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Premium Member
19,023 Posts
You do have to train them early.

If you don't, that just encourages more mediocre behavior because they think they're doing it right, so you have to do it early. 馃榿 馃榿
Yep, us mens are willin', but wary, soon weary of doin' it wrong.


Lessons are much preferred to those lock-outs.

13,560 Posts
I started seeing this great guy (about 2 months in) He's extremely fun, respectful, kind, generous, upbeat and is smitten by me. Many dates, lots of makeout sessions. No sex yet.
He's a sloppy kisser. Open mouth, saliva, swallowing my mouth etc. I'm not a fan of that...I love to kiss.
The last date was kinda heated (hot makeout session in his car), and I'm expecting we're headed to sex. I'm not there yet, and he's been respectful of my boundaries. Oh, and he was in a dead bedroom with his ex wife for years, so intimacy is extremely important to him, but he's been patient with me. He's very affectionate though.
In the meantime, what to do with the bad kissing? Communicate? Teach him? We're both affectionate, cuddly, hand holding, PDA, etc.
Tell him what you want. He is not a mind reader. How do you expect it to change if you don't say anything? You don't have to be like, hey you suck, you can be like, hey I like this, let's try this. I personally always liked to be with someone who just told me what they wanted as apposed to having to read body language, half the time if the person is afraid to say what they want their signals also follow this fear so they are very very subtle.

If intimacy is important to him he will probably be motivated.

I have been married for a long time now but I figured if there was ever a time when I date again I am just going to ask, life is too short.

Premium Member
19,023 Posts
I love the kissing as much as the bare chested hugging.
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1,077 Posts
It's only been two months, so the relationship is obviously still new. I am sure he wouldn't have any issues if you talked to him about his kissing style. He probably was very nervous about his approach, wants to make you happy, and figured if you haven't said anything, then why make any changes? 馃榿

Good luck to the two of you and I hope everything works out 馃挄

4,443 Posts
Kissing is such a big part of chemistry, in my opinion. I don鈥檛 think it鈥檚 worth breaking up with someone you connect with in every other way but if you really see it going somewhere, tell him what you鈥檇 like and hope for the best. 鈽

426 Posts
bad kisser = bad sex. I remember that was a saying with the girls. Hope you can defeat the myth.
weak kisser week sex
bad kisser bad sex
sloppy kisser .... sloppy sex ?

I find unless kissing is compatible you might never like it that much, there are different styles, people just kiss differently. Sounds like he is a sloppy mouthy kisser.

4,422 Posts
All because of kissing, in my case? Sad. He really is a great guy in many ways. Darn this kissing problem!
If his ego can handle the rejection, you can still keep him as a good friend.
You don't have to say that he's a bad kisser, he's just not the type of kisser that you prefer.
Other women might not mind his style.
However, as others have suggested, show him what you want and see if he's interested in pleasing you.

Super Moderator
8,561 Posts
Well, the kissing is much better! He's following directions very diligently. He listened and acted accordingly. Much better.
If the lesson is engaging and fun, most men take direction quite well. That's great news. For both of you.

Given that we are absolutely never prone to jumping to conclusions, being judgmental, or sticking our noses where they don't belong ...

You mentioned that he is quite smitten with you.
Where you at? Are you full of smit as well?
I acknowledge that you spoke quite fondly and favorably of him. Do you want him? If he were to make the move to be intimate right now, is that something you would welcome?

You don't have to tell us of course.

But, tell us anyway.
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