dating / cheating?

928 Views 5 Replies 4 Participants Last post by Monty4321, Dec 2, 2012

Monty4321

Discussion Starter · Dec 2, 2012

So I need help in the way I am thinking.

What are your views on dating multiple people at once if not in a committed relationship to either? Does anyone feel it is wrong? Would you be upset if you knew the person you're dating and chatting with went on a date with someone else and is actively communicating with that person on the same level?

I personally don't see harm in doing so while you'll getting to know both before committing. However, I still feel Bad as though it's being untruthful and misleading. Because, if things were going good with both, one will have to get cut off in order to commit.

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Broken at 20

· #2 · Dec 2, 2012

Maybe it depends on what you are looking for out of the relationship.

If you are looking for someone to spend your life with, get married, have kids, and all that wonderful stuff (if it still exist), then I wouldn't do it with someone that was dating other people while I was dating them.
We are not courses at a buffet. You can't just pick up 5 to figure out which one is the best. Dating and life are much more complex than that.

But if you are just looking to have fun, then why not? I don't see a problem with it as long as you are up front about it being just for fun, and no plans to make it long-term for the immediate future.

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mel123

· #3 · Dec 2, 2012

nothing wrong with it, as long as you are; open, honest and transparent with both

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Lon

· #4 · Dec 2, 2012

Ah, exclusivity. What do you mean by "dating", many first and second dates with many women, or a small handful of early relationships that are becoming serious and intimate?

I would say nobody expects exclusivity on first or second dates (though in my experience women seem to feign horror at the idea - so don't bring the subject up!).

If you feel the need to lie at any point, either by omitting the truth or telling fibs, I personally think that is going to bite you.

Everyone's boundary on it will slightly differ, but to me if it becomes physical, even just necking, then I would want to explore the relationship in an exclusive manner, which means having to make a hard choice on which option you want to go with.

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Monty4321

Discussion Starter · #5 · Dec 2, 2012

Lon said:
Ah, exclusivity. What do you mean by "dating", many first and second dates with many women, or a small handful of early relationships that are becoming serious and intimate?

I would say nobody expects exclusivity on first or second dates (though in my experience women seem to feign horror at the idea - so don't bring the subject up!).

If you feel the need to lie at any point, either by omitting the truth or telling fibs, I personally think that is going to bite you.

Everyone's boundary on it will slightly differ, but to me if it becomes physical, even just necking, then I would want to explore the relationship in an exclusive manner, which means having to make a hard choice on which option you want to go with.

thanks for your comments. I guess that I mean dating, from going on the first few dates to dating over the course of a month.

I could see if getting more intimate with one at any point during this early period - should force a decision to be made.

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Monty4321

Discussion Starter · #6 · Dec 2, 2012

Lon said:
If you feel the need to lie at any point, either by omitting the truth or telling fibs, I personally think that is going to bite you.

And this is what made me really think about this. I can see how someone would feel that the other was being untruthful.

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