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If she’s playing competitively then she will need to have out of game communication in order to plan when to be on, fill in for missing players, and strategize there is no way around it.
They can communicate over voice coms, like Discord, where other people are also communicating. No need to give out social media or private numbers when you can chat in real time with other people around. Technically, it's not "in game" but it's a system that most people use for WoW, because the in game voice thing sucks.
 

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As a married woman, is what she is doing wrong because of how it makes me feel or is it just wrong? Am I wrong in thinking that if these guys don't feel weird about talking to a married woman outside the game, it's not because they just want to be friends?
A married woman with many male friends means one thing - she has many replacements for you.

No these guys don't feel weird about talking to a married woman outside the game. They are well on their way to her bed. She gave them personal contact information, they didn't have to ask. They have a pretty good idea where this is likely to lead. These guys don't have to be better than every other guy to have sex with your wife. They just have to be more appealing than you. To some extent they must be otherwise your wife wouldn't be sharing personal contact information.

Your wife does not respect or love you to be indulging in this behavior. Any boundaries you attempt to set will be ineffective as will trying to reason with her. Consequences are another matter.

Assume and act as if she is already lost to you. You will gain nothing by pleading, begging, or attempting to reason with her. It will diminish your value in her eyes and drive her into the arms of one of these online hopefuls.

Speak with a lawyer and have divorce papers drawn up.

However you choose to move from here be prepared and willing to follow through.

1) if you want to open strongly file for divorce and have her served. Do not entertain any possibility of reconciliation until she has proved she is worthy. Do not halt the process or consider reconciliation until the divorce is almost complete and she has proven worthy. How does she prove worthy. She does everything in her power to prove she is trustworthy to you. She voluntarily stops playing these games and communicating with other men. She needs to figure out where she is going wrong. She needs to demonstrate she wants the marriage more for than just a roof over her head. You decide what criteria is acceptable.

alternatively

2)Leave the divorce papers somewhere your wife can easily discover them on her own. Let her come to you. When she does you tell her that since does not respect you or the marriage and she would prefer to have other men in her life she is now free. All she has to do is sign the divorce papers. Advise her she can stall and lie if she chooses that will merely encourage you to file regardless. Be prepared to follow through if she thinks you are bluffing. The rest is the same as above. She still has to earn the gift of reconciliation.

There are many other ways to deal with this going forward but to be effective your wife must suffer consequences of one variety or another. You must place your interests first and not settle for her or her poor behavior. You must be prepared to move on and leave her behind.

Frankly when a woman loses love, respect and attraction to her husband the marriage is done. Nothing you can do on your own will revive it. She either wants to be with you or she doesn't. It is non-negotiable. Right now it sounds like you are being kept around to pay the bills and keep the food on the table. If you are not your wife's priority then you are an option, a place holder, plan B until something better comes along.
 

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I do not. I have not asked for it, though. Are you a guy or girl? I would like the female perspective of this situation, because I think most guys would feel the same way you do, and I know if I was responding rather thank asking I would probably feel the same way, and not sure that is really fair.
I am a guy -- but that doesn't negate the advice -- and you can see from women who responded, they feel that same.
Sorry but your wife is manipulating you so that she can continue to get her giggles from other men.
 

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Yes, you are being controlling. Of course you are. You have a RIGHT to be controlling, so long as you're married to her. She doesn't want you to see what she's doing. It sounds bad, to me.
 
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Let's cut to the chase. Your wife is FOS and you know it. If you are not cool with it tell her and see how she reacts. But if you are not going to have any consequences if she blows you off then don't waste your time because then you will show her that you don't mean what you say.

Passive men get cheated on. Period.

I would tell her nicely to cut it out, if she doesn't then I would let her know she is not doing damage to the marriage.

If she wants to have suitors she can do that - Not married.

Here is the thing, some women can't keep hold of faithful men, they just don't have the stuff. They just self destruct.
 
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Some people are fine with their partners maintaining OS friendships, some aren't. The problem arises when someone who is gets into a relationship with someone who isn't. It seems like that's what's going on in your marriage, OP. And, honestly, its a point of incompatibility that can be very hard to overcome.

OP, do you give out your personal information to single women you meet? Do you have female friends you communicate privately with on a social level?

If you do, then you don't really have standing to tell your wife to knock off doing the same thing. But, if you don't, then it's perfectly reasonable to have a healthy boundary in your marriage of 'no opposite sex friends'.

Your wife might not like that boundary or be willing to respect it, but it's your boundary and will be up to you to decide what to do if she keeps stomping all over it. I think you should probably think it through and be really clear on whether you're willing to be in a relationship with someone who maintains opposite sex friendships. If you can live with it, then you'll need to figure out a way to be okay with her friends and her behavior. If you're not okay with it but still aren't willing to leave over it, then you'll still need to figure out a way to be okay with her friends and her behavior. Or, you can decide you're not okay with it and figure out what you want to do from there.
 
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Nobody has the right to be controlling of another.
If you consider reasonable boundaries to be controlling, then you are, in fact, an anarchist.
 

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This is blatant disrespect. You are not being controlling or unreasonable. She is showing you where you rank in importance in her life. You’ve already been cheated on once in the past, do not roll over and passively let her walk all over you. If this is how she acts toward you, she really isn’t worth sticking around and fighting for.


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I was referring to controlling in general not to this situation, in response to something that was posted by someone else.
 
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