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'Thank you for been positive I agree that not everything is lost and if you believe in something enough it is worth fighting for.
I can feel your pain. This was me 10 years ago when my wife wanted 'space' and walked out, denied contact. She kept coming back and forth for 9 months. I didn't want to believe she was seeing another and aimed to resolve whatever issue that wasn't being communicated. I wanted to make things ok again, fix the problem, not give up on the relationship. She came back for good, we had counselling where we discovered she didn't communicate and we got back together. At counselling, I wanted to know if she had been unfaithful, as others on these types of forums told me that this was usual behaviour of an affair - she promised faithfully that she hadn't.

I was treading on eggshells for 5 years after she came back, wondering if I was acting ok, if I was being attentive enough, kind enough, nice enough. I worried each day for that long, if I would come home from work and find her gone again - a common occurrence during those 9 lonely dark months. After 5 years I decided I could trust her again fully and that she would stay.

Now it's been 10 years we have been back together and everything has been fine, a brilliant relationship. A little over 2 weeks ago she started acting a bit off. The way she kissed me wasn't right. That week it all changed and her behaviour of lies and deceit started again - exactly the same process as before. A few days later she was gone again, claiming to want a couple of days space. On the afternoon she was supposed to be coming home, she text me that she wasn't coming back and said she had feelings for somebody else. Her clothes are still here, everything is still here apart from important paperwork. 19 years of relationship, 11 years of marriage, gone in a blink of a text message - a text message after all that time. No word of any issue did she mention at any time. No nagging, no nothing. Week 3 and her clothes are still here. Probably been building up a wardrobe of the months/years of planning she has been doing to leave. Waiting for the time to be right when they could both be together, I suspect. Acting as if everything is perfect between us, every - single - day.

I cast my mind back those 10 years as I once again witness the exact same behaviour (Walkaway Wife Syndrome) and with her admittance this time that she is with another, can now clearly see that that was also probably also true back then.

I too wanted to fix the relationship, I thought I had, I thought we had. But now it's gone again, she's gone. It is likely that it could be the same guy and it is likely that they have been seeing each other for all these years. Who knows.

She now wants a divorce.

Nothing I did. Nothing I didn't do, apart from I cannot work due to ill-health. It's the way she is. She left somebody straight for me and she left somebody for him. Her father is similar.

Just my experience and it's still raw and sorting out loads of stuff. I am deeply sorry for your pain. I wish you well.
 

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@lifeistooshort that's a judgemental generalisation. No one really knows what happens behind closed doors in a relationship. They may be true romantics, old fashioned people who treated their partner like a queen only to be made her servant and looked down upon as worthless. The poster was just making a point that in duels and jousts knights made a code of conduct and then espoused it as right and proper for the masses however in reality people behave according to how they feel. Those feelings change over time.
Speaking as a Moderator:

I am going to make one final comment on it, then the thread jack stops, in order to reinforce the rule set.

How honor came about is not in question. Espousing that women are incapable of honor is a ridiculous assertion, and will earn the person who posted it a well deserved ban.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk
 

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Nothing I did. Nothing I didn't do, apart from I cannot work due to ill-health. It's the way she is. She left somebody straight for me and she left somebody for him. Her father is similar.

Just my experience and it's still raw and sorting out loads of stuff. I am deeply sorry for your pain. I wish you well.
That was heavy! That was really heavy. I sincerely am sorry for your pain as well. Sometimes, you can do all of the right things... do it correctly, and still lose out. There are so many of us who have this same type of story to tell, me included. I do hope that you are able to find resolution and that your health can improve.
 

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That was heavy! That was really heavy. I sincerely am sorry for your pain as well. Sometimes, you can do all of the right things... do it correctly, and still lose out. There are so many of us who have this same type of story to tell, me included. I do hope that you are able to find resolution and that your health can improve.
I didn't mean to be heavy, just how it is I suppose. I started a thread here myself a day or so ago and I can see the patterning a little clearer as I read other people's stories. I'm actually astounded how many women are leaving their husbands and the behaviours seem all so similar to my experience. I don't know why these women ever marry if they aren't intending to be faithful. Or, they are intending to be faithful but then when someone else comes along, they leave. Never live on their own - always one to the next, to the next. Where does this come from? Why is is so common? GIGS (Grass is Greener Syndrome)?
Cheers for your comment (didn't want to hijack the post!)
 

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If you keep reading, you’ll be astounded at how even the phrases people say are identical. It’s been said it’s “cheaterscript”, which is accurate. Human behavior is very predictable.
I was told things my cheating wife would say. Like “it was never physical”.
ilybinilwy....., All this stuff is crazy similar.
 

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If you keep reading, you’ll be astounded at how even the phrases people say are identical. It’s been said it’s “cheaterscript”, which is accurate. Human behavior is very predictable.
I was told things my cheating wife would say. Like “it was never physical”.
ilybinilwy....., All this stuff is crazy similar.
It's so strange. Women always want "Space" too. It's the sudden change of behaviour and their willingness to suddenly tell so many lies, straight to your face that astounds me. My wife said anything to give the illusion it was all going to be ok. That she'd be back after a couple of days. All to keep me placid enough to let her walk out the door.

I hope the guy that started this thread is alright.
 
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