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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My wife and I have been together for eight years. The 19th will be our sixth year of marriage. I would say we were both experienced people having been in relationships before. I never had a woman respond to me the way my wife has. It would seem she would do anything to please me. I really felt like she was crazy about me. What can I say I use to feel very loved. In the past I was not always the best giver. I had some problems with medication addiction (Something she knew about from the start, and something that is over now) that would leave me withdrawn or angry/insecure. I have been giving my self over to her. Mind, body and soul. I am so in love with my wife, she is amazing to me and our children. She is one of those woman who's figure was not affected by having children and she seems to get more beautiful to me as time goes by. Our love life has really slowed down the past few years. When ever I am being affectionate I feel as if she will start a fight or make an excuse so she does not have to be intimate. She does not seem as turned on as she use to before and during. She blames that on worrying if our children will wake up.
I consider my self to be an intuitive person. It is something in her eyes. She almost looks annoyed with me at times. I have a bad feeling she might like another. is there any signs I can look for, or someone could suggest to help me figure out why she has been distant. I don't want to loose her. I just want that level of love back. Could it be that as she grows older (Only 28) that she is maturing and falling out of love with me (32)? I am bad at this and not the type of guy to write in. I'm just worried.

Thanks in advance
 

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Could it be that she is holding resentment of some sort? Overwhelmed with being a wife and mother and maybe feeling unsupported in some ways? I would suggest reading The 5 Love Languages by Chapman. It may give you some insight as to why she is feeling distant/disconnected from you.

If you do feel it may be someone else, has she talked about another man (ie a guy from work she seems to talk about a lot) or does she seem different spending more time on herself before leaving the house? Going out more often than normal where you question what she's doing? If you don't see clear signs here, it may well just be that the two of you need to re-connect.
 

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Hey, lovinghusband. I'm a generation older than you and I can tell you that we guys definitely lose the romantic aspect of things if we're not really careful. It happens without us even knowing it, even when we are told repeatedly. I don't know what all you've tried in order to get things back on track but just be sure to watch for the small things. They may come as hints, actually and not seem important. Just be ready to recognize signs of opportunity and remember that women don't communicate exactly the same as men. We guys just say what we mean, no more, no less. Women are different. Hope my two cents worth helps.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Re-connect would be nice for her. I am very connected. If she ever did cheat it would really blow my mind. She does not seem like the type. I stay home with our two boy's five and 1 1/2 years while she teaches during the day. I would say I am 50% more involved with my children than most husbands. Not to mention cooking cleaning etc, the nights I am home. We have a very sharing relationship when it comes to running the house. Maybe it is some resentment from the past, I just don't know. It always seems like when you care more, the other person cares less. Something seems real off and when I ask her about it or try to talk about it she gets very, very annoyed and looks at me like I am stupid. I am walking on egg shells. The other night after making love I felt as if she could not wait to get out of the bed. I am a good looking fit 32 year old, I'm not some couch potato. I just don't know, guess I'll have to try talking about it again with her.

Thanks for the reading suggestion and the reply
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Hey, lovinghusband. I'm a generation older than you and I can tell you that we guys definitely lose the romantic aspect of things if we're not really careful. It happens without us even knowing it, even when we are told repeatedly. I don't know what all you've tried in order to get things back on track but just be sure to watch for the small things. They may come as hints, actually and not seem important. Just be ready to recognize signs of opportunity and remember that women don't communicate exactly the same as men. We guys just say what we mean, no more, no less. Women are different. Hope my two cents worth helps.
That did help allot! unlike some guys. I try very hard to let her know she is beautiful and loved. Perhaps it is just stress. :scratchhead: Maybe I need to level up in my communications skills.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 · (Edited)
Re-connect would be nice for her. I am very connected. /QUOTE]

Personally, as a woman, this would drive me crazy. This statement says "I am OK but she is not".

I bet she has a different point of view.
I know that may have sounded bad. It is just my level of frustration. I am very connected and willing to communicate. Last night she basically said she is very stressed. We are closing on a new home tomorrow. She said she loves me more than than anything. Lack of sleep :sleeping: and stress is what she says. I have to take her word on it. What else can I do.

As for work. I instruct self defense and am in alternative medicine. I go back to school in the fall to complete my teaching degree.
 

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I would have to agree with pigpen. Of course from your point of view there is nothing wrong with you. But maybe from her point of view there is. Definitely pick up that book as mentioned by swedish to give you some great insight. Maybe you're just not interacting with her in a way that she comprehends.

Another thing that I try to do with everyone I speak with is never ever to place the blame on them. Even if it was clearly their misunderstanding, I will still say something to the effect that I mustn't have explained good enough, and not well, you didn't understand that. That will automatically throw up walls of defenses b/c in a way you're attacking them, or at least that's how it is perceived.
 

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You are closing on a house. Wow if that wouldn't stress me out as a wife I don't know what would. Of course it could be the kids and their activities (LOL) I agree with communication and to continue to show love and affection but I know when I have things going on being attentive to me isn't taking the stress off. Maybe helping her around the house by not being asked might take some pressure off. I can look annoyed when I am over-whelmed with the kids and my husband gives me a kiss while watching the baseball game with his feet up. It is not that he isn't being kind and affectionate, it is that I am working the whole 3 hours that a baseball game is on. Just a made up example to try and explain why I would feel annoyed. I could be just babbling but maybe it will help help you see what mind, body and spirit can encompass :)
 
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