[Decorum]

Trusting is having faith in the expected.

When the expected changes, so does that trust.

GD's trust shifted away from her being loyal to him.

It shifted from her being loyal to him, to her being loyal to her superior.

The trust never really disappeared, it merely morphed.

We witnessed that transfer of assets from his trust fund.

Her arrears went into McDik's asset column.

That is so spot on, and often not perceived, that the fundamental shift is one of loyalty.

 

[SRCSRC]

Unless it’s in the prenup, I believe she’s entitled to half the full value of the house upon marriage. Matrimonial home is treated differently than other property here.

In my jurisdiction, if one spouse owned the house free and clear before marriage and remained as the sole name on the deed, the house remains as that spouse's separate property. The other party might establish an interest in any improvements made to the house if community assets are used. It is a reasonable approach and I suspect that Canadian law might follow that same reasoning. But, clearly, GD's attorney knows best.

 

[Decorum]

Hi everyone

I am checking in really quickly, but wasn’t planning to, as I have too much on my plate right now—literally and mentally. But I have managed to read all the comments since my last post; thank you EVERY ONE OF YOU for EVERYthing. Seriously.

I am doing a lot better today than I was on Monday night. No alcohol. Will hit the gym this Friday and throughout the weekend. My lawyer has, in my opinion, a superb plan. I am not going to share it yet. There are MANY variables in play because of the huge complexity created by my wife’s pregnancy. After having mapped out my sexual activity with my wife in January and February (which, I assure you, was one of the world’s saddest and most succinct maps, haha), I am now close to 99% certainty that it is McD’s child and not mine. My lawyer is consulting with, essentially, some of the foremost experts in the field of Family Law in Canada just to confirm his / our approach around the added paternity issue.

Two big things I would say:

One, I am disappointed that some of you are now arguing amongst yourselves. I respect each of you for what you bring, and I read every word that is posted on here. All of it is helpful. That said, I have a really, really top lawyer; and there is NO question now that there is only one approach for me: “Less Is More.” PLEASE do not worry that I am going to do ANYthing stupid with my wife. I am protecting myself in EVERY way that any of you have kindly suggested. But there will be no discussion or confrontation from me to her now, and possibly ... never again. In the grand tradition of this thread, where many of you seem to have an almost clairvoyant-like ability to see my future before me, haha, I can tell you that you should re-read Kaliber's post yesterday (from what I can see: post # 1,033) because his story is very close to what my lawyer is suggesting / building a plan upon. However ... the pregnancy does complicate it.

Two, I have now come to the conclusion that my wife and McD really haven’t a clue that I know anything. Worse, they are so arrogant about everything that part of me also believes that, even if they do think I suspect something, they think I am too weak / passive / afraid to do all, or even just a few, of the things I have been doing.

Also, I just realized two days ago that there is a personal message section here (duh), and saw many notes left for me. I am sorry that I haven’t really responded there yet, and I simply don’t have the time now, but I will eventually try to do so – if nothing than to lend a personal thanks to anyone who has written in.

Finally: I came home last night. My wife was warm to me, and actually quite respectful about how much she hurt me by her ILYBNILWY, and said she understood why I have needed all this time and space from her. We kept conversation to truly just that ... so, about 2-3 minutes. She offered to sleep in one of our guest bedrooms, and I accepted gratefully. This morning, she texted me at work to say she is feeling ‘very unwell’ and will go to stay at her mother’s for some tlc, etc, through until Monday at least. I am not sure how to read this, and my PI, who is still doing important work—but now around McD (and TRUST ME, this is where my lawyer is brilliant, and where my lawyer and PI are working so well together)—anyway … my PI will also do some soft investigation to confirm my wife is at her mother’s.

I actually feel … light … today. Okay … maybe more like: ‘empty’. But I see a way forward: a simple way, an elegant way, and one where my retribution will be simple and clean. I do believe that taking an openly vengeful route carries with it the great possibility of even greater collateral damage. Confucius’s Seek revenge, and you should dig two graves—one for yourself has always spoken to me, so for those here hoping for fireworks --now or in the future-- .. you probably won’t see them.

Good people of TAM: you are the best. Don’t fight with each other. You are all really helping this man.

Fighting with each other is a time honored tradition here at TAM during the lulls, its ok we sweep all the sand back into the play area when we are done.

