[working_together]

Well, seems like the dating world is a waste of my time....lol, weeks ago, I went on a few dates, and I thought I would share the craziness of what's out there. First of all, let me prefice this by saying I am an intelligent woman, who has good intution, or so I thought.

Maybe it's the dating site I'm on....lol I'm laughing, because if you don't laugh you'll go mad.

The first guy looked ok by his picture. We met, and I was very disappointed, to put in mildly. And btw, a lot of people lie on those sites...lol. He was shorter than he said, he had chapped lips, the kind where skin is peeling and hanging by a thread. He was very underdressed, jeans were kind of torn (not the in style kind either), and well, he was a mess. So we meet, first thing he says "I need to use the washroom", I was like ok, he enters the men's room, and I'm waiting for him to come out, 5 min's goes by, nada, 10min goes by..nada. I was feeling kind of cheeky, and brave, so I left. Never heard from him again. I thought to myself either he's doing his "business" in there, which totally disgusted me, what if he doesn't wash his hands?, then the thought of drug use came to mind, and so I bolted out there in a quick jog.

The other date I went on, pic was nice, chatted for a couple of weeks, seemed like it was ok to meet. Well, it would have been nice if he told me he had gained a substancial amount of weight before we met....grrrr. I don't have anything against people that are overweight, but hey, liars..nope. So, I did the polite thing, had a coffee, then he asks if I had eaten, I should have said yes, but he was pretty "normal", other than the lying...lol. So, we had dinner. He basically kept telling me to eat more during the whole meal, I'm petite, and don't have a big apetite. I was becoming a bit nausous, then he orders desert...OMG. And yep, kept telling me to eat more. I was ill at the end of dinner, said good bye, went home and went to sleep, I could barely move....ugh

So, I guess it really takes a while to meet your match, I just feel like I'm wasting my time, and I don't really have the patience for this anymore. I almost feel like there are better pickings in the grocery stores....lol

I guess I don't have a question, just thought I'd share my dating life.....my ex keeps asking about my dating life, lol, I don't have one I say, because really, I don't. I'm on a break from it all, have been for a few weeks, and then Mr. Unavailable shows up in my life again....ugh

kick me hard.

 

[that_girl]

The chapped lips KILLED ME :rofl: GROSS!

Dating is lame...I wish I had advice, but I don't. Just keep your sense of humor and trust your gut!! And stop eating so much lolol.

 

[RandomDude]

I was like ok, he enters the men's room, and I'm waiting for him to come out, 5 min's goes by, nada, 10min goes by..nada. I was feeling kind of cheeky, and brave, so I left.

:rofl:
You bad girl! lol
I can only imagine his face when he came out, looking here looking there, going WTF?!!! lol

So, I guess it really takes a while to meet your match, I just feel like I'm wasting my time, and I don't really have the patience for this anymore. I almost feel like there are better pickings in the grocery stores....lol

I guess I don't have a question, just thought I'd share my dating life.....my ex keeps asking about my dating life, lol, I don't have one I say, because really, I don't. I'm on a break from it all, have been for a few weeks, and then Mr. Unavailable shows up in my life....ugh

I was never one for dating, I liked the spontaneousness, so I like trains, parties, random lines out of nowhere and the challenge of breaking the ice and getting a random woman's number in less than 5 minutes! I learnt it all when I was doing direct sales hehe xD

My wife and I never even really dated, not really, we just kinda... fell into place.

 

[working_together]

The chapped lips KILLED ME :rofl: GROSS!

Dating is lame...I wish I had advice, but I don't. Just keep your sense of humor and trust your gut!! And stop eating so much lolol.

You know you're full when you're eating, and your tongue is kind sticking out you're ready to hurl, I was so sick to my stomach. He wanted to go to this place called Rockaberry's, they have those crazy sized pies and cakes, where you can only eat a few bites. He was so upset when it was booked, I know I would have puked for sure.

Now, if it had been that time of the month...bring it

 

[that_girl]

:rofl: I did date for about a year before meeting my husband. DANG! Some crazy mofos out there :lol:

I did have a friend-with-benefits on the side so..I had no pressure to have sex with losers. It worked for me, whatever.

When is your next date?

 

[working_together]

:rofl: I did date for about a year before meeting my husband. DANG! Some crazy mofos out there :lol:

I did have a friend-with-benefits on the side so..I had no pressure to have sex with losers. It worked for me, whatever.

When is your next date?

