A few months ago I posted this:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...n/55278-i-think-im-being-taken-advantage.html
Since then things have changed somewhat. He has stopped playing the WoW game, and has began to contribute a bit more financially (I pay 80% he pays 20%). I do still do 80-90% of the housework. He's started taking me out and has paid on those occasions.
But there's also been some setbacks. After he threatened suicide, I took him to a psychiatrist who diagnosed him as being bipolar. In addition to medication it was also recommended that he see a therapist. (I also began seeing one) He went for a month, then began lying about going as well as taking medication.
So, after the affair and him lying about seeing the doctor, I'm not sure when he can be trusted. I've also seen him do some sneaky maneuvers with his business partners to take money from the business.
Anyway, that's part of the issue. The other part is that I've started talking to another man. Originally, I met him over the summer, had a really strong connection, realized what I was doing was wrong and ended it. But he contacted me last month and we've started talking again. It's difficult because he has so many qualities I admire, and there's a huge difference in regards to his level of maturity versus my husband's. Though I haven't slept with this man, I have kissed him.
The problem is, I'm not sure if I feel guilty. The other problem is I'm longing for intimacy. Though I've initiated, I've been shot down on every attempt with my husband. Even on Christmas! He says he's too tired, but then stays up until 2am watching TV. He's only initiated once in the past couple of months, and it was a night I got home really late and he knew I was dead tired.
I told my therapist and she told me I should pay attention to the qualities that attract me to the other man. She also thought, since my husband has made changes, to evaluate his progress in three months, since for the 15 years I've been with him, his nature has been consistent.
I'm not really sure what my question is here... maybe wondering what others might do in this situation.
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...n/55278-i-think-im-being-taken-advantage.html
Since then things have changed somewhat. He has stopped playing the WoW game, and has began to contribute a bit more financially (I pay 80% he pays 20%). I do still do 80-90% of the housework. He's started taking me out and has paid on those occasions.
But there's also been some setbacks. After he threatened suicide, I took him to a psychiatrist who diagnosed him as being bipolar. In addition to medication it was also recommended that he see a therapist. (I also began seeing one) He went for a month, then began lying about going as well as taking medication.
So, after the affair and him lying about seeing the doctor, I'm not sure when he can be trusted. I've also seen him do some sneaky maneuvers with his business partners to take money from the business.
Anyway, that's part of the issue. The other part is that I've started talking to another man. Originally, I met him over the summer, had a really strong connection, realized what I was doing was wrong and ended it. But he contacted me last month and we've started talking again. It's difficult because he has so many qualities I admire, and there's a huge difference in regards to his level of maturity versus my husband's. Though I haven't slept with this man, I have kissed him.
The problem is, I'm not sure if I feel guilty. The other problem is I'm longing for intimacy. Though I've initiated, I've been shot down on every attempt with my husband. Even on Christmas! He says he's too tired, but then stays up until 2am watching TV. He's only initiated once in the past couple of months, and it was a night I got home really late and he knew I was dead tired.
I told my therapist and she told me I should pay attention to the qualities that attract me to the other man. She also thought, since my husband has made changes, to evaluate his progress in three months, since for the 15 years I've been with him, his nature has been consistent.
I'm not really sure what my question is here... maybe wondering what others might do in this situation.