 

[Decorum]

@GreenDragon , a friend of mine told me a story about his friend who is an executive in a large IT corporation, his friend's WW (wayward wife) was an executive in another large corporation who had an affair with her boss, the company's CEO!
He was 43 and his wife was 37, the CEO was 55.
Like in your case, the CEO was tall and very attractive and in a very good shape and physic!
The CEO was banging the wayward wife for 4 years in their house on their bed!

He divorced her and she left the marriage of 15 years with only her cloths!
How did he do it?!

So this man, the betrayed, felt something was off with his wife for months, and like you he installed VARs and hired a PI.. a week later he had all the evidence and heard everything on the VAR installed in their bedroom.
he heard, the sex, the wife asking the AP to finish inside her, screaming (Fill that f****g married p****y), he heard the CEO humiliating him (the husband) while they were in the act, at one point he tells her that you guys are trying for a baby, I just might get you pregnant, and she responded by yes, I want your baby, my womb is yours, breed me baby..
He wished that he didn't listen to the VAR because the PI's evidence was more than enough (pictures and videos).

It's like a switch flipped in him, he hated his wife, listening to the VAR was the switch, he had no prenup, so he decided to try something different and took advice from his lawyer to try it, if it didn't work they can revert back to the normal divorce proceedings maybe with some leverage, and there is no harm in trying this new approach!

He DID NOT confront his wife, his wife doesn't know anything yet, she doesn't know that the husband found out about the affair, what he did, he immediately called the CEO (the affair partner), and told him everything and what type of evidence he has, dates and where all sex happened, and what was said when they were having sex, and gave him this option:
He will not expose the affair and will sign an NDA with the lawyers (his, the CEO's and his wayward wife's) only if she leaves everything and walks out of the marriage with her cloths only!
The CEO keeps his job, she keeps her job and their reputation intact, no one know anything, all win/win!

If you know the corporate world, a CEO who gets caught in such a scandal it is basically the end for their career and most likely their family union (their wives will take them to the cleaners)!
It also applies to high executives as will (like his wayward wife)

It's a vey good deal for the CEO, he will lose nothing if the wayward wife agrees. so he agreed, and agreed he will talk with her and convince her!

The CEO makes the call, and breaks the news to her!
He tells her what evidence her husband has!
He tells her that this is the best deal, or else it will be the end of their careers especially hers, since she is young and God knows what type of jobs she can land in the future, it will be a disaster for both of them if she doesn't, but way more for her than him since he still has a lot of money, and he can simply retire and easily move to a different city/country, but not her, she is still building her future, he advised her not to refuse or else she lose everything that she built and worked for throughout the years, and she must not tell anyone not even her family, and this is the only chance where they can survive this!

Of course she was blindsided, her world collapsed, she knows having a shot in building a family and having kids is thrown out the window and probably for ever, not to mention her reputation.. Finding someone like her husband who is an executive himself and maybe becoming a CEO one day is impossible!

The betrayed husband phone blows up, text, calls, but no reply from him.. complete silence, he completely ghosted her!
She was trying to save her marriage (cake eat) but it didn't work, later the husband found that this was by far the hardest part for her (the ghosting like she doesn't exist)
At the end she agrees to the deal!
The lawyers calculated the assets she will be getting in the divorce, and when the divorce is final she has to pay the exact amount back as a settlement in cash or in assets!

They all meet up at the betrayed husband lawyers office to sign the NDAs, they had to stop the meeting and take breaks a couple of times because the wife was in a bad state wasting most of the meeting trying to talk to her soon to be ex-husband and trying to save her marriage at the last minute, he refused and doesn't even look at her or talks to her.. she collapses and cry, rinse and repeat!

After the NDA singed by the betrayed husband, they start the divorce process like normal, using irreconcilable differences as the reason, and when the divorce was final, she returned all the cash and assets that was given to her by the court to her ex-husband!

Thus, walking out of the marriage with only her cloths!

Is it truthful?
Well I hope my friend wasn't lying to me, I have known him for years!

@GreenDragon maybe you can get some ideas from it, talk to your lawyer, you never know!

What you guys think, such thing can work in GD case?

Wow, that's sublime.

 

[SunCMars]

Fighting with each other is a time honored tradition here at TAM during the lulls, its ok we sweep all the sand back into the play area when we are done.

Aye!

Yet, some of that sand sticks to our feet.

