your bags now". Secure your finances in the event she goes away, if she stays she has what is required to live on.
How old are your children? Have you told them that mommy is cheating with another man. ? Depending how deep your wife is in the fog, your children will be the single reason why she will want to stay in the marriage and not leave home.
The way you view this is your wife no longer married to you, she will threaten divorce, she will gaslight you to friends and family, she will contact the OM . The counter for you is to have zero tolerance, inform her family and friends , keep the children ,thus the school. This plan is for the long haul , unless your wife changes soon you have a tough road ahead of you.
To help prepare buy the book "surviving an affair" by W Harley. I do need to council you that many will give you contrary advice, much of this will appeal to you as you will be emotionally down and afraid to lose your wife. The book , others , the affaircare.com articles, marriagebuilders.com articles and myself will guide you. The process I am proposing you follow is the marriagebuilders one.
The tension and stress in your household is going to climb , keep a clear mind, eat well, walk, run, be consistent, I will post the "180" for you to follow.
A lot of the above may seem as controlling behaviour, it is not untill she is out of the affair fully engaged in the marriage , has in place extraordinary precautions that affair proof the marriage then the steps above are a start of what needs to be done to break the affair before you start rebuilding your marriage .
BTW: if you do not have a keylogger, try eblaster it allows you to have her chats and so forth mailed to you, she will not be aware of the background activity.
Posted via Mobile Device
The 180
A nicely summarized version below by 827Aug
the more "wordy" version is in my post under the following link
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/22617-just-dealing.html#post268957
This in conjunction with Plan A strengthens you.
Stay strong and keep focused the prize is the love of your wife, your family and future.
A nicely summarized version below by 827Aug
the more "wordy" version is in my post under the following link
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/22617-just-dealing.html#post268957
This in conjunction with Plan A strengthens you.
Stay strong and keep focused the prize is the love of your wife, your family and future.
Eli-zor, Thanks for your response. It is complicated on the reason to agree to one night of spades. That was the agreement and then she continued it. I do have his information. Neither have Facebook, at least as far as I can tell. She has called him twice, at least.
Her plan for today is to play with him from 11:00 to 3:00 Central time. They are using wtff (him) and shygrl (her). They changed to these names yesterday since I was going to be out of town. They are planning on changing back to older names tomorrow so they don't blow their cover. They fully believe the new names have thrown everyone off track.
She told him she has to leave at 3:00. I am supposed to be home at 5:00 and we're going on a date tonight. Tomorrow, we are having a birthday party for our daughter. I will play along for tonight and tomorrow. I will show her what she will be missing by leaving. I expect her to get on Spadester tomorrow night. That is when I'll pull the plug. I was planning on putting last night's transcript in front of her. After reading your post, I suppose I shouldn't do that. Perhaps I could just put a page or two in front of her. Either way, Spadester will be blocked tomorrow. They will go underground, as they have already tried with buying the prepaid phone. I don't have much confidence at this point that this marriage will survive.
Her plan for today is to play with him from 11:00 to 3:00 Central time. They are using wtff (him) and shygrl (her). They changed to these names yesterday since I was going to be out of town. They are planning on changing back to older names tomorrow so they don't blow their cover. They fully believe the new names have thrown everyone off track.
She told him she has to leave at 3:00. I am supposed to be home at 5:00 and we're going on a date tonight. Tomorrow, we are having a birthday party for our daughter. I will play along for tonight and tomorrow. I will show her what she will be missing by leaving. I expect her to get on Spadester tomorrow night. That is when I'll pull the plug. I was planning on putting last night's transcript in front of her. After reading your post, I suppose I shouldn't do that. Perhaps I could just put a page or two in front of her. Either way, Spadester will be blocked tomorrow. They will go underground, as they have already tried with buying the prepaid phone. I don't have much confidence at this point that this marriage will survive.
Stay on course, if you have his details try locate his family, parents and siblings even his place of work. She will go underground, it is not for you to take stress if she does not cease the affair after you confront her the second time, pack her bags. You will find this emotionally draining you must move the stress to her and the OM and make her life very uncomfortable. A first step to her moving out is she goes to her parents home. Be firm, no shouting, do not allow her to force your hand or dictate the pace.
When you present evidence do not let her make out it is something else, ensure she knows the consequences and she will be wholly responsible for the family breakup, you will be fighting for full custody even if you get a fifty fifty split she must know she will have to face reality where all will know of her infidelity and it's impact on the family.
Does your state allow her to be divorced on grounds of adultery? I am thinking ahead to some of the consequences she must face.
Do not weaken it is easy to give in , divorce will be a lot more painful . Think of the end game and a long term relationship with your wife and family.
Posted via Mobile Device
When you present evidence do not let her make out it is something else, ensure she knows the consequences and she will be wholly responsible for the family breakup, you will be fighting for full custody even if you get a fifty fifty split she must know she will have to face reality where all will know of her infidelity and it's impact on the family.
