[KnK]

I was just wondering who on this site ever feels the need to make a thread but backs out due to fear of bashing?

I know most people here are sincerely for giving advice and I for one am all for honest , point blank opinions on my threads but I have noticed so replies can be pretty harsh. Condemning and even shaming the poster.

So this caused my curiosity to flare up and made me wonder "Who here may be afraid to post"?

 

[Emerald]

Honestly, if I were a cheating wife or a wife who has low sexual desire for her husband (which I am LOL), I wouldn't post on TAM.

 

[Prodigal]

Depends on the poster's perspective. Some people roll with the punches. After all, total strangers who bash someone is a lot different than family members. As I say, "Someone else's opinion of me is none of my business."

The people who get the toughest treatment? Those who come on here looking to get some sort of approval giving them a free pass to start up or continue an EA and/or PA. Don't think they'll find sympathy for that ...

 

[KnK]

Honestly, if I were a cheating wife or a wife who has low sexual desire for her husband (which I am LOL), I wouldn't post on TAM.

I am fairly new and not sure what TAM , therefore I can't respond to this just yet!

 

[HopelesslyJaded]

I even started a thread once that opened up with the words "I debated whether to post this or not" yeah it went pretty much how I was afraid it was. Not that I didn't want thought provoking replies but yeah it can get pretty judgemental quick. I think sometimes it's because the topic may be a trigger.

 

[YinPrincess]

I get "gun-shy" every so often...
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[Numb in Ohio]

TAM = Talk About Marriage

 

[chillymorn]

the thing is some come here saying their looking for advice but what they really want is someone to say your not that bad your spouce deserved for you to cheat on them or to refuse them sex for years. is ok we can all feel good now.

but thats only how it work in disney movies or children sports where everybody get a trophy!

the real world is a lot less forgiving and much ulgier.

 

[KnK]

I even started a thread once that opened up with the words "I debated whether to post this or not" yeah it went pretty much how I was afraid it was. Not that I didn't want thought provoking replies but yeah it can get pretty judgemental quick. I think sometimes it's because the topic may be a trigger.

I actually seen that post I believe and I understand fully what you mean!

 

[KnK]

the thing is some come here saying their looking for advice but what they really want is someone to say your not that bad your spouce deserved for you to cheat on them or to refuse them sex for years. is ok we can all feel good now.

but thats only how it work in disney movies or children sports where everybody get a trophy!

the real world is a lot less forgiving and much ulgier.

I have seen threads such as this and I understand the response these certain posts would get but I have also seen some where negative comments were completely out of place!

 

[CharlieParker]

You have to know, you may not like answers you get. That's not a bad thing. Just don't PAO (pull an ostrich), stick your head in the sand.

 

[wiigirl]

I get "gun-shy" every so often...
Posted via Mobile Device

I am sometimes too....then I realize its just the internet.

 

[Trying2figureitout]

Yeah i'm afraid... roll eyes

 

[costa200]

Honestly, if I were a cheating wife or a wife who has low sexual desire for her husband (which I am LOL), I wouldn't post on TAM.

Sometimes its more about the whole demeanor than the actual situation. Lets say if you are a cheating wife and you come here looking for help to make emends and trying to get yourself straighten out, you probably will get some harsh comments but mostly helpful advice. But if you come here and start blabbing about how you cheated because your husband didn't put out the trash and the other guy had a bigger penis or something, then you are going to get crucified.

 

[Michie]

Honestly, if I were a cheating wife or a wife who has low sexual desire for her husband (which I am LOL), I wouldn't post on TAM.

Yeah those threads get slaughtered.

I still haven't posted my story, not out of fear from TAMers
More the pain is to raw.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[GetTough]

I have seen threads such as this and I understand the response these certain posts would get but I have also seen some where negative comments were completely out of place!

I'm SO not concerned about what people think or say to me on here. In fact, the only way a person learns is by listening to people who disagree with them. If you open yourself up to that, you're inviting the whole bell curve of opposing views. Those range from the mildly challenging to the angry tirade. C'est la vie. The cave you fear to enter contains the treasure you seek.

More significant is the potential for postingz on the internetz to find their way into court motions.

 

[romantic_guy]

Well, people are...people! There are some in this world who are kind and really want to help and there are some who are jackasses! I even had one who was sick of hearing how good our marriage is! WHATEVER! I guess you just have to post and when they reply consider the source!

 

[Prodigal]

People tend to be judgmental. I look at myself. I look at other people. We all make judgment calls. Is it right to do? No necessarily, but there are folks on here who have their own personal "triggers." There are certain things that trigger me to go for the throat at times. But that is my problem and my issue.

In reality, some of the harsh responses are people reacting to their own situations, and not that of the poster.

 

[SimplyAmorous]

GetTough said: The cave you fear to enter contains the treasure you seek.

I love this comment... I feel sometimes our critics are the source of our deepest salvation. ...if we are daring enough to be open to what they are saying. But Oh how it matters the spirit in which these responses are given.

Then many times....others truly need empathy & compassion on what they are dealing with at home, or what brought them to this place they feel like screaming or getting close to jumping a fence even....... Feeling truly heard & understood ...is what we all seek.

I really appreciate when people are openly honest, even if it may be a really sticky thought, regret, desire, belief, whatever... one should be able to post here about ANYTHING... after all, this is what makes anonymous forums such a blessing. None of these people can touch you in real life. You can let your hair down and see how others TRULY feel - if they were in your shoes. Can't do that on FB !!

But then ....yeah... people are people... get ready for the floodgates of opinions, many are answering out of their own hurts and past experiences.

Hold on for the ride...