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"Now as some of you know I remain in my marriage due to my child."

So why do you care what she does?
So yeah, THIS. Do we assume that she has a history of cheating?
 

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Well, the good thing about all this (and maybe the only good thing) is that if you are looking for the perfect reason to bail out of the marriage, letting her go have an affair with the helicopter pilot kind of gets you off the hook for any responsibility for the demise of the marriage.
 

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Does the pilot fly his own helicopter? If not, his boss won't like him giving free rides. That's an expensive piece of equipment to fly.

Tell your wife that she should not have accepted the gift.
Tell your wife you're going to her workplace so she can introduce you to him.
Tell her you're meeting this guy (with or without her permission).
And you're returning his gift in person...or she can do it with you present.
You need to introduce yourself to the OM ...let him know 'who' you are and that she's your wife.

Even though you're both in the marriage for the kid, you each have an obligation to act adult, be civil and respect one another - as a role model and to provide a safe home for your child. Teasing, flirting, insulting, swearing at one another is not appropriate.
 

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Hi all I am a married man. Now as some of you know I remain in my marriage due to my child. I know, not a good reason, nevertheless that is why I am still in it I tell myself. A couple of years ago a guy where my wife works gave her a small gift. It was related to his work and consisted of a duffel bag with logo, baseball cap and a t-shirt. She likes flying and this gift had logos of the company he worked for printed on it. He is a aircraft crew member. I did not think to much of it, although if a man gives a woman a gift there is almost always something behind it IMO.


Obviously she has been speaking with this guy when he comes to the hospital every now and then with the helicopter.

Yesterday, she said to me "that big cute guy said I could go for a ride with him in the helicopter sometime." Now I don't believe she intended to use the word "cute" as soon as she said it the look on her face turned to shock. I did not say anything other than "that's cool" as I also was a shocked about her choice of words. I even said to myself she cant have said cute maybe she said huge. Nope, my daughter looked at her mom and said "who is cute." So I know what I heard.

Obviously this is a HUGE red flag. Well I think it is. I spoke to a buddy of mine this morning and he said keep mouth shut and eyes and ears open. Which is what I am doing. Any other suggestions?

Red flag? There's a MUCH bigger one. In fact, MANY bigger ones. They all point at you and beg the question "why do you stay married"? It's not for the kid - your phrase "I tell myself.." says you don't believe it. So there's nothing there to stay glued to. "mouth shut and ears open" is exactly what a person does to an enemy. You do not act like someone who should stay.

Move on.
 

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Hi all I am a married man. Now as some of you know I remain in my marriage due to my child. I know, not a good reason, nevertheless that is why I am still in it I tell myself. A couple of years ago a guy where my wife works gave her a small gift. It was related to his work and consisted of a duffel bag with logo, baseball cap and a t-shirt. She likes flying and this gift had logos of the company he worked for printed on it. He is a aircraft crew member. I did not think to much of it, although if a man gives a woman a gift there is almost always something behind it IMO.

Obviously she has been speaking with this guy when he comes to the hospital every now and then with the helicopter.

Yesterday, she said to me "that big cute guy said I could go for a ride with him in the helicopter sometime." Now I don't believe she intended to use the word "cute" as soon as she said it the look on her face turned to shock. I did not say anything other than "that's cool" as I also was a shocked about her choice of words. I even said to myself she cant have said cute maybe she said huge. Nope, my daughter looked at her mom and said "who is cute." So I know what I heard.

Obviously this is a HUGE red flag. Well I think it is. I spoke to a buddy of mine this morning and he said keep mouth shut and eyes and ears open. Which is what I am doing. Any other suggestions?
No I am worried that he and my wife are attracted to one another and an affair may be in the works. As a married man I would never invite a married woman out, even if it is a night flight in a helicopter, nor would I give a woman gifts.

Am I overreacting do you think?
"Well, if your marriage is just for show, why does it even matter to you?"

This
Let me understand, you are staying in the marriage for the kid, yeah bad idea. However, you are concerned that you wife may be having an affair.

Well yes she probably is, or is fixing to, and she really thinks you are stupid by the way, the way that she brought it up.

So yeah, mouth shut eyes open, check her phone, VAR and all of that.

But I am with @personofinterest and everyone else... Why do you care?

Let's ask some other questions:

1) Do you want out of the marriage and are you looking for a good reason?

2) Why do you want out and besides the child, why have you not tried to move on?

3) Do you want to work on the marriage, or is it just dead to you.

4) Do you actually love your wife?

5) Do you guys have any type of sex life?

I would really like to know the answers to all of those questions. It would give us all a clearer picture.

But yeah, she is either banging this guy or wants too, which means she will...
 

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Is this how you really want to spend the rest of your life??

I’m sorry and good luck
AMEN.

I would take the 'love pouch' with the company logo on it, pack it with clothes and bathroom items......and tell her not to come back. maybe even throw in a scenic charter helicopter flight for two (using her credit card of course).
 

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AMEN.

I would take the 'love pouch' with the company logo on it, pack it with clothes and bathroom items......and tell her not to come back. maybe even throw in a scenic charter helicopter flight for two (using her credit card of course).
Hey, that is a really good idea.

I still wonder why he cares though....
 

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Yeah, a cute big guy that gives gifts and offers night time helicopter rides to married ladies he meets at work... Nah, nothing to worry about. YOu're overreacting. Just give the guy a box of condoms and tell him good luck with your wife, since he's made it clear what he's after and you don't enjoy competing for your wife with other men-- but don't want to raise kids who aren't yours. Shame him, shame her.

Cute big guy with the helicopter. Geez. Does it get any more obvious?
 

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I would take the 'love pouch' with the company logo on it, pack it with clothes and bathroom items......and tell her not to come back. maybe even throw in a scenic charter helicopter flight for two (using her credit card of course).
Put the fire and pitchforks away. Reading only this thread, all we know is that 2 years ago she took company logo gifts from the other man ("OM"), and that the OM offered to fly her around (which the wife told the husband about to see if he would object). This is not nearly enough to assume an affair. This is enough to assume that the OM is pursuing the OP's wife, and she enjoys the attention.

I agree with those saying to put an end to it now, but not with those that already have the OM man banging the wife like a drum.
 

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Put the fire and pitchforks away. Reading only this thread, all we know is that 2 years ago she took company logo gifts from the other man ("OM"), and that the OM offered to fly her around (which the wife told the husband about to see if he would object). This is not nearly enough to assume an affair. This is enough to assume that the OM is pursuing the OP's wife, and she enjoys the attention.

I agree with those saying to put an end to it now, but not with those that already have the OM man banging the wife like a drum.
I think this is recent. But either way, we both know that she is completely out of line.
 

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Put the fire and pitchforks away. Reading only this thread, all we know is that 2 years ago she took company logo gifts from the other man ("OM"), and that the OM offered to fly her around (which the wife told the husband about to see if he would object). This is not nearly enough to assume an affair. This is enough to assume that the OM is pursuing the OP's wife, and she enjoys the attention.

I agree with those saying to put an end to it now, but not with those that already have the OM man banging the wife like a drum.
Why does she accept gifts and want to go fly around with another man she describes as cute?

She is shopping. She may have already bought the new car.
 

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Now if she said "That big cute guy said I could go for a ride with him in the helicopter sometime" and you know he's 5'8" and 150 lbs, that would shownuff be a red flag.
 
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