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This is my first time here and I hope this forum works out for me, as I hope I can post and reply frequently here. I will start out with this one issue we have. My wife hates my mother because, as she says, she is hateful, rude, mean and inconsiderate. To some extent I will agree with the mean part, she will say what is on her mind without reservation most times. BUT, my wife is the exact same. My wife will spout out without concern of what she is saying and without concern that it will hurt anybodys feelings. She will jump to conclusions very quickly, and they are usaully the wrong conclusions and it is very hard to convince her that she is. Anyways, my parents were over for christmas, dinner was fine and we were socializing in the living room afterwards, and they were not staying long after that. My wife, chose to clean up the kitchen and join us. I think that was rude in itself. She did not come out when my parents were handing out our gift to us. Finally my mom, who just wants to get along with my wife and not have any friction, picks up some dirty plates from the table and took them to the kitchen to help my wife. I wispered to my mom to just leave her alone, and my mom wispered back, "I am not going to be rude and leave all this for her to do". My wife was civil with her but after they left she told me SHE thought my mom was rude by being defiant when i asked her to just leave her alone. My wife was angry at me for not keeping my mom out of "her" kitchen. (I do 99% of the cooking here).
Is my wife right? Should I have forced my mother to stay out of the kitchen? BTW...I dont know how to inform my mother that my wife hates her and thinks she is mean, rude, and inconsiderate, and oh, spiteful. She is 70 and truthfully not half as bad as my wife tries to make her out to be. My wife says I should put my mother in her place by scolding her and yelling at her. Please help!
 

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I hate to say this but, unless your mother was just trying to push your wife's buttons by helping, then you wife sounds like the rude, inconsiderate one here.
 
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