While most can be brushed away, some still remains between our toes.

That sandy toe-jam then lands on our bed sheets, keeping us awake.

Awake and annoyed.

Some of that bad sand sticks to us and we then annoy our TAM keepers.

And then that irritating sand ends up getting us banned.

While the band and the cheaters play on.

 

[1Autumn72]

In my jurisdiction, if one spouse owned the house free and clear before marriage and remained as the sole name on the deed, the house remains as that spouse's separate property. The other party might establish an interest in any improvements made to the house if community assets are used. It is a reasonable approach and I suspect that Canadian law might follow that same reasoning. But, clearly, GD's attorney knows best.

Canadian law and “reasonable” in the same sentence…lol…try figuring out if you can carry a small pocket knife legally here…gravity…spring…centrifugal assistance…😵‍💫

 

[Decorum]

Aye!

Yet, some of that sand sticks to our feet.

While most can be brushed away, some still remains between our toes.

That sandy toe-jam then lands on our bed sheets, keeping us awake.

Awake and annoyed.

Some of that bad sand sticks to us and we then annoy our TAM keepers.

And then that irritating sand ends up getting us banned.

While the band and the cheaters play on.

Where comes the song heard in your verse, many a ban was for the worse. To live to fight another day, to help a friend along the way, this is a gift to a good student who amidst the play can still be prudent.

 

[Trident]

I hope this is an inexpensive divorce for OP. A private investigator isn't cheap but will probably save him bigtime in the end, and of course he has all the answers to what has been going on.

GD has plenty of money, he said as much. He can afford to pay for an expensive attorney, PI and go on retreats. He even read his attorney all of his posts on here. There's absolutely nothing to worry about.

 

[Decorum]

Mr Green Dragon,
There seems to be no limit to what their conscience will allow them to compartmentalize. It's disturbing, despicable, and appalling. Their soul is a black hole, and the compass needle spins. Unbelievable!

I hope you will not mind if I make one speculation, even though you thought it pointless.

When I read McD's recommendation to keep the baby if it's yours, I felt that he wants to keep your wife as a side-piece, and not the main event. He would take any opportunity to lower her expectations of him.

He is slick and he gaslit her well. He knows if she keeps your baby, and you catch her she is less likely to lower her cannon and shoot a hole in her own boat, thinking she could just swim over to his and climb aboard.

He has no respect for her either.

You may see your soon to be ex's life at risk from her own hand in the near future.

I'm so sorry you are facing this. For the most part infidelity really is about the character of the cheater.

 

[Jay Bee]

GD has plenty of money, he said as much. He can afford to pay for an expensive attorney, PI and go on retreats. He even read his attorney all of his posts on here. There's absolutely nothing to worry about.

Would be nice to have that kind of money... But I hope he doesn't waste too much on lawyer fees. Just get it over and done with as quick as possible.

 

[DonJuan]

Done and done.

You should get caught up before posting, lol. A lot has developed since the OP.

PI and VAR found
Wife cheating with boss
Pregnant, 99% sure with boss's baby
May be getting an abortion as we speak to hide it.

My bad

 

[Rubix Cubed]

You may see your soon to be ex's life at risk from her own hand in the near future.

I'm not sure her arrogance and narcissism would let that happen. Her opinion of herself may be too high for that.

 

[Northern.Guy]

I'm not sure her arrogance and narcissism would let that happen. Her opinion of herself may be too high for that.

Abortion pills can be fatal for mom too.

 

[Decorum]

I'm not sure her arrogance and narcissism would let that happen. Her opinion of herself may be too high for that.

We have both seen the threads where this happens. I have seen the narc who considers her husband her "rock".

This woman is potentially losing both men in her life, and her current financial security on the heels of terminating her pregnancy, and the SeaChange of emotions that go with it.

Narc or not I think a word of caution to Mr. GreenDragon is in order.

Rubix Cubed it's been a while, I hope things are well with you?

 

[oldshirt]

[

When I read McD's recommendation to keep the baby if it's yours, I felt that he wants to keep your wife as a side-piece, and not the main event. He would take any opportunity to lower her expectations of him.

He is slick and he gaslit her well. He knows if she keeps your baby, and you catch her she is less likely to lower her cannon and shoot a hole in her own boat, thinking she could just swim over to his and climb aboard.

He has no respect for her either.

This is the vast majority of OM. Very few OM actually want to take the WW away to have for themselves full time.