One other guy I was chatting to asked if I wanted to go hiking with him, I used to enjoy it, but with little tikes, it's hard to make the time for it. Now that I have my weekends to myself I'd like to get back to doing those sorts of things. But then I wondered if this guy would hack me up in the woods...lol

 

[that_girl]

Yea. When going on dates, make sure the first few are in public. People are crazy. I always met people places...never let them see my car either

 

[working_together]

Yeah, I'm not in a rush to get serious any more, kind of being laid back about the whole thing now. My "friend" and I have a good time when we see each other, and I'm very aloof with him, and I guess he now wants to spend more time with me. He knows I date others (no sex). I think he's a bit jealous, he's making an effort, but I'm not getting sucked into like before....my terms now, the b*tch is in charge...

 

[homebuilder]

I wouldn't put pressure on oneself you never know when you might meet the right person. Just play it cool and be yourself.

 

[heartsbeating]

Yeah, I'm not in a rush to get serious any more, kind of being laid back about the whole thing now. My "friend" and I have a good time when we see each other, and I'm very aloof with him, and I guess he now wants to spend more time with me. He knows I date others (no sex). I think he's a bit jealous, he's making an effort, but I'm not getting sucked into like before....my terms now, the b*tch is in charge...

Stop the press!

Is this THE Mr Unavailable?

Please be careful not to trick yourself into thinking he's jealous and such. Based on what you've shared before, he might just feel there's no pressure on him now if you're dating. Why did you let him back into your life? If you are ready and accepting of it, so be it. But I remember having cheerleader pom-poms at the ready for you last time!

Your dating stories made me giggle.

 

[heartsbeating]

....and trust me, I'm not the cheerleader type. You brought that out in me!

 

[Homemaker_Numero_Uno]

Wow, that's pretty sad. What area of the country are you in? Metro area? I'm in a small town, so nothing I do is private. Pretty much everyone I know, know's I'm looking and dating. My landlord is a police officer, which is nice. If I ever needed a background check...my thinking is that if I needed one, I shouldn't be dating the guy though.

I leave a note with the username of the person I'm meeting, and where I'm going, when I expect to be back...

I've only had one strange date with a guy who came on really strong. He was nice, but messed up, sleep deprived. Otherwise I've been able to weed out the weirdos.

I was introduced to someone through the ballroom dance crowd, he's nice but I think he's on the eager side. I don't want him to think it's a sure thing. I gave him my profile name and on it, I specifically say that I'm dating casually in the short term. Fortunately he's a while away, over an hour. I have a breakfast date lined up with a guy who lives more locally, I think at the core we might be compatible, except that I have this dance hobby.

Then there's my Argentine Tango dance instructor. I really like him, and I know the attraction is mutual. But. I'm not sure he'd date anyone seriously. So there's a lid on that.

I dated a guy from Match for 4 months. He has issues with weed and depression and in the end his temper. He doesn't like reality and unfortunately I'm firmly grounded in it. I think I was too much reality for him. I can see why he's single. On the other hand, considering staying friends with him, abut without benefits.

I have a guy friend I go out with who is a friend, friend. He struggles with a lot of different stuff. He saw me through the period of when my former boyfriend had a brain hemorrhage, so he's seen me at my best during the worst, and knows my character and personality probably better than any other man I know. IF he could get his act together and get a handle on his life, that's the guy I would marry. But that's not the circumstance. When I mentioned it theoretically, dating (not marriage) he wouldn't because of our mutual friend that I was involved with. So pretty much we go out to eat and do some activity stuff together...he met my friends when I was camping last summer, came to the campground twice, and they said I should marry him. Duh. But he's swamped with work, house and health issues. He doesn't dance, which is a shame. I tried to get him to come out for lessons but that hasn't happened. So that relationship is bound by certain issues of reality, and my attraction to him is limited by these issues...

My dating world doesn't seem to have the 'bad dates' but it has its sinkholes of its own that command respect and caution.

I heard a really horrible dating story from my massage therapist this past week. She'd gone to a guy's home, and he was most definitely sociopathic, and she stayed over...I was impressed that she shared the story with me. I think she wanted to convey to me that even though she's re-married now, she was not above making mistakes and wanted me to feel better about the whole dating scene. The guy's house was a pit, he made her go to the store for something so he could go through her stuff, she was joshing around with him and pinched him playfully and he pushed her down in a chair and pinched her hard and said how does it feel? It sounded awful.

I have a breakfast date with a local guy tomorrow. He has a business and is very pleasant. Have not yet met him in person but we know mutual people, like my landlord, and he asked me if I like the movies (at the theatre where I volunteer...lol.) Meeting me for breakfast is a bonus...I'm definitely a morning person.

 

[dubbizle]

Unless the first guy was sick he was waiting until you left so he could leave.