Does your state allow her to be divorced on grounds of adultery? I am thinking ahead to some of the consequences she must face.
Do not weaken it is easy to give in , divorce will be a lot more painful . Think of the end game and a long term relationship with your wife and family.
Posted via Mobile Device
That is what I'm trying to focus on. My goal is to produce a happy, blissful marriage to my current wife. I have told her this. Right now, I don't like her very much. I have reiterated that our marriage is the best example for our children. How our marriage works out is likely to become how their marriage will work out. Not only would reconciliation be best for them in the short run, it will affect the lives of our children for decades.
I have come to learn that most people have no good basis for how a marriage is supposed to be. My parents and her parents have been together for over 40 years. However, their relationships leave much to be desired. Longevity isn't the sign of a good marriage. My 13 year marriage (one month from today) sure isn't healthy.
Our children are 7 (son) and our daughters are 9 and 10. I believe I will sit them down tomorrow night after I tell her no more contact with him and tell them what is going on. I'll give her a 5 minute warning and invite her to join the conversation. I'm sure that won't go over well.
I have come to learn that most people have no good basis for how a marriage is supposed to be. My parents and her parents have been together for over 40 years. However, their relationships leave much to be desired. Longevity isn't the sign of a good marriage. My 13 year marriage (one month from today) sure isn't healthy.
Our children are 7 (son) and our daughters are 9 and 10. I believe I will sit them down tomorrow night after I tell her no more contact with him and tell them what is going on. I'll give her a 5 minute warning and invite her to join the conversation. I'm sure that won't go over well.
You are on the right track.
Do not water down the words when you speak to your children, say their mother is cheating & committing adultery with another man and name him.
You are there for them to answer their questions and support them, they are not stupid they know something is wrong.
Hang in there you will need every ounce of strength you can muster and do not listen to her lies, she may choose to say things about you that are wholly untrue , keep firm and consistent.
Do not water down the words when you speak to your children, say their mother is cheating & committing adultery with another man and name him.
You are there for them to answer their questions and support them, they are not stupid they know something is wrong.
Hang in there you will need every ounce of strength you can muster and do not listen to her lies, she may choose to say things about you that are wholly untrue , keep firm and consistent.
When you confront her, and she refuses to stop, your next step is to expose the affair to her family and his family.
I still go back and forth on the exposing, my husband didn't agree with how I chose to tell our kids why I kicked daddy out, (that was just a week ago, he's home now, and so far no evidence of contact), I do believe he is being honest....but anyways....the eldest purposely eavesdropped on me, so I had no choice to tell her the current situation, she doesn't know the knitty gritty...I do believe that some content is necessary to help our girls know what is going on. I have made it quite clear that we are BOTH at fault by the way.
How can kids learn not to cheat if you don't tell them it's wrong? Especially if cheating is breaking up their family.
Not too good, paramore. This weekend went pretty much as expected. I went to my parents' Friday night. I watched her chat with him until about 1:30 in the morning. She set it up with him to chat again from 11:00 to 3:30 on Saturday. I got some of that before I had to take the kids to a skating party. My niece took over and copied the rest of the transcripts. I haven't seen all of that yet. I hope for my niece's sake it didn't get too ugly.
She had to get off the game at 3:30 so she could get ready for our date. It started fairly well. We went to see a movie. However, when we got home, she got on Spadester. I yanked the power cord to the modem and gave her the letter I had prepared for Sunday evening. I expected her to get on then, instead of Saturday night after our "date". She went out and called him again.
I have the transcripts and the phone records. I told her last night she has 5 minutes and I'm telling the kids about her affair. I sat them down on the couch to tell them. She said, "What you are doing is foolish." I said, "No. What you are doing is foolish." I just told the kids that we both love them very much.
I told my wife after that, "No contact for life with that man. If there is any contact, the kids get the whole story. If this adulterous affair (Thanks Eli-zor for this wording. She hates it!) is so wonderful that you absolutely must continue it, then you should want to shout it from the rooftop."
The modem is hidden currently. I am debating over whether to just cancel the internet or go with a keylogger. I have the sole access to her cell phone online records.
This man threatened to hit a man in the head with a hammer at work because the man touched him. "I don't like to be touched." Even after he told her that, she continued her chat with him. I am considering going to the police to file a restraining order against him. He is apparently a violent man and I don't want him anywhere near my family. He has no criminal history, at least my $70 investment didn't find any. However, his chat about hitting a man in the head with a hammer seems to me like I should be able to get a restraining order to protect my family. Is that an option?
