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Smart - beautiful women are keenly aware that a subset of men - aren't even able to 'see' them as a person - due to being so distracted by their appearance.

I saw this date on reality tv. The guy must have said: you are so beautiful 10 times. The woman was getting more and more anxious after the third time.


Even the most beautiful women in the world worry about their looks. They find fault where others see perfection. Don't let on that she scares the crap out of you - that would definitely be unbecoming.
 
My husband felt I was out of his league.. he told me yrs ago.. when we met he expected me to reject him.. his attitude was.. "I need to just get this over with"... he had to TRY... He was taken by my looks primarily..

I had other things going on that I wasn't Miss Confidence by any means.. his being the humble nice guy made me feel more comfortable.. that he was more trustworthy.. I could just BE myself... had he come off Mr Popularity / Stud Alpha muffin .... I may have been turned off by him.. to be honest. So it worked out nicely for us..
 
I think people can tell instinctively by nonverbal communication if a guy is putting on a show, arrogant, Inconfident, etc.
If one thinks they're out of another person's league and acts like it, they might as well be.
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Discussion starter · #25 ·
Hey folks, this is the OP.

I hear what everyone is saying about giving things a chance, I'm good with that. Also I more than understand she may be thinking the same thing about me! lol. And yes I know there is no "league" per say, people are just people and you're either compatible or not. And special thanks to Evinrude for telling me she poos and farts, that knocked her right off the pedestal and put her on the porcelain throne instead! (wish I could erase that visual)

Truth be told I kind of enjoyed the feeling of being in her presence, I found myself smiling simply because I couldn't believe how on the ball this woman is, it was like watching 4th of July fireworks, i just kept thinking wow, and then wow again, and wow some more. When I mentioned I was thinking "I could never make her happy" it wasn't because I lack confidence it had more to do with her charging into her life while I'm in the process of scaling back and simplifying my life. She was married for many years and only worked part time, now she has embraced being a professional single woman and is "making up for being behind" as she stated, and I admire that. But that was me 10/15 years ago, now I don't want to put that kind of energy into anything but enjoying myself.

Anyway...too much premature thinking, a couple phone calls and one meeting mean nothing. Our next date is a trip to Home Depot so she can tell me what colors and counter tops to get for a bath room I'm redoing, I may as well take advantage of a woman's decorating abilities why I have the chance (since I have no decorating abilities).
 
Hey folks, this is the OP.



I hear what everyone is saying about giving things a chance, I'm good with that. Also I more than understand she may be thinking the same thing about me! lol. And yes I know there is no "league" per say, people are just people and you're either compatible or not. And special thanks to Evinrude for telling me she poos and farts, that knocked her right off the pedestal and put her on the porcelain throne instead! (wish I could erase that visual)



Truth be told I kind of enjoyed the feeling of being in her presence, I found myself smiling simply because I couldn't believe how on the ball this woman is, it was like watching 4th of July fireworks, i just kept thinking wow, and then wow again, and wow some more. When I mentioned I was thinking "I could never make her happy" it wasn't because I lack confidence it had more to do with her charging into her life while I'm in the process of scaling back and simplifying my life. She was married for many years and only worked part time, now she has embraced being a professional single woman and is "making up for being behind" as she stated, and I admire that. But that was me 10/15 years ago, now I don't want to put that kind of energy into anything but enjoying myself.



Anyway...too much premature thinking, a couple phone calls and one meeting mean nothing. Our next date is a trip to Home Depot so she can tell me what colors and counter tops to get for a bath room I'm redoing, I may as well take advantage of a woman's decorating abilities why I have the chance (since I have no decorating abilities).


You are correct in saying you could never make her happy. To that remark, it's not your focus or place to make her happy.

I don't know, maybe my wife was out of my league when we first met. No doubt there were other guys checking her out, I just took it the next step. I did not just check her out but asked her out (as much of an ugly mutt that I am). I only made it a point of having a good time with her on dates, not to somehow make her happy.

Just my opinion - I think she may already be happy (part of her confidence as well as attractiveness), you and her just need to go out and enjoy yourselves. If she is not happy with the date, that would be all on her, not you. It sounds to me like you found a good woman, so don't let her slip away or let some other guy get in line ahead of you. Relax and just do something fun you both like doing, hiking, coffee time, etc. Don't focus on her happiness, let her deal with it. It is just a date and take it one step at a time. Oh, and check back in to let us know how it went or is going. Pulling for you.


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I am a 55 year old divorced male, intelligent, confident, a successful business owner, there's not much that rattles me. Last night I met a woman for a meet and greet, talking to her on the phone I knew she was intelligent and successful but in person this woman blew me away to the point I felt intimidated! I truly felt this woman was superior to me in almost every aspect, I can't say that has ever happened to me before, I have met and dealt with a lot of high powered individuals and never felt inferior. It was strange because she was as nice as can be, nothing pretentious or arrogant about her, it even seems like she likes me, yet I felt inferior. Oh and she is damn attractive to boot!

Maybe the reality is I'm insecure, lol, by the time we finished talking I was thinking to myself I could only disappoint this woman.

So as my mind runs amok I'm wondering if relationships like this ever work out. Any of you ever met someone who just blew away your own self worth yet ended up in a successful relationship with them? I'm not talking arm candy or trophy spouses, I'm talking actual loving relationships.

I am actually nervous about seeing her again, I can't believe how she rattled me.
Most important quality to have in a successful relationship or life in general is character. If you have that then you something very special to offer. Let that inform your self worth. It is something you can fully control, and it is very hard to come by.
 
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There is no single measure of quality. Someone will always be better than you at any particular thing, but no one will be better than you in every way.

Were I dating, there is no one I would hesitate to date. It would be up to her to decide if my combination of qualities were what she wanted.
 
Sorry, that isn't what I meant.
I meant that I would never avoid dating someone because they were too "good" ,or "bad" for me in a general sense. I certainly would not date someone unless I had a positive impression of them.


Really?:confused:

Don't you think you can raise the bar a little higher; to save yourself some time if nothing else.

I mean, there are some folks that you know within a couple of minutes of meeting them that you would never want to date them. Or, maybe you don't get that immediate gut reaction?? Interesting. I'm not insulting you, I do think it's interesting that you would be willing to date anyone.
 
....talking to her on the phone I knew she was intelligent and successful but in person this woman blew me away to the point I felt intimidated! I truly felt this woman was superior to me in almost every aspect....
Funny, when I asked, on another forum, how to know what my "league" is and how to identify what women would find men in my "league" appealing, I was nearly killed by women claiming there's no such thing.

Figure out what's intimidating about her. It's not going to be something healthy, I'll assure you. By your age, and having been in business, you have learned to relate to the bum on the street and the billionaire in the corporate office...you just can't reach our age, be successful in business, and have not needed to collaborate up and down the social strata.

Something about her is new to your experiences, but unlike your past, when you embraced all forms of learning, something about this new thing says you might not be up to the challenge.

GL
 
Kurt Vonnegut from his book Timequake

"There is no way a beautiful woman can live up to what she looks like for any appreciable length of time."
 
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