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Discussion Starter #1
Hi All:

I won't bore you with all of the details as you've no doubt read them all 100 times before. Walk-away wife walked away about three months ago after 10 years. She said she was "done", ILYBNILWY, wanted a divorce and wanted "nothing" except for it to be over quickly. I asked if there was someone else in her life. She looked me square in the eyes and said "No." She lied, but still doesn't know that I know. I was devastated and moped around hopelessly for a few weeks; however, once I found this site and read a couple of books, I've been able to turn myself around and realize this is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's an alcoholic, physically abusive, narcissistic, and BPD. I'm lucky to have my life back. Divorce will be final in a couple of weeks--oh yeah, she changed her tune on "wanting nothing" by the way.

However, there is one thing that is truly bothering me. I believe I have to have some resolution before I can truly move forward with my life: figuring out "who" she was/is having an affair with. I know the when and where, but I can't figure out who. We both live in a small town and work typical 8-5 jobs. She keeps sneaking out of town on Sunday nights to a major city about three hours away. She goes into one of three nearby buildings and doesn't leave until very early on Monday, to get to work on time. I know where she parks, as I've seen her car there, but I don't know which building she goes into. I have searched over 1000 property records and have only one very, very weak link/suspected OM.

I think the OM is married as they do not go out of the apartment/condo when she visits, the visits are infrequent, every two-three weeks, and he doesn't "walk her to the car" via a PI. He's at a loss on how to figure this out as well.

I have no access to her cell phone, computer, iPad, credit cards, etc anymore. She's also laid claim to all of the friends and I can't trust any of the guys, as they would tell their wives and it would get right back to her that I know something is going on. So the typical methods are out of the question.

Yes, I realize figuring who isn't going to change anything, but it would just be nice settle it once and for all. I'm not even interested in outing her/destroying her life as she'll take care of that on her own. All I want to do is to satisfy my curiosity, and let her know that she didn't get away with it.

So, any thoughts on how to figure out this mystery?

Thanks
 

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You could hire a PI I guess. Assuming it is really that important to you. I wouldn't, not sure what that will provide to you since the course is set. Save the cash and spend it on yourself or invest in some IC if you want/need to.

based on your description... It sounds like you're about to be much better off without her in your life. Embrace it and you will find happiness.

Best wishes
WD
 

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Mug her.... Sunday night go over, wear a mask and mug her, take her purse and wallet. Smash her windshield so she can't drive.

See who tows her car...might beable to get an address.

If she calls the cops she will have to tell them were she was going or who she was visiting. Get the police report and you have your answer.
 

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PI has already been hired and struck out... Mr. The Guy--not a bad idea, but I don't do well in confined environments. I'm thinking of something a bit more white collar. Best idea that I've come up with is letting the air out of a tire on a Sunday night as it's still my car, technically. When she goes to leave early on Monday morning, maybe she'll call Mr. Wonderful for assistance. There are, of course, a couple of issues with this strategy. 1) She probably wouldn't notice the flat tire for 100 miles on the freeway as she'd be too busy staring at herself in the mirror and 2) She might actually change the tire herself. Remote possibility, albeit, as it would require being able to read the instructions.
 

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Just let it go, unless infidelity can become an advantage to your divorce proceedings. If in a no-fault state, you have minimal upside to pursuing this (you know who it is) but the downside is large (time, money, effort).
 

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LOL ya thats some hard time in county if your lucky, but even if you end up in state...the way the prisons are over crowded you might get out in 6 months.

So....lets get one of the chips you but in pets and pay off her doctor to inject her.....a little more white collar?
 

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The car trouble seems like a good avenue.
Lets forget the tires and think electric...if you have the spare key pull the fuses or steal the battery?

If you vandilize your own property...well then you can still smash the winshield making it driveable hence a police report.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
TG: Electric has been considered, but I think it would be too obvious. Fuses don't just fall out. Battery cables don't loosen themselves. It's a new car so the lights all shut off before draining the battery.

Plan: Evidence could be very beneficial, although as it stands now, there's no need. All could change in the next couple of weeks. Dry powder would be very helpful if necessary.
 

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Poeple get there car battery stolen all the time. so your right things just don't fall out, but thing do loosen up and get taken.

So the PI can't follow her into a building under the pretence of being a residence? Then switch tails to another PI to get a floor, then switch a tail to get a room numbers.

With the right team anything is possible.....
 

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What if you took all her closest friends and dragged them in to court...for conspiricy or allienation of affection? Then someone spills the bean to protect them selves?

Report her missing Sunday night....cops find car... cops question OM...?????
 

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Discussion Starter #11
All three of the building possibilities have 24-hour doormen, and card access only. She has a card, as it's been tried. Right team is forthcoming, as I'll have four friends, unknown to her available in a couple of weeks.
 

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Plan9 makes a good point...in fact month from now, her new friend that she starts to indroduce everyone too would be your guy.

But then again he's married.

Funny thing about secrets, its just a matter of time before they come out.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
On the court thing, complicated and expensive, but several of her friends are "professionals" that could lose their licenses for perjury. I was thinking dissapation of marital assets would be my back-up plan. Good idea, as anything can be subpeoned... I'd rather keep it out of the courts, and just let her know that she didn't get away with it.
 

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These door guys are making 30 k a year at best....a few hundred bucks might get you in.

Maybe your starting point is recon on the door guys, find something to keep door guys busy and you have an in?


Hell maybe some of these door guys went through infidelity and would love to help you out?
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Nothing is impossible, especially when you're a Type A... Great idea on the door guy. Sunday night door guy turned down five bills just to let someone in the owner's parking lot... Was able to get in anyway, and yielded nothing.
 

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We need a plan............

We got 3 locations.
Priority #1 is eliminate other 2 locations

Now we have a specific door guy.


Screw the garage, you need to get in the lobby. Once in the lobby you can get a floor. Once on the floor you can get a room number.

Maybe a ruckous is in order to get past the door guy and to the elevators. Holloween is a few days away, it might be a good time to get some of the specifics dialed in. The bigest specifi is which building do you focus on.
 
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