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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I's like to ask the ladies' opinions on something. I realize it will only be a "guess," I understand that, but I'm interested in opinions.

I'm in my 50s, and when I read women's dating profiles, it reads like I'm signing up for an adventure camp or they are trying out for an action movie. Everybody is looking for adventure. They love kayaking, travel, camping, hiking, beach, exploring, trying new things, etc. I'm starting to believe that listing kayaking is a requirement for having an account.

My question is, do you think these are genuine profiles? I'm not saying they are necessarily creating a fake profile, but maybe they are just trying to not seem boring. Maybe they went kayaking once and liked it, so they put that as if it's their hobby? Does nobody have a job or everyday duties they have to perform anymore? Does nobody like watching Netflix and relaxing after a week's work?
 

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I's like to ask the ladies' opinions on something. I realize it will only be a "guess," I understand that, but I'm interested in opinions.

I'm in my 50s, and when I read women's dating profiles, it reads like I'm signing up for an adventure camp or they are trying out for an action movie. Everybody is looking for adventure. They love kayaking, travel, camping, hiking, beach, exploring, trying new things, etc. I'm starting to believe that listing kayaking is a requirement for having an account.

My question is, do you think these are genuine profiles? I'm not saying they are necessarily creating a fake profile, but maybe they are just trying to not seem boring. Maybe they went kayaking once and liked it, so they put that as if it's their hobby? Does nobody have a job or everyday duties they have to perform anymore? Does nobody like watching Netflix and relaxing after a week's work?
I think that most people want others to think that they are exciting and adventurous. Maybe they think it will get them more attention.
I would understand that more for youngsters in their 20's but going by the fact that you are in your 50's I am guessing you are looking at the profiles of women around your age or a bit younger so you would think most would be working with children etc so not have too much time or opportunity for all these exciting things. 😉
 

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I rate a lot of the dating profiles right up there with The National Enquirer. Long ago, I embarked on a brief stint of OLD. Some of the guys looked a good 10 years older than their posted photo. Lots of downright weird dudes out there too.

Take the profiles with a grain of salt. If you decide to post your profile, be honest. What - NO ROCK CLIMBING!?!? No bungee jumping? No sky diving? Sounds like you've happened upon a rather boring bunch. And I doubt half of them even know what a kayak looks like.
 

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I's like to ask the ladies' opinions on something. I realize it will only be a "guess," I understand that, but I'm interested in opinions.

I'm in my 50s, and when I read women's dating profiles, it reads like I'm signing up for an adventure camp or they are trying out for an action movie. Everybody is looking for adventure. They love kayaking, travel, camping, hiking, beach, exploring, trying new things, etc. I'm starting to believe that listing kayaking is a requirement for having an account.

My question is, do you think these are genuine profiles? I'm not saying they are necessarily creating a fake profile, but maybe they are just trying to not seem boring. Maybe they went kayaking once and liked it, so they put that as if it's their hobby? Does nobody have a job or everyday duties they have to perform anymore? Does nobody like watching Netflix and relaxing after a week's work?
Welcome to Utopia, where everyone thinks they're the most fun person evaaah and want you to know it too! I know exactly how you feel! I felt like the odd duck posting my profile, b/c I admitted to being a homebody and LIKING it.

Either way, the options are:
1. They're genuine - call their bluff and ask them out on a kayak date (or at least a paddleboat in your city someplace)
2. Totally fake - they think that makes them sound interesting and want to stand out
3. Aspirational - it's something they always wanted to do and would appreciate doing it with a like-minded person. In that case, see 1.
 

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Guy here. they are appealing to men who might have those hobbies or for 'active' guys. Women in that age group have to work a little harder than their younger sisters who can get away with posting a few pictures in minis w/ no profile. This is how it works: A woman while dating will become an NFL fan when dating guy A who loves the Broncos. She's a big Bronco fan and loves tailgating. even wears the jersey of her favorite player. They break up. She starts dating guy B who likes cars. Now she's going to car meets with Mr. B and boning up on high-end cars. Her love of the Broncos and tailgating no longer suits her current situation. if she marries guy B, her love of cars and car meets will likely fade over time and she'll go back to what she wants to do.

