Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 7 of 7 Posts

· Registered
Joined
·
30 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
In my recent thread, I discussed with you guys about my wife possibly having an affair with her ex (my stepdaughters father). After the good useful advice you guys gave me and installing a VAR in her car, I caught her red handed. I confronted her about it, never revealing my resources and told her that I know and theres no reason to lie. Well, she tried to lie at first and then she finally came clean.
On the Recorder, she calls him the love of her life! She talks about him all the time to her friends and when she talks about me, she complains about what I'm not doing and makes me look bad. She picks him up in OUR car while I'm at work and spends the day with him. All her friends (who I liked) knew about this affair. I know she hasen't had sex with him because she told her friends that she's not having sex with anyone random but, if she decided that, it would be with him.
I'm emotiionally destroyed. My question is, When I confronted her about it yesterday, she was completely upset, saying she's sorry, it was a mistake, she didn't want to leave her marriage and so forth. Today she is being a total (excuse me ladies) bit--! She tells me that our marriage was destroyed long before this. That her affair has nothing to do with the problems in our marriage. She says she's innocent and that it could have been worse, she could have had sex with him. She shut down on me, she wont talk to me. She won't let me vent and get things off my chest. She says she doesn't care anymore, she should have left a long time ago, because now my focus is on the affair and not the problems we already had.
What the hell! how did all this get turned around on me? How did I end up being the bad guy? I feel betrayed, belittled, and scorned and all she can do is flip the blame! I hate her for that. Now I can't get anything from her but sarcasm an anger. Why is she not the remorceful wife like before? The car that she drives(and also drove him around in) is past due for inspection. I put it in the shop yesterday to get it inspected. In the meantime she has no car. She has the freaking nerve to tell me today that she can't believe I waited this long to get the car inspected. and that she is going to start taking care of things herself. WTF!!!!! I said if I wasen't an emotional wreck all month dealing with your lies and trying to find out the truth, I would have had time to inspect the car. What gives!
 

· Registered
Joined
·
30 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Also, I told her that she broke my heart, and since she didn't have sex with him, maybe we can get counciling and work on our problems and all. My wife is not the type to accept restrictions and guidlines, but I told her in order for us to even have a chance, she has to cut permanent communication with her ex. I know that they have a daughter together but all that is going to be delt through me now. I'm going to be involved in every conversation that they have and all. She says... that is so stupid! how is that gonna work. If she has to say something to him she is going to say it. What!
 

· Registered
Joined
·
30 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks, you are right, pleading does no good. I'll focus on the 180. I've been reading up on it already. Now its time to apply it. She has been so disrespectful to me its sickening.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
30 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Our marriage had its ups and down, but I never emotionally or physically abused her. I thought I was the ideal husband. I worked 7 days a week, she worked part time. We have a stepdaughter together. Yeah, I do t think she's over him. The way she talked about him was really irritating! She just loves this dude. I'm done!
Posted via Mobile Device
 

· Registered
Joined
·
30 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Try: I understand, that makes total sense. I think I've been the fool long enough. It's time to file. Truth really hurts.
Lovemytruck: I'm not doing well at all! I'm emotionally sick! I can't believe my WIFE, my love, has betrayed me like this! I called the OM last night and I wanted war! I think it's denial dude. People are really that cold. My WIFE is really that cold. I could NEVER be her second string and live with that. Thanks for the reality check.
Acabado: thanks for the advice
Posted via Mobile Device
 

· Registered
Joined
·
30 Posts
Discussion Starter · #29 ·
TRy: I definitely wont call that POS anymore
the guy: I see her mindset and you didn't confuse me. Makes total sense. I continued to record her yesterday and I check the recorder last night. She tells him about all our issues, even after I called this POS the other day! She asks him to come save her!.....and asks him for advice about our marriage. This Shlt is almost comical!
Machiavelli: I am 33 years old. Yeah, I'm sure my game is off. We are over.
jnjexpress: She actually agreed to pay half the bills. I give her the cold shoulder. I'm currently applying the 180. I'm not mad anymore, I just feel the size of an ant.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
30 Posts
Discussion Starter · #33 ·
WD: Thanks.
Natural Heart: According to her, he use to physically abuse her and he was a serial cheater.
Machiavelli: Yeah, I'm moving on. It IS some beautiful honest women out there.. I've always been into working out. My max bench is 300. Thanks for the advice.
Again, thanks guys for being there for me in this time of need. This forum is awesome!
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top