She had to get off the game at 3:30 so she could get ready for our date. It started fairly well. We went to see a movie. However, when we got home, she got on Spadester. I yanked the power cord to the modem and gave her the letter I had prepared for Sunday evening. I expected her to get on then, instead of Saturday night after our "date". She went out and called him again.
I have the transcripts and the phone records. I told her last night she has 5 minutes and I'm telling the kids about her affair. I sat them down on the couch to tell them. She said, "What you are doing is foolish." I said, "No. What you are doing is foolish." I just told the kids that we both love them very much.
I told my wife after that, "No contact for life with that man. If there is any contact, the kids get the whole story. If this adulterous affair (Thanks Eli-zor for this wording. She hates it!) is so wonderful that you absolutely must continue it, then you should want to shout it from the rooftop."
The modem is hidden currently. I am debating over whether to just cancel the internet or go with a keylogger. I have the sole access to her cell phone online records.
This man threatened to hit a man in the head with a hammer at work because the man touched him. "I don't like to be touched." Even after he told her that, she continued her chat with him. I am considering going to the police to file a restraining order against him. He is apparently a violent man and I don't want him anywhere near my family. He has no criminal history, at least my $70 investment didn't find any. However, his chat about hitting a man in the head with a hammer seems to me like I should be able to get a restraining order to protect my family. Is that an option?
No. It's not. Generally, a restraining order is issued as protection against repeat violence. In some cases you can be granted a restraining order if direct documented threats have been made against you. But, not always & that isn't easy to get. (I know first hand).
How did the exposure to her father work ?
Of course, she hated it. I told him the day after I witnessed the chat. I told him she ends it that day or we are finished. That is the day she got on and told him it was over. I told him that night that she had ended it. I have not yet disclosed to him that she only went 2 days without contact.
She did call her brother and talk to him a while yesterday. Of course, I could only hear her side of the conversation. It was clear that he was telling her that it wasn't all me. Of course, she was making me out to be a monster. He wasn't having it and apparently was telling her she was in the wrong.
Spadester is gone. For now, the internet is gone. I'll decide whether to keep it or not as time goes by. The venom spewed last night was indeed horrible. She does not want the kids to know. She also knows that I will tell them if she contacts him again. Maybe I will anyway.
She had something she was holding over my head. That threat has been dealt with. She can no longer hold it over my head. One day at a time. I'll ignore the venom for a while and see how it goes.
She did call her brother and talk to him a while yesterday. Of course, I could only hear her side of the conversation. It was clear that he was telling her that it wasn't all me. Of course, she was making me out to be a monster. He wasn't having it and apparently was telling her she was in the wrong.
Spadester is gone. For now, the internet is gone. I'll decide whether to keep it or not as time goes by. The venom spewed last night was indeed horrible. She does not want the kids to know. She also knows that I will tell them if she contacts him again. Maybe I will anyway.
She had something she was holding over my head. That threat has been dealt with. She can no longer hold it over my head. One day at a time. I'll ignore the venom for a while and see how it goes.
Good for you man, keep on keepin on. Unfortunately, time is the only thing you have right now. Keep taking things day by day, I know it's HARD. Take care of yourself. I am just trying to do things day by day, as I am not a very patient person, (another thing I need to work on myself for lol), you are finally taking charge, and she doesn't like it.
Yeah, you gotta follow through for sure, I know it's easy to go back and forth. I've been there man, I see you are gathering evidence, that's good. I think I misread up above, I thought you had told the kids what was going on.
Evidence. I wasn't only watching, I was copying and saving. I have serious doubts that this will work out. For now, I will put up with the venom since everyone says it is an addiction. Maybe I should have gone ahead and told the kids last night. She knows that wasn't a threat. I fully expect her to contact him in the next day or two.
She did own me. I had to let her think that a little longer to get some stuff taken care of. That is over and done. No more blackmail. Nothing she can hang over my head. I have a large scratch on my face from where she attacked me this weekend. I took a picture this time. I also made a point to show my brother-in-law at my daughter's birthday party and gave him the story. He went through an affair with his first wife.
The ducks are in a row for the stick. Yes, the angry outbursts have to stop in order to present a carrot. I was prepared for her to get back on Sunday. I was totally thrown off guard that she would have the nerve to get on there Saturday night after our "date". Since then, I have handled the venom without angry outbursts.
She did own me. I had to let her think that a little longer to get some stuff taken care of. That is over and done. No more blackmail. Nothing she can hang over my head. I have a large scratch on my face from where she attacked me this weekend. I took a picture this time. I also made a point to show my brother-in-law at my daughter's birthday party and gave him the story. He went through an affair with his first wife.
The ducks are in a row for the stick. Yes, the angry outbursts have to stop in order to present a carrot. I was prepared for her to get back on Sunday. I was totally thrown off guard that she would have the nerve to get on there Saturday night after our "date". Since then, I have handled the venom without angry outbursts.
- Status
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
-
?