If you have good pics brother, they won't care too much about rock-climbing. I guarantee you that.
 

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Guy here. they are appealing to men who might have those hobbies or for 'active' guys. Women in that age group have to work a little harder than their younger sisters who can get away with posting a few pictures in minis w/ no profile. This is how it works: A woman while dating will become an NFL fan when dating guy A who loves the Broncos. She's a big Bronco fan and loves tailgating. even wears the jersey of her favorite player. They break up. She starts dating guy B who likes cars. Now she's going to car meets with Mr. B and boning up on high-end cars. Her love of the Broncos and tailgating no longer suits her current situation. if she marries guy B, her love of cars and car meets will likely fade over time and she'll go back to what she wants to do.

If you have good pics brother, they won't care too much about rock-climbing. I guarantee you that.
Only foolish women do that, the facade always drops eventually. What a colossal waste of time!

There are so many Netflix and chill folks, don't give up hope, Southbound.

Btw, don't post all your pics with sunglasses, it looks douchey. A confident, genuine smile and kind eyes speak volumes! No **** smiles, please!
 

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Welcome to Utopia, where everyone thinks they're the most fun person evaaah and want you to know it too! I know exactly how you feel! I felt like the odd duck posting my profile, b/c I admitted to being a homebody and LIKING it.
Any profiles that admit to 'I like being home in my comfy pajamas, binge-watching shows with wine and potato chips'?
 

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I listed my genuine interests but as I quickly learned, a lot of men don't read text they just look at the photo - thank you for being the exception!

I guess I would ask them about frequency - are ALL their photos of them doing stuff like that? That could be something you bring up if you think they are attractive or you have something else in common. If they only go twice a year, maybe it's not a big deal, and something you could try with them?

Likewise, people who I met who said they liked running, sometimes were marathoners (which is WAY too much running for me) and some didn't actually like running, nor were they able to run. Stick to your genuine interests but be open to trying new things and sometimes opposites attract - maybe you can get them into chilling and watching tv after a day of kayaking?
 

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On average, men like to do things. They, on average, generally like to be outdoors doing fun stuff. So, women who are trying to appeal to the largest share of men - in hopes of finding one compatible guy among the many - will tend to emphasize things men like. That's true whether they're emphasizing big boobs and short skirts or enjoying being outdoors doing fun stuff.

Men do similar things - they highlight stuff about themselves that is going to appeal to the broadest swath of women. You really think dudes are including "attention span of a cocker-spaniel, prone to drunken all-nighters with my poker buddies, will never take you out on a date anywhere I have to wear a sport coat after the first year of our relationship, can't competently do my own laundry, favorite restaurant is Hooters," in their dating profiles? No. What they will say is "spontaneous, like to have a good time, sometimes like to dress up and go out with my lady, have a close relationship with my mom, like to just relax and be myself," because that's more likely to not scare off every decent woman who reads it.

OLD profiles are like real-estate ads. You just have to learn to read them with some comprehension of what the writer is trying to accomplish, and learn to ask questions about the details so you get a real picture of who that person is.

And, yes, as I've mentioned before on your other threads about his, I still know lots of women in the 40+ category, including myself, who actually do kayak a lot, go on kayaking trips, own their own kayaks and kayak trailers, spend weekends kayaking, belong to kayaking groups/clubs, etc. It's a fairly big thing for a lot of middle-aged, and up, ladies in my area. So it's not like there are no kayaking women. The trick for you will be asking the right questions to find out if this is a serious hobby or just something they enjoy from time to time.

FWIW, OP, you've been obviously bothered by that kayaking thing for years. I know this because you've started more than one thread complaining about it. Maybe online dating just isn't for you?
 

