Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 1 of 1 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
7 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am trying to recover from a very abusive relationship. We weren't married, but were together for many years. I have been trying to get away for years, and have only managed to get away this time because of a restraining order.

A few months ago, after he got really physical with me and I threatened to call the police, he warned me not to. He has been in jail for domestic violence charges many times against other people. He said he knows the system and he knows how to get them to arrest me instead. Well, I called the police anyway after escaping the house when he was threatening me with a kitchen knife. I was so scared and traumatized I didn't articulate to the police what happened. Well, his manipulation was out in full swing, and I got arrested.

Now, I'm going through an unbelievable amount of legal crap, and I'm going through it alone. He says I deserve it because I threatened to call the cops on him, so he had no choice but to lie to the police.

I guess my point is, I am so hung up on this guy I can't move on with my life. He is SO MEAN to me, I am constantly blaming myself and trying to figure out how to change my behavior so he will treat me well. I need his approval so much, even now that we're separated, that I will drive myself crazy. One of his common behaviors is telling me that I'm a piece of s***, and he is going to hang up on me but he wants me to continue to call and text him my apologies. When he thinks I'm sorry enough, he will respond. If I don't continue to call and text for hours, sometimes days, I am accused of being with another man.

Even though he's really jealous, he has been with many other women and doesn't bother to hide it. He told me he was with 7-8 other women that he met online while I was out of town on business. He said that I deserved it because I didn't pay for him to come along on the trip. He has been with dozens of women (that I know of) since the beginning of the relationship. I never tried to stop him, I just tried to get him to love me more.

I am so worn down emotionally from this relationship, I don't know how to let go of needing his approval. I don't know how to start rebuilding my confidence. He has been abusing me since I was barely an adult (he's much older), I feel like I don't know who I am without him. Sorry for the rambling post, but I really need advice on how to start healing.
 
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top