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Hey. I'm 25 and have been single for over a year now. I started online dating and met a man of 33 who admitted to be separated and going through divorce. He promised me no baggage, so we met up and had an amazing time, we hit it off instantly and I can honestly say I had never felt such a spark with someone before.
This was 2 months ago now. About 2 weeks into our dating, he had "the talk" with me that he felt bad that I was looking for a relationship, and he didnt feel ready to commit to somebody else just yet. He is still dealing with the divorce, mortgage etc (they were together 8 years but only married 6 months, she ran off with someone else in January 2012. They had no children)
Anyway, I was saddened, but we agreed to continue our relationship slowly, and just see what happened.
Since then, I have had a couple of "blips" - I can feel myself falling for this man, and have gotten confused and upset that we cannot be together, and I have called it a day. On both occasions he has, initially, accepted my decision, but on both occasions (and after a few drinks I might add) has ended up calling me up asking to see me again, saying he misses me and is frustrated that he cannot give me what I want just yet. He says down the line he may be able to, but thats a risk I would have to take. On both occasions I have caved in.
This man comes across as very open, honest and genuine. I would hate to think he was using me. We get along just great, but he still talks about his wife sometimes. He went to a wedding the other week, and admitted finding it VERY difficult. He blatantly isnt over her yet, and on a number of occasions when i'm round his house i end up getting "put out like the cat" because she is coming over to get the dog, or to sort out her things - he said he doesnt want to have a domestic with her over me but at the end of the day, she has a new partner now, why can't he have his happiness?
Anyway, this situation is taking over my mind 24/7. I only see this guy once a week, if that, as we agreed to take it slow. I leave the contact up to him, and he contacts me regularly to see how I am. I don't want to pressurise him or come across as desperate - but I also don't want to fall in love with him and end up very badly hurt indeed.
I am TRYING to take each day as it comes, enjoy the time I have with him, he's a very very attractive man and is very much my type in all aspects. I'm just struggling - and I need to know whether I should continue to wait and hope for this man, give him affection, show him I won't leave him and he can trust me, and pray that one day we make it official. Or do I run, run like the wind?
I am still actively searching another relationship (he knows this) and have dated other men since him, nothing has developed with them though and a part of me is glad - i'm not ready to let go
Opinions from people who have been divorced and know what he is going through would be much appreciated also. Sorry for the essay! x
This was 2 months ago now. About 2 weeks into our dating, he had "the talk" with me that he felt bad that I was looking for a relationship, and he didnt feel ready to commit to somebody else just yet. He is still dealing with the divorce, mortgage etc (they were together 8 years but only married 6 months, she ran off with someone else in January 2012. They had no children)
Anyway, I was saddened, but we agreed to continue our relationship slowly, and just see what happened.
Since then, I have had a couple of "blips" - I can feel myself falling for this man, and have gotten confused and upset that we cannot be together, and I have called it a day. On both occasions he has, initially, accepted my decision, but on both occasions (and after a few drinks I might add) has ended up calling me up asking to see me again, saying he misses me and is frustrated that he cannot give me what I want just yet. He says down the line he may be able to, but thats a risk I would have to take. On both occasions I have caved in.
This man comes across as very open, honest and genuine. I would hate to think he was using me. We get along just great, but he still talks about his wife sometimes. He went to a wedding the other week, and admitted finding it VERY difficult. He blatantly isnt over her yet, and on a number of occasions when i'm round his house i end up getting "put out like the cat" because she is coming over to get the dog, or to sort out her things - he said he doesnt want to have a domestic with her over me but at the end of the day, she has a new partner now, why can't he have his happiness?
Anyway, this situation is taking over my mind 24/7. I only see this guy once a week, if that, as we agreed to take it slow. I leave the contact up to him, and he contacts me regularly to see how I am. I don't want to pressurise him or come across as desperate - but I also don't want to fall in love with him and end up very badly hurt indeed.
I am TRYING to take each day as it comes, enjoy the time I have with him, he's a very very attractive man and is very much my type in all aspects. I'm just struggling - and I need to know whether I should continue to wait and hope for this man, give him affection, show him I won't leave him and he can trust me, and pray that one day we make it official. Or do I run, run like the wind?
I am still actively searching another relationship (he knows this) and have dated other men since him, nothing has developed with them though and a part of me is glad - i'm not ready to let go
Opinions from people who have been divorced and know what he is going through would be much appreciated also. Sorry for the essay! x