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I listed my genuine interests but as I quickly learned, a lot of men don't read text they just look at the photo - thank you for being the exception!

I guess I would ask them about frequency - are ALL their photos of them doing stuff like that? That could be something you bring up if you think they are attractive or you have something else in common. If they only go twice a year, maybe it's not a big deal, and something you could try with them?

Likewise, people who I met who said they liked running, sometimes were marathoners (which is WAY too much running for me) and some didn't actually like running, nor were they able to run. Stick to your genuine interests but be open to trying new things and sometimes opposites attract - maybe you can get them into chilling and watching tv after a day of kayaking?
You can tell the non-profile readers apart quite easily from the ones who take the time to see what you're about as a person. It's boring getting comments based on your outward appearance, profile-reading men stand out like beacons.

It really depends on what both parties are looking for, so think about what you want Southbound and dangle the right bait. I'm insanely curious, so I always asked why someone was interested and asked what of experience they were having on OLD. That made it easier to sift people who were just looking for hookups, from those looking for a genuine connection with a compatible person.

On average, men like to do things. They, on average, generally like to be outdoors doing fun stuff. So, women who are trying to appeal to the largest share of men - in hopes of finding one compatible guy among the many - will tend to emphasize things men like. That's true whether they're emphasizing big boobs and short skirts or enjoying being outdoors doing fun stuff.

Men do similar things - they highlight stuff about themselves that is going to appeal to the broadest swath of women. You really think dudes are including "attention span of a cocker-spaniel, prone to drunken all-nighters with my poker buddies, will never take you out on a date anywhere I have to wear a sport coat after the first year of our relationship, can't competently do my own laundry, favorite restaurant is Hooters," in their dating profiles? No. What they will say is "spontaneous, like to have a good time, sometimes like to dress up and go out with my lady, have a close relationship with my mom, like to just relax and be myself," because that's more likely to not scare off every decent woman who reads it.

OLD profiles are like real-estate ads. You just have to learn to read them with some comprehension of what the writer is trying to accomplish, and learn to ask questions about the details so you get a real picture of who that person is.

And, yes, as I've mentioned before on your other threads about his, I still know lots of women in the 40+ category, including myself, who actually do kayak a lot, go on kayaking trips, own their own kayaks and kayak trailers, spend weekends kayaking, belong to kayaking groups/clubs, etc. It's a fairly big thing for a lot of middle-aged, and up, ladies in my area. So it's not like there are no kayaking women. The trick for you will be asking the right questions to find out if this is a serious hobby or just something they enjoy from time to time.

FWIW, OP, you've been obviously bothered by that kayaking thing for years. I know this because you've started more than one thread complaining about it. Maybe online dating just isn't for you?
I've never understood that though, lying on your profile to get a larger audience. What does that really accomplish? That's like lying on a resume to get a job you're completely incapable of doing, getting stressed out and rage quitting or getting fired.

No wonder so many relationships are dead on arrival, ugh. Just be you man, it might take a while, but you'll meet someone who actually likes the person you ARE, not some "cool" dude she has to pretend to be "cool" to get.
 

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I'm a huge proponent of honesty. I was very honest on my online dating profiles. I want everyone to be very honest on theirs. Sadly, not enough people are completely honest. Hence my advice to view OLD profiles similarly to real-estate ads. You need to think about the person's aims and ask questions so you can tell if that person is outright lying, being completely honest, or maybe doing that 'slight massaging of the facts to make the best impression' thing people are notorious for.

But, the OP has been on several times complaining about the apparently high number of women who like to kayak and wondering if there are no women who just want to stay home and watch tv. The problem is not that there are so many ladies who claim that they like to kayak. The real problem is that the OP wants a woman who is a homebody and is having trouble finding one. Kayaking is just the trigger point for him that he seems to get hung up on. In reality, he needs to filter better and eliminate the women who claim to be too active for him. Or he needs to ask lots of questions to see if the women he's matching with online are actually to active for him or just trying to make a good impression as an active person in order to attract the most men. Or, maybe he just needs to find a nice lady at the local library or at church or through mutual friends, and stay away from all the overly-active women on the OLD sites.
 

