But to bring it up later with spouse & say... "I wanted to say xxx to you when we were fighting last month". Not too much. but sometimes.
(But my marriage isn't the best, so don't really read above as "advice" .
Just questioning wether you were talking about saying stuff after a conversation is over... Bringing it up again after you have thought of a good comeback??)
Ex "thought" he knew me...he didn't. I always felt unheard...with good reason I think. I did put in a last ditch effort there at the end, my version of a rebuttal speech I think. Too late to be effective tho.
On the other hand... it led me to a new awesome life, with a new awesome man who HEARS me, and pretty much makes me tell him what I need to say. It took awhile to trust him to listen, and to trust myself and "us" to just let it out. It is definitely worth the effort.
Communication is everything. If you can't say what you think, or what you feel... to the one person who is supposed to be closest to you in the whole world.... then wtf are you doing? Ya, I know... been there, done that. Now I know the difference...and it MATTERS!
gBrad .... Listen to that_girl (she rocks) and talk. I know all about reactions being an absolute pain in the butt however, you truly put yourself in a no-win situation when you stuff it.
Here's the bottom line as I see it. You have to do one of two things:
1. Spit it out and deal with whatever the reaction is. Believe me, I know all about negative reactions - I have gotten SLAMMED multiple times for saying the most innocent things.
2. Let it go (as opposed to stuffing it) and never bring it up. If you stuff it, your opportunity to bring it up is gone. In reality it's not fair to her.
I spent most of my marriage being afraid to talk because I got slammed so often when I shared how I felt (yeah, that sucks - you shouldn't get slammed for saying how you feel). I was honestly afraid of losing the relationship. I've let go of that fear and I have no idea if my marriage will survive but at least I'm saying how I feel and giving her the opportunity to do something different in the future. If the marriage doesn't survive at least she won't be able to say, "Why didn't you tell me???????????"
You owe her this opportunity and the longer you wait and the more you stuff, the worse it gets.