I can feel your pain. This was me 10 years ago when my wife wanted 'space' and walked out, denied contact. She kept coming back and forth for 9 months. I didn't want to believe she was seeing another and aimed to resolve whatever issue that wasn't being communicated. I wanted to make things ok again, fix the problem, not give up on the relationship. She came back for good, we had counselling where we discovered she didn't communicate and we got back together. At counselling, I wanted to know if she had been unfaithful, as others on these types of forums told me that this was usual behaviour of an affair - she promised faithfully that she hadn't.'Thank you for been positive I agree that not everything is lost and if you believe in something enough it is worth fighting for.
I was treading on eggshells for 5 years after she came back, wondering if I was acting ok, if I was being attentive enough, kind enough, nice enough. I worried each day for that long, if I would come home from work and find her gone again - a common occurrence during those 9 lonely dark months. After 5 years I decided I could trust her again fully and that she would stay.
Now it's been 10 years we have been back together and everything has been fine, a brilliant relationship. A little over 2 weeks ago she started acting a bit off. The way she kissed me wasn't right. That week it all changed and her behaviour of lies and deceit started again - exactly the same process as before. A few days later she was gone again, claiming to want a couple of days space. On the afternoon she was supposed to be coming home, she text me that she wasn't coming back and said she had feelings for somebody else. Her clothes are still here, everything is still here apart from important paperwork. 19 years of relationship, 11 years of marriage, gone in a blink of a text message - a text message after all that time. No word of any issue did she mention at any time. No nagging, no nothing. Week 3 and her clothes are still here. Probably been building up a wardrobe of the months/years of planning she has been doing to leave. Waiting for the time to be right when they could both be together, I suspect. Acting as if everything is perfect between us, every - single - day.
I cast my mind back those 10 years as I once again witness the exact same behaviour (Walkaway Wife Syndrome) and with her admittance this time that she is with another, can now clearly see that that was also probably also true back then.
I too wanted to fix the relationship, I thought I had, I thought we had. But now it's gone again, she's gone. It is likely that it could be the same guy and it is likely that they have been seeing each other for all these years. Who knows.
She now wants a divorce.
Nothing I did. Nothing I didn't do, apart from I cannot work due to ill-health. It's the way she is. She left somebody straight for me and she left somebody for him. Her father is similar.
Just my experience and it's still raw and sorting out loads of stuff. I am deeply sorry for your pain. I wish you well.