confused

Sure it could be "just" an ego boost for him. A lot of affairs are about ego boosts. Or he could be having real feelings for her.

Your husband is having what is called an emotional affair (EA). You have put up with this nonsense for far too long.

I aasume you oare living with him. Is this correct?

How long have the two of you been together?

Since the two of you are not even married you might want to seriously end your relationship with him. He does not have proper boundaries and seems to have no consideration for you. Is this what you want?

There are things that can be done to recover a relationship. Step one is that he was to completely end all contact with her forever. This means that he writes her a no-contact letter (there are sample ones on the internet) and then you are there with him when he sends it. If she contact him, he has to tell you and he cannot reply to her.

If he has any contact with her again it's considered re-starting the affair and should mean he gets kicked out.

You need to stop believing this nonsense he's feeding you. It's so transparent. You blieve it because you don't want to know the truth. She's obviously coming over to your house when you are at work.

If you want more solid evidence there are ways to get it. For example get a VAR (voice activated recorder) and hide it in your house...like in the front room/living room. Maybe put one in the bedroom. Then when he's not around see if you got anything on it.

A friend of mine caught her husband cheating with a VAR under their bed. He was having an affair and bringing the woman over to have sex in their bed when my friend was at work.

Another good place for a VAR is in the car. A lot of people talk on the cell with their affair partners while driving to and from work. If you do this use heavy duty velcro to secure the var to a hidden surface in the car.

If you use a VAR do not let him get his hands on the recording. Make copies of it and save it off somewhere.

Another thing you can do is to put a keylogger on his computer. You can find out his passwords that way and see what he's really doing on line.