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My marriage is in shambles. My husband has cheated on me and has been wanting us to break up because he wants to single, date other people and do things without having to be accountable to anyone. He’s been distant, sometimes mean to me and angry. He’s still active on dating sites. Yes, I know a lot of people would say that I should let him go.
Deep in my heart, I can’t because I love him too much. I know that he has his demons but deep down inside, he has a good heart and that is the reason why I want to stay with him and fix this. He is my first serious boyfriend and has been with him for 5 years. Our 3rd wedding anniversary is coming up. I agreed to give him a 2 month hall pass but I don’t know how it will work out for us. I need some support and advice. My mind says leave but my heart and my faith says stay with him. I tried the 180 but I cannot stop telling and showing my husband that I love him. It is not in my nature.
you are only married for a 3 years and he is pulling this ****! Please do yourself a big favour and get rid of this good for nothing jerk. If he is doing this at this stage in your life, he will be doing it again at 10, 15 20 years down the road. You can do way better.
I know you love him, want to cling on to him, etc but get your self-respect girl and go scorched earth on his ass.
Get your ducks in a row,
Start doing a hard 180 on him, no contact, no crying weeping, no begging, nothing. Act as if you believe every word he says and you are moving on. This is to help you detach. You must do this. He is not lovable right now. This may sound counter intuitive but if you show strength now and refuse to be a doormat there is a better chance of saving the marriage. No hall passes. Tell him if he wants a break you are moving to divorce immediately.
Go see a lawyer, get the divorce papers and give them to him. He wants to go out and do a trial run and still have you as the back up plan. You are worth more than this, please please do not do this.
Tell all your families and friends about what is happening, expose, expose, expose his behavior, do NOT cover for him
See a counsellor or therapist to help you get through this mess
Get support from a close sibling or girlfriend.
Go and get STD tested, the SOB has cheated and he could have passed something nasty to you (let him know you are doing this)
Do not give him any hall passes cause if you do, it is sending the message that he can treat you any way he wants and you will be the willing door mat, hell no! If he comes back, it will only be worse the next time around, and there will be a next time.
Play your cards right now.