If McD had wanted her for himself and have a life with her fulltime, he would have sent Barbie packing and made the offer for WW to leave GD and move into his McMansion to be with him.

While his suggestion to terminate the pregnacy if it is his and to keep on trucking if the child is GD's may seem shocking to some, it is actually pretty standard narative for very many OM.

OM get with WW's so they don't have to deal with babies and domestic chores and such. If there is going to be a child out of an affair, the OM will either want it to simply go away or to have the BH deal with it and take care of it and pay for it.

If McD wanted WW fulltime, he would have simply taken her.

 

[drpod]

You’re taking this the wrong way. I was responding to Fire, hadn’t seen your post when I did, and don’t think your life is in danger. That being said.

Crimes of passion do happen.

To keep all possibilities in mind, which some here summarily dismisss out of hand. My brother was murdered by his friend, a guy we’d known since we were 10 years old, over what - some meaningless stupid beef, no money, no women involved. Said friend ended up dead in prison 8 years later. I found out how, much later. That was a surprise too.

But there is no crime here.

why would a court subpoena a confidential medical record for a medical procedure that is legal and protected by law (I’m assuming abortion has legal protections in Canada)

proof of an abortion is not required to secure a divorce and I doubt if this prenup has any stipulations regarding abortion so there would be no purpose in issuing a subpoena.

there are a lot of hoops and hurdles and federal red tape to subpoena medical records in actual criminal cases.

issuing a subpoena of confidential medical records of a consenting adult fooling around with her boss at work is not realistic.

It is not about the abortion. GD's lawyers wants them to set both of them up to lie in pre- trial questioning or commit acts that can cause possible professional misconduct. It's the lies that will get them in trouble not the deed not the deed. The affair is publicly embarrassing but not illegal.

 

[oldshirt]

It is not about the abortion. GD's lawyers wants them to set both of them up to lie in pre- trial questioning or commit acts that can cause possible professional misconduct. It's the lies that will get them in trouble not the deed not the deed. The affair is publicly embarrassing but not illegal.

They tried that with Bill Clinton when he was sticking cigars up Monica Lewinski's hoohaah in the oval office but no one cared. They had him dead-to-rights perjuring himself saying he wasn't fooling around in the white house when she produced the spew stained dress that came back with his DNA.

They tried to impeach him on perjury for lying about it,,,, but the rest of the world just saw it as a man of power and status diddling the secretary and men of power and status diddle the secretary all the time...... and then they lie about it. It's old news and no one cares.

My point here is there are children starving in Africa and puppies that have fallen into storm drains. No one really cares that some senior partner in a law firm is diddling the secretary because frankly pretty much all senior partners diddle secretaries and then find ways to defect and skirt around the issues when asked about it.

There for yes, it may be possible to subpoena medical records that indicate the secretary sought medical care for an abortion and F. Lee Bailey and Perry Mason other legal eagles could perhaps scheme that into getting someone to tell a fib.

But from a court's perspective, is the juice going to be worth the squeeze?

Is there going to be enough in the COURT'S interests to make a legal demand of obtaining federally protected confidential health information (I am assuming Canada has a system similar to HIPPA to protect people's confidential health information) on the "chance" that senior partner will tell a lie about diddling the secretary?

And what exactly is the consequences for a senior partner of a law firm fibbing about diddling the secretary??? Are we talking high crimes and misdemeanors here?

Again, if we had lawyers being slapped with professional misconduct charges and disbarred etc for diddling the secretary, we'd have no lawyers.

But Olshirt, it's not about diddling the secretary, it's about lying about it!" you say.

To that I say see my point above. It's part of the fabric of the world. It's basically expected. and when push comes to shove, no one actually cares. At least they don't care enough to start handing out subpoenas to dredge up abortion records of full grown adults engaging in mutually consensual sexual activities and legal medical procedures.

"can" they do it? Yes.

Will they do it? That depends on if a judge even sees the point.

 

[SRCSRC]

They tried that with Bill Clinton when he was sticking cigars up Monica Lewinski's hoohaah in the oval office but no one cared. They had him dead-to-rights perjuring himself saying he wasn't fooling around in the white house when she produced the spew stained dress that came back with his DNA.

They tried to impeach him on perjury for lying about it,,,, but the rest of the world just saw it as a man of power and status diddling the secretary and men of power and status diddle the secretary all the time...... and then they lie about it. It's old news and no one cares.

