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It's odd, to me, to know for a fact that sometimes people (it's been women in my life experience) can transfer affection to someone else when they are still in love with the "original" (whether an ex or a crush or whatever). That's what it sounds like may have happened in your case. She took you on to keep him from getting under her skin, but since they have a kid (I surmise), he's always going to be around.

Digressing now.... I'm lucky in that respect as my beautiful wife's ex never had interest in their daughter. Doesn't sound like it makes the daughter lucky but then again, you've never met the dude....
 
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