[horsechick]

I am new to this site, I don't know where else to turn for advice or at least to talk about this problem.
I have been married to my current husband for 8 years. this is my third marriage I am 58 years old and do love my husband. The problem is I let my daughter move in when she lost her job(to help her back on her feet) Now he is wanting me to choose between her an him. I love my daughter and don't think she can make it without my help. My husband says he wants her out and my grand kids cant come over at all. He is not the same man I married. not violent or abusive but very mean to everybody, he has made it clear he wants nothing to do with my family. I am at my wits end crying all night long, he moved into the guest bedroom last night.
Don't know what to do love both of them but dont want to lose either of them.

 

[zookeeper]

Did you discuss the daughter moving in with him before it happened or did you just give her a key and tell her to get her things?

Also, you don't say how long she has been in your home or what plans have been discussed for her to get back out on her own. What about it?

 

[horsechick]

Sorry I am so nervous, yes we talked about it and he actually agreed to letting her move in. I have been in my house when we got married, I have lived her for 24 years. My daughter just needs to get her bill in order she was out of work for a year and got quite far behind.

 

[Toffer]

Always remember that your daughter will always be your daughter.

Perhaps as a compromise you can discuss a target date for her move out

 

[PBear]

How long has your daughter being staying there? What kind of relationship do they have? Has your daughter been making progress to getting back on her feet?

This is not just your house now, but his home too. If I came home every day to a snarky, lazy young person who just rattled my chops while they played video games instead of looking for a job for the last 6 months, I'd be pretty ticked too. Not saying your daughter is like that at all, just saying that my acceptance of the situation would be conditional. Heck, I wouldn't even let my own kids take advantage of me that way, much less someone else's kids.

And while your daughter will always be your daughter, she'll be moving out hopefully sooner rather than later. At that point, who will be your source of love and support?

C
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