That was the great thing about the old show Love Connection where you could here both sides of the story.

 

[costa200]

Dating sites? Those are totally full to the brim with losers. Aren't there other ways to meet people these days?

 

[Homemaker_Numero_Uno]

Dating sites? Those are totally full to the brim with losers. Aren't there other ways to meet people these days?

I was introduced to a guy in person and we exchanged user profile names. It's just one of many ways to meet someone. Now the ice breaker question is, do you have a profile and what's your user name? It's almost as if the dating site profile is a calling card/resume. It also serves the purpose of keeping your profile visible while dating so as to make sure your dates understand that they are just that, dates. Of course there are other ways...but having a profile on a popular dating site can save a lot of time and trouble.

 

[Homemaker_Numero_Uno]

Dating sites? Those are totally full to the brim with losers. Aren't there other ways to meet people these days?

I agree, there are loads of losers. But you can weed them out. There is a blocking feature. I go bicycling and get marriage propositions from losers, and go to the store for beer in my boots and get asked out...or get propositioned while at a play or movie on my own (or with someone!) or on the dance floor. The losers are everywhere, the dating site is a reflection of reality.

 

[cloudwithleggs]

Why no sex? I suppose it is finding a man that you actually want to have sex with. I think i might have a difficult time.

I just find it very difficult to be attracted and if your not physically attracted then i really am not interested in getting to know them, which is a shame because personality is also part of attraction. :scratchhead:

 

[EnjoliWoman]

I'm pretty good at weeding them out as well. Free sites are full of cheap losers and married men. Paid sites have better quality men but even there one has to be careful.

I can tell by clothing or hairstyles very often if it's an old photo. Men ALWAYS lie about their height in my experience - not once have I met a man on-line who is as tall as he says he is. I try to be honest and current with photo and physical information.

And agree on meeting in public, communicating beforehand gathering enough information to verify and doing a background check on them; even if it's just to see they are honest with what they tell me. You can find an awful lot on-line here; some cities are pretty digital now.

But the two weirdest dates ever - met a guy, never married, nice looking, stable and outdoorsy, in 40s like me. Had a drink and nice stroll in a popular outdoor shopping center w/ fountain, live music, etc.

Decide to have dinner where I let him drive me to the restaurant (left my car back at original place and I carry concealed .44) and he had two totally looser guy friends "by coincidence" at the restaurant (I think he wanted to show off that he had a date).

Nice enough time, drove me back to my car, leans over to kiss me and kisses like a helicopter with lock jaw all the while sliding his hand up my thigh under my skirt within the first 2 seconds. I put my hand on top of his to stop that action and break off the kiss politely and thank him for the evening, had a good time, etc. It didn't really hurt my feelings that he never called or emailed after that.

Second guy met out for drinks, had a decent enough time, was a gentleman. Walked to his office to show me what he did (still armed!) had a nice time. Planned a second date to tour wineries and take a picnic. I was to bring a desert, he was bringing the rest.

We tour 3 wineries, enjoy the afternoon, at a stop sign at crossroads he leans over to kiss me, nice. I ask when/where we're going to stop for picnic dinner. He says "I forgot it". Boy was I naive! I guess he was implying he was the main course, I was desert? Oddly he remember the BLANKET. He had loaded the car while I sat in the passenger seat so I had assumed the food was in the back. Well all I've had since breakfast is wine and oyster crackers, so I nonchalantly say "well we can get back to town by turning here and getting on the freeway in 2 miles..." he takes the hint and we head back. I'm thinking maybe we'll stop for dinner since it's another hour but no, back to his place where I left my car.

I go in to use the bathroom and he asks me to sit, I figure I'll make polite conversation then grab fast food on the way home. He wastes no time going for a makeout session but after a couple kisses I stand up and say I'm heading home and go to grab the bite-sized fruit filled pastries I had brought for desert and he asks if he can keep half! I say sure (rolling eyes), leave half on a plate and get the heck out of there. He calls again and I say I just didn't feel any chemistry but I'm thinking to myself what a cheap, sleazy dude.

That story became infamous around my friends and he was ever after known as the food-less picnic dude.

 

[Soifon]

I met my SO on a dating site and we now have a child and a great relationship. We talked for quite a while but I knew right away that he was different. I had my fair share of weirdos.

One guy initially sent me an email saying he hated all the get to know you back and forth so if I would please fill out this questionaire...what is your favorite color, favorite band, blah blah blah. I laughed really hard and would have ignored him but I had to tell him that he was crazy and would never meet someone that way. He immediately back peddled, apologizing asking if he could start over.

