Dont do it to yourself or to him. Focus on you and what you feel like you need to do. Being..even talking to someone else is a unwise attempt to fill the hole you have in your heart. Focus on yourself and get yourself healed from this situation, and then you can make better decisions. Once you get thru this and heal from the pain it will be time to look into other relationships. No need to complicate your life or anyone else's at this point. One step at a time. A rebound relationship is what this has the potential to be and isn't fair to anyone involved. be honest and let him know whale you are flattered, that the timing isn't right for you. That you need to deal with the relationship you are letting go.
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You do not need to wait until your divorce is final.
Wait until you are ready. Only you will know when that is.
You could be ready now or you might not feel ready until a year or two after you divorce.
A legal document is not going to 'make' you ready to date again, and it won't protect you from going on the re-bound.
So, date when you're ready - and there's no point in asking anyone else advice on this....ask yourself what you want to do, how do you feel? Whatever you decide - have faith in your own decision making. Trust yourself, trust your instincts.
Having said all that....I say, go for it!!
Wait until you are ready. Only you will know when that is.
You could be ready now or you might not feel ready until a year or two after you divorce.
A legal document is not going to 'make' you ready to date again, and it won't protect you from going on the re-bound.
So, date when you're ready - and there's no point in asking anyone else advice on this....ask yourself what you want to do, how do you feel? Whatever you decide - have faith in your own decision making. Trust yourself, trust your instincts.
Having said all that....I say, go for it!!
so maybe I should have gotten a separation before filing for divorce?lots of negative comments... well not really negative but I can see both ends and know its prob not wise to date before its final. I feel like if he can cheat on me numerous times, physically,mentally, emotionally abuse me and I'm the one who has given chances and forgive numerous times and then when I say I'm done no one believes me or thinks I'm ready to move on. I met for coffee last night. He knows my situation told him everything that its not final, I have a 2 year old etc. He is shocked I have a child and doesnt know how to handle that but he still wants to see me. He's not looking for sex and that is evident because he just got out of a bad relationship and doesnt want to get hurt as well. We actually had a really deep conversation and have more in common then me and my husband. Both have pollish backgrounds, both catholic (husband was so against religion) actually wants to be a physician and be successful and want something out of life unlike my husband who has been laid off and not even looking for a job because he hates working. Its so sad when I compare both men I'm like is this too good to be true that I met someone who I have a ton in common with? Not to mention on my way to the coffee shop spotted a rainbow I am happy... I have a feeling I havent felt in awhile and dont want it to go away. Why should I lose my happiness because the divorce isnt final yet?
I am happy... I have a feeling I havent felt in awhile and dont want it to go away. Why should I lose my happiness because the divorce isnt final yet?To me, it's not about the divorce being final or not. It's about being ready to move on. You said in your first post that your husband is still living with you, and you were trying to make it work. If you were over your husband, you would have said "Tough Nuggies, dude. Find another place to live".so maybe I should have gotten a separation before filing for divorce?lots of negative comments... well not really negative but I can see both ends and know its prob not wise to date before its final. I feel like if he can cheat on me numerous times, physically,mentally, emotionally abuse me and I'm the one who has given chances and forgive numerous times and then when I say I'm done no one believes me or thinks I'm ready to move on. I met for coffee last night. He knows my situation told him everything that its not final, I have a 2 year old etc. He is shocked I have a child and doesnt know how to handle that but he still wants to see me. He's not looking for sex and that is evident because he just got out of a bad relationship and doesnt want to get hurt as well. We actually had a really deep conversation and have more in common then me and my husband. Both have pollish backgrounds, both catholic (husband was so against religion) actually wants to be a physician and be successful and want something out of life unlike my husband who has been laid off and not even looking for a job because he hates working. Its so sad when I compare both men I'm like is this too good to be true that I met someone who I have a ton in common with? Not to mention on my way to the coffee shop spotted a rainbow
Just my $0.02. And I say this as someone who is separated (not divorced) and seeing someone. I'm not judging you, and your situation doesn't affect me one way or the other, so I have no stake in what you do.
C
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