Reconcilied. Close to three years after I busted my wife's 5 months full blown romantic, sexual, marriage killer affair.
Hi Acabado. I'm not familiar with your story. You are among the ones that helped but didn't get to read their stories.
Did the pain lessen with time ? Do you still get angry at your wife for what happened ? What made you stick with her ?
Hi...it's Dig. I'm 44 and Regret is 42. We're working on reconciliation after her 5 year long PA.
It ain't f'ng easy, but then again life can be tough. I woke up on the correct side of the dirt this morning. Hoping to do the same tomorrow.
Hi Dig, I read your threads and seen your exchange with Regret. I really hope you continue on your healing process.
I can only imagine how reconcilation is difficult. But it seems to me tha you're on the good path.
BP, fiance was in an EA. I'm so glad I found this message board. I didn't know asking to see e-mails, text messages and so on is not too much to ask for when reconciling.
I'm glad that we had this crisis sooner and before marriage than later and after marriage.
I felt that my exH had carried on inappropriately with several women, he was extremely callous towards me about it. He then checked out of the marriage and had an exit affair.
So now I feel like I am on a mission. I am so annoyed by women who is insist on remaining friends with ex's whether of the long term or fly by night kind. And I am annoyed by men who go along with it and think it's cool.
As I mentioned before, I'm on another relationship message board. I noticed one poster a few years ago who said that he had femal friends and if his wife/ the mother of his child did not get along with them, that would be a dealbreaker. This year on the board, he announced that he was getting a divorce. I pm'ed him to ask him if my memory was correct and was that the reason he was getting a divorce. And he wrote back, saying yes that was correct.
This does not bode will for family life.
I changed my whole idea of opposite sex friends while being in this forum. I was very outgoing with married women before and didn't think more of it.
Honestly, I occasionally had some sexual thoughts about them, but that's all they were. I just put it under the raw human subconscious mechanism but now I'm doubting my reasoning more than ever. I certainly won't be as comfortable with my partner having male friends as I was before.
Mankind suck but individuals can be great. That was my motto. Now, I'm not sure anymore.
Exit affairs are just the lowest level a human being can crawl into. You couldn't be more of an as*h*ole than that.
Is he the same person that had an emotional affair before marriage ? And how did you know about it ? Did you bust him or did he come clean?
I will answer your questions in order best I can. The other guy was more than happy to climb on top of me and do his business. Most people don't understand why I didn't say anything. I was in shock and hurt for one. There were so many things going through my mind at that time. One was I was worried about making a scene. We were staying at their house and we were 2 hours from home. I was hurt and I just laid there like a dead starfish and turned my head and tried not to look at what my husband was doing. Which wasn't easy because the OM kept turning my head and saying stuff about what my husband was doing because I guess he thought it was hot.
Husband apologized and showed remorse as soon as the next day. I kind of avoided the subject for a couple weeks. Then when I tried to sit down and talk about it he got angry and acted like he was the "most" hurt I guess. This angered me tremendously. When my affection for him waned then he decided that maybe he needed to talk but then I didn't. This was like 2 or 3 months later. He has suggested counseling. I have heard too many quack stories about them.
Keeping him sexually satisfied had always been very important to me. And being the one and only since we met and feeling like I fully satisfied his needs made me feel superior and that feeling is what fed my passion for him. He killed that that night. And to make it worse it's like a movie that replays over and over. Sometimes it's when we have sex and sometimes it's just random times when I am watching tv. But it's there and I can't make it go away.
I think you should try therapy for yourself. You're carrying a lot of burden.
I understand what you mean but feeling superior by pleasing your husband. I learned the hard way that bending over backward to someone would only make him take you for granted. Sad but true.
I mean no disrespect for your husband, but he really should eat s*** for what he's put you through. And I didn't even know that the other man used you.
Don't get me started on the movie replays. And again, I wasn't there. I went to see the other man on facebook and saw a picture of him in a swimsuit. Very out of shape and hairy dude. I spent so many nights begging my brain to stop bringing mental pictures of him with my ex wife. Just the thought that I was trying to touch her skin after she had her stand sickens me.
But, I honestly think you should start therapy because it's obviously consuming you. You're done way more than enough to expect the utmost respect and efforts.
Betrayed wife here, 34 years old married 9.5 years, together for 14 years. 3 kids 9,7, and 4 years old. He was not happy and not getting his needs meet. She paid attention to him.
Reconciling with husband, for 7 months. DDay 3/1/12.
Was it a physical affair ? And how long did it last ?
Not getting his needs met is just an excuse. You're his wife, not his servant. It's his job to make you want to meet his needs but I'm sure you're aware about all of that.
How the reconciliation is going ?