Then another jerk tried contacting me and I could tell right away he was looking for sex, not a relationship. He said one of his friends told him to try online dating sites and I asked him if he really wanted a relationship. He said yes, I told him to get real with me and I wouldn't hold it against him if he was just looking for sex. I think he took that as a green light and he admitted yeah he just wanted to hook up. Never talked to him again.

The best was this complete *******, we met at the mall just to see if we wanted to bother going on a date. The entire time we were walking around he was pointing out people talking **** loud enough for them to hear him. Making fun of how women were dressed, how "fat" guys were. Yet he was losing his hair and had a beer gut, not at all like how his pic looked. I told him he was being rude and he told me that I was uptight and didn't know how to have fun. We just looked at each other with pure hatred and turned and walked in separate directions.

I think for as many crazy losers there are out there at least we all walk away with some really funny experiences. There are good guys out there on dating sites though. Unfortunately there is a lot to weed through. If a guy had a pic with no shirt on he immediately went to my block list lol.

 

[Homemaker_Numero_Uno]

I'm pretty good at weeding them out as well. Free sites are full of cheap losers and married men. Paid sites have better quality men but even there one has to be careful.

I can tell by clothing or hairstyles very often if it's an old photo. Men ALWAYS lie about their height in my experience - not once have I met a man on-line who is as tall as he says he is. I try to be honest and current with photo and physical information.

And agree on meeting in public, communicating beforehand gathering enough information to verify and doing a background check on them; even if it's just to see they are honest with what they tell me. You can find an awful lot on-line here; some cities are pretty digital now.

But the two weirdest dates ever - met a guy, never married, nice looking, stable and outdoorsy, in 40s like me. Had a drink and nice stroll in a popular outdoor shopping center w/ fountain, live music, etc.

Decide to have dinner where I let him drive me to the restaurant (left my car back at original place and I carry concealed .44) and he had two totally looser guy friends "by coincidence" at the restaurant (I think he wanted to show off that he had a date).

Nice enough time, drove me back to my car, leans over to kiss me and kisses like a helicopter with lock jaw all the while sliding his hand up my thigh under my skirt within the first 2 seconds. I put my hand on top of his to stop that action and break off the kiss politely and thank him for the evening, had a good time, etc. It didn't really hurt my feelings that he never called or emailed after that.

Second guy met out for drinks, had a decent enough time, was a gentleman. Walked to his office to show me what he did (still armed!) had a nice time. Planned a second date to tour wineries and take a picnic. I was to bring a desert, he was bringing the rest.

We tour 3 wineries, enjoy the afternoon, at a stop sign at crossroads he leans over to kiss me, nice. I ask when/where we're going to stop for picnic dinner. He says "I forgot it". Boy was I naive! I guess he was implying he was the main course, I was desert? Oddly he remember the BLANKET. He had loaded the car while I sat in the passenger seat so I had assumed the food was in the back. Well all I've had since breakfast is wine and oyster crackers, so I nonchalantly say "well we can get back to town by turning here and getting on the freeway in 2 miles..." he takes the hint and we head back. I'm thinking maybe we'll stop for dinner since it's another hour but no, back to his place where I left my car.

I go in to use the bathroom and he asks me to sit, I figure I'll make polite conversation then grab fast food on the way home. He wastes no time going for a makeout session but after a couple kisses I stand up and say I'm heading home and go to grab the bite-sized fruit filled pastries I had brought for desert and he asks if he can keep half! I say sure (rolling eyes), leave half on a plate and get the heck out of there. He calls again and I say I just didn't feel any chemistry but I'm thinking to myself what a cheap, sleazy dude.

That story became infamous around my friends and he was ever after known as the food-less picnic dude.

LOL. I went on a picnic date and brought my own food. Sure enough all he had was a power bar. We got to a point in mountain biking where I told him to go ahead and to double-back, I was going to take a break and rest and eat. I did and when he came back he ate his power bar. I did offer him a bit of mine. But I didn't count on him to bring anything for me, and glad I didn't. I'm into self-care. To this day, he is very much unaware of other people's needs. If I were going over to his place for dinner, I'd always have a snack in advance, because it can take him forever to get to the food point and it really does seem to be based on when he is hungry vs. when guests might be hungy. Lack of awareness of other's needs. It did get to be an issue. We're still talking about it, although I haven't seen him for over a week. one of the reasons he liked me is that I don't let him get away with sh*t.

But lying, no he never lied. He failed to mention just how fragile he really is, but I'm not real sure he's aware of that himself. He substitutes that feeling out for anger and depression. If he lies it's to himself, and other people suffer the collateral damage.