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I am curious how the rest of your marriage ticks.

How is he with your kids?
Are you still in love with him?
How is your sex life?
Do you enjoy your free time together?
Do you have a lot in common?

I would definitely find your own voice and start putting your foot down. My H leads our family. I’m fine with that. I want that. BUT, if he ever starts saying something that even remotely feels like he might be talking down to me...I remind him...”If you wanted a doormat, you chose poorly. You better knock it off, right now.” That wakes him right up.

Find your voice thru reading, friends, family, therapy, whatever. Then start using it. If he doesn’t change, then you have to make a decision on the rest of your life.
 

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Discussion Starter #22
He is very hard on our kids. It’s his way or the highway. My kids love him dearly but I feel they are s are did him. Our sex life is nonexistent, and everyone I try to do a date night he doesn’t want to spend the money. We do well and can afford to do stuff together alone like, dinner, vacation alone, date nights, etc... he just doesn’t have the interest. His excuse is, we don’t need to spend the money, yet he buys steroids monthly. I guess that’s what’s most important to him. I spoke with an attorney already. Just trying to figure out the next step! Thanks so much!
 

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Discussion Starter #23
Spicy

He is very hard on our kids. It’s his way or the highway. My kids love him dearly but I feel they are s are did him. Our sex life is nonexistent, and everyone I try to do a date night he doesn’t want to spend the money. We do well and can afford to do stuff together alone like, dinner, vacation alone, date nights, etc... he just doesn’t have the interest. His excuse is, we don’t need to spend the money, yet he buys steroids monthly. I guess that’s what’s most important to him. I spoke with an attorney already. Just trying to figure out the next step! Thanks so much!
 

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Melissa ...... your on the right track! Stick with the lawyer!

No person should have to go through life being disrespected ..... much less by their spouse!!
 

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He is very hard on our kids. It’s his way or the highway. My kids love him dearly but I feel they are s are did him. Our sex life is nonexistent, and everyone I try to do a date night he doesn’t want to spend the money. We do well and can afford to do stuff together alone like, dinner, vacation alone, date nights, etc... he just doesn’t have the interest. His excuse is, we don’t need to spend the money, yet he buys steroids monthly. I guess that’s what’s most important to him. I spoke with an attorney already. Just trying to figure out the next step! Thanks so much!
I’m sorry to read all of this Melissa. I’m not sure there is much here to save.
 

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You cannot save a marriage with an angry, controlling man. Why the hell would you even want to?? I am so glad you already spoke to an attorney, you seem to be moving in the right direction. Get a plan in place and get out of this marriage.
 

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He is very hard on our kids. It’s his way or the highway. My kids love him dearly but I feel they are s are did him. Our sex life is nonexistent, and everyone I try to do a date night he doesn’t want to spend the money. We do well and can afford to do stuff together alone like, dinner, vacation alone, date nights, etc... he just doesn’t have the interest. His excuse is, we don’t need to spend the money, yet he buys steroids monthly. I guess that’s what’s most important to him. I spoke with an attorney already. Just trying to figure out the next step! Thanks so much!
Has your husband ever done things when he's angry like punch the wall or any object, broken or thrown objects, hit, pushed are angrily grabbed you? Does is he physical when angry with the children?

The next step is to provide the info that the lawyer wants so that the lawyer can file as soon as possible.

Also get copies (or originals) of all important financial and legal paperwork and store them in a safe place where you husband cannot get them. Do not deprive him of them.... meaning make sure he also has a copy of them all. When I did this, I rented a small climate controlled storage room. If you cannot do this, see if a friend or family member who let you store the paperwork at their place.

If you do not already have a separate bank account, open one and use an address other than your home address. Then start moving money into your account.

If you have a job then get your paycheck direct deposited into your personal bank account.
 
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