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Absolutely not. I would ask for more details from her.
 

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If a woman contacted you over Facebook and told you your spouse cheated several years ago, but he denies it, would you be able to completely let it go?
No. But there are two ways of looking at this:-

1) My husband had an affair. She will have to provide proof.
2) My husband did not have an affair. So why is this woman lying to me?
 

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No, I would not be able to let it go. It would eat at me until I made myself sick. I would ask her for more info. What's her motivation for dropping a bomb like that on you?
 

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I recently spoke to his ex wife to confess to her. She then told me he was a serial cheat and told me stories of what he and his now wife did to her while he was married to her. It enraged me because he said he had never done it before. I was so dumb and naive. I had felt guilt and held the secret for so long I just had to let it out.
Forgive me for being slow. So, what you are saying is his current wife was the affair partner that broke up his first marriage? And now the current wife doesn't believe that her husband could cheat on her, since he came up with such a great excuse? If so, that is rich!
 

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What proof did you give her? Or was it just your word?
 

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I'm the woman he cheated with 4 years ago and I recently confessed. I'm certain that he denied it but it is true. I'm just wondering if what i said had any change in her mind - do you think she just let it go or do you think there is doubt now?
If some random dude called me to tell me my wife cheated on me the year we were engaged 4 or 5 yr ago I'd tell him to f/o.

Why? because he's a sh1t disturber. I got plenty of those in RL.
Esp if I had no reason to doubt.
 

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I recently spoke to his ex wife to confess to her. She then told me he was a serial cheat ... It enraged me because he said he had never done it before.

So you were motivated by revenge then? Of course she knows he is a cheat if he cheated with her while he was with his first wife.
 

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I think this new wife should consider herself no better than Leanne Rimes, and have the same insecurities. She was an affair partner, therefore, she can expect the karma bus to pull in front of her house at any time. With the exception of wife #1, I have an uncle who married every affair partner who ruined the previous marriage. He is on wife #4.
 

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Yes that is what I'm saying...she helped him cheat on his first wife and then he cheated with me. I messaged her and she seemed to believe me....then after talking to him she said to quit stalking her and get a life. I was only trying to help her, I didn't know he was a serial cheat.

What I am asking though, is do you think this has upset her? Even if he denies it, do you think she has doubt in her mind now? I told her what goes around comes around. He cheated with me while he was engaged to this woman.



So 4 years ago he cheated with you while he was engaged....Now you're stirring this up? Why do you care at this point?
 

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How did your relationship with him end?

You cheated with him when he was with his first wife?

Or when he was engaged to his second wife?

Or both?
 

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I was motivated by wanting to tell the truth. And I felt that she had a right to know - I bet he has dome it since, he is a Dr. after all.
What does him being a doctor have to do with anything?
 

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Dr. and his current wife are both cheaters, correct?

Maybe she is cheating on him right now with a different doctor who makes more money, so she doesn't care so much if he's cheating on her.
 

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It bothered me all these years but I didn't deal with it. I knew of his ex wife and messaged her with the confession. Then she told me all about his past and how he is a serial liar/cheat. I found out things he had told me were a total lie and it upset me. I feel better now that I let the toxic secret out.
You have let her know. It should not be a surprise to her because she already knows he's a cheater.

If she chooses to stay with him anyway that's her business.

Now it's time for you to let go and move on.
 

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It ended when he got married. I was naive and lonely and I got sucked in. He cheated on his fiance (now his second wife) with me. His second wife helped him cheat on his first wife. I told her what goes around comes around.
What do you mean when you say that she "helped him cheat on his first wife"?

Did he cheat with her? Or did she help him cheat with someone else?
 

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I was motivated by wanting to tell the truth. And I felt that she had a right to know - I bet he has dome it since, he is a Dr. after all.
Don't feel quilty. You exposed what he did and that's what you should have done. Now it's not on your problem any more whether his wife believes him or not. She surely won't have blind trust and will pay attention.
 

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OK, so if I have this straight, he lied to you when you slept with him - you appear not to have known he was engaged. You also didn't know that he was a serial cheat or that his fiancee had cheated with him in his marriage to his ex-wife. So, the guilt gets to you, you contact the ex-wife, who tells you all about his cheating ways & the role the new wife played in the breakup of her marriage. So, now you're not motivated primarily by guilt but by anger, so you message the new wife, who appears now to have swallowed the husband's lies. Is that about right?

I think, first, that independent of their bad characters, they weren't married when this happened. I'm old school and don't consider that adultery. Second, you've done your duty re informing the new wife that her H is a lying cheat. Apparently, she already knows this; if she thinks he's only that way with the women before her and that she's 'special,' well, then, the karma bus is clearly headed her way.

This is no longer your business. Leave it alone. You can't make him stop being such an effective liar & you can't stop her from buying his lies. Nor should you think it's your place anymore.
 
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