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I'm a huge proponent of honesty. I was very honest on my online dating profiles. I want everyone to be very honest on theirs. Sadly, not enough people are completely honest. Hence my advice to view OLD profiles similarly to real-estate ads. You need to think about the person's aims and ask questions so you can tell if that person is outright lying, being completely honest, or maybe doing that 'slight massaging of the facts to make the best impression' thing people are notorious for.

But, the OP has been on several times complaining about the apparently high number of women who like to kayak and wondering if there are no women who just want to stay home and watch tv. The problem is not that there are so many ladies who claim that they like to kayak. The real problem is that the OP wants a woman who is a homebody and is having trouble finding one. Kayaking is just the trigger point for him that he seems to get hung up on. In reality, he needs to filter better and eliminate the women who claim to be too active for him. Or he needs to ask lots of questions to see if the women he's matching with online are actually to active for him or just trying to make a good impression as an active person in order to attract the most men. Or, maybe he just needs to find a nice lady at the local library or at church or through mutual friends, and stay away from all the overly-active women on the OLD sites.
You make great points. Expecting reciprocated honesty is one of my biggest failings, that is why I understand his frustration. Who wants a liar anyway? If you can lie about things that don't matter, what else can you lie about? Hard pass.

I hope you see the irony of meeting a fellow homebody in person :ROFLMAO:
 

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There used be a joke about the ones who said they love travel and fine dining. It was they left off part of the sentence. They will travel and eat at fine restaurants but only when someone else pays.
 

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Even if people do things like kayaking, the vast majority of their time will still be spent doing every day things.
No one can be out doing active stuff all the time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Thanks for the responses. I assumed there was a certain amount of build up to the profiles.
 
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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Any profiles that admit to 'I like being home in my comfy pajamas, binge-watching shows with wine and potato chips'?
Not really. Everyone is “ready for adventure” and “loves the outdoors.” It’s like we have to go on a safari on the first date. Lol
 
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Not really. Everyone is “ready for adventure” and “loves the outdoors.” It’s like we have to go on a safari on the first date. Lol
How is the dating scene going for you - profile descriptions aside?
 
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Not really. Everyone is “ready for adventure” and “loves the outdoors.” It’s like we have to go on a safari on the first date. Lol
The only people I know who live that kind of life for real are retired, long time couples who have amassed some wealth.

Everyone else is working 40+ hours a week, and weeknights coming home to dinner prep, dishes, maybe time for either: some exercise or a hobby or meeting a friend, a few times a week.

Weekends you have to do laundry, grocery shop, clean the house, yard work, errands, bills. Unless you have staff to grocery shop, cook, do dishes, do your yardwork, take care of all of your finances, and clean your bathroom and house...a part of every weekend is going to be spent taking care of those things. Unless you live in squalor, wear dirty clothes and underwear, have an empty fridge and an overgrown lawn.

Of course!! people also make time for sports and exercise, friends, hobbies, fun activities...but if you work full time and are an average single person, and aren't a superhuman energy wise, your life isn't 7 days a week of constant kayaking, hiking, travelling, and adventure.

Sometimes you really do need to sit on the couch and watch some Netflix.
 

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Even if people do things like kayaking, the vast majority of their time will still be spent doing every day things.
No one can be out doing active stuff all the time.
FWIW, I met my boyfriend while doing online dating. We actually do both hike, kayak and rock climb, and have done those things together and had a lot of fun. But we are also in our mid-40s and the vast majority of our time together is spent doing much more normal things. I think of OLD profiles as coming attractions--they show off the absolute most exciting parts of the movie, but most people realize there's going to be a lot of mundane stuff mixed in because, as stated above, no one can be out doing all that active stuff all the time, especially when you're over 30 or so 😄
 
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