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An hour ago we were sitting at the dinner table. My wife shoves her wine glass in my face. I told her that I'm not her servant. She got mad and is now pouting upstairs and not taking to me.
A good flushing of her tear ducts could be beneficial.
Take her some cheese to have with her whine.
 

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I probably worded that far too harshly than I could have, but I stand by everything I said. And those marriage vows were designed for a society in which people lived much shorter lives and women were at the mercy of men to survive. It was incredibly rare for a woman to have enough money of her own to not need to rely on a man's commitment to her. Women had to be owned and taken care of by either a father or a husband, and if the man wasn't dedicated to them then they would likely suffer for it. In return, they remained loyal to the man and gave him children. The vows in front of God, family and friends gave her some reassurance of that and it was a pretty good arrangement for both genders at the time (at least better than the alternatives).

Women do not need that protection today. We have just as much freedom as a man to go out and earn our own money. Marriage is more of a nicety than anything else. A cutural expectation left over from when it was a life or death requirement. If a couple divorce, it generally hurts the man far more than it does the woman. Women tend to do quite well out of it, which is why marriage is something gold-diggers try to push for as soon as they can.

The difficulty you are having in 'giving up on commitment' is a combination of 'trauma bonding' and 'sunk cost fallacy'. I would advise you to research both of those.

Sorry, but I would have far more respect for you if you came out and said you didn't want to divorce because you'd miss the sex and don't want to hand over half of your hard earned wealth. Those two I could at least understand.
Well I wouldn't miss the sex, I'd have more, and although yes it would be galling to lose the house, especially as I work form home and have a cool home office, that is not the reason I've stayed. I'm not bothered about your respect, no offence intended, but I am bothered about my self-respect, and I do need to challenge my wife about her commitment. It's a 2-way contract after all.
 
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