My point here is there are children starving in Africa and puppies that have fallen into storm drains. No one really cares that some senior partner in a law firm is diddling the secretary because frankly pretty much all senior partners diddle secretaries and then find ways to defect and skirt around the issues when asked about it.

There for yes, it may be possible to subpoena medical records that indicate the secretary sought medical care for an abortion and F. Lee Bailey and Perry Mason other legal eagles could perhaps scheme that into getting someone to tell a fib.

But from a court's perspective, is the juice going to be worth the squeeze?

Is there going to be enough in the COURT'S interests to make a legal demand of obtaining federally protected confidential health information (I am assuming Canada has a system similar to HIPPA to protect people's confidential health information) on the "chance" that senior partner will tell a lie about diddling the secretary?

And what exactly is the consequences for a senior partner of a law firm fibbing about diddling the secretary??? Are we talking high crimes and misdemeanors here?

Again, if we had lawyers being slapped with professional misconduct charges and disbarred etc for diddling the secretary, we'd have no lawyers.

But Olshirt, it's not about diddling the secretary, it's about lying about it!" you say.

To that I say see my point above. It's part of the fabric of the world. It's basically expected. and when push comes to shove, no one actually cares. At least they don't care enough to start handing out subpoenas to dredge up abortion records of full grown adults engaging in mutually consensual sexual activities and legal medical procedures.

"can" they do it? Yes.

Will they do it? That depends on if a judge even sees the point.

Clinton did have his Bar license suspended in Arkansas due to lying under oath. He has never applied to have it reinstated. He also resigned from practicing before the U.S. Supreme Court. Canadian law and the Canadian Bar are different so I wouldn't attempt to speculate on the legal consequences awaiting the POSOM if he purges himself under oath. Unless the WW attempts to fight the prenuptial agreement, I don't see how POSOM could be called to testify under oath unless there is some sort of civil remedy that GD decides to pursue. In many jurisdictions in the U.S., the WW would have a credible sexual harassment case against the POSOM and her employer. She would have to get her head out of her ass. She could present a case where she was groomed by the senior partner and that she felt intimidated, at some point in the affair, to continue with her sordid behavior. That might be the best way to inflict the most harm on the POSOM. But it would take WW's cooperation. GD should still divorce the skank even if WW goes after the POSOM and her employer.

 

[oldshirt]

Clinton did have his Bar license suspended in Arkansas due to lying under oath. He has never applied to have it reinstated. He also resigned from practicing before the U.S. Supreme Court. Canadian law and the Canadian Bar are different so I wouldn't attempt to speculate on the legal consequences awaiting the POSOM if he purges himself under oath. Unless the WW attempts to fight the prenuptial agreement, I don't see how POSOM could be called to testify under oath unless there is some sort of civil remedy that GD decides to pursue. In many jurisdictions in the U.S., the WW would have a credible sexual harassment case against the POSOM and her employer. She would have to get her head out of her ass. She could present a case where she was groomed by the senior partner and that she felt intimidated, at some point in the affair, to continue with her sordid behavior. That might be the best way to inflict the most harm on the POSOM. But it would take WW's cooperation. GD should still divorce the skank even if WW goes after the POSOM and her employer.

You're kind of talking about two different things here.

GB divorcing his wife is one issue.

Her having some kind of workplace grievance over sexual harassment is something completely different. Medical record documentation of an abortion would not provide proof of her having an affair and an abortion in a consenting adult is legal so it’s doubtful a judge would issue a subpoena for her medical records regarding an abortion in order to invoke a prenup stipulation on adultery.

And her having some form of “Me Too” or workplace sexual harassment claim is a completely different issue separate of GD’s case of adultery.

If she did claim sexual harassment and she wanted to present an abortion as some kind of evidence for harassment ( I’m spit balling here but whatever) then she could voluntarily obtain her records on her own and no subpoena would be required.

 

[Decorum]

The best time to have her served will be after the abortion if it's McD'd. It kind of ruins the incentive of an NDA if she keeps the baby and goes after him.

If she wants kids and realizes her husband is out she may not want to abort.

McD wantes her in dreamland where she still believes she will have children with Mr. GreenDragon.

I suppose he would take her through several abortions, if necessary. Terminate his offspring, lol. What a loathsome lout.