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I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I sounds very bad.

Do you have any children? With your wife?

Why are you trying so hard to hold this together with a woman who clearly only cares about herself?

She will continue to mistreat you as long as you allow it.

You say that she controls the money and gets angry at you if you spend any money on yourself. But she blows it all on drugs. Do you have a job?

What portion of your joint income do you earn?
 

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Sorry you are in this situation


My advice is to get your paychecks direct deposited to a new account that is in your name only.

Second, get any and all of her family and friends to help you confront her about her addiction

Finally, talk to a lawyer ASAP and prepare for the worst.

Good luck and stay strong
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I don't know. it just sounds so pathetic and needy to me. and even if it's TRUE I dont want to sound that way. And I hate to say bad things about someone I have loved so dearly. I dont feel the same anymore, but I dint want to slam her. Shes had a tuff life also, one thing she had to endure I just canr imagine going through. I'll keep that private for now. But she has had it hard. But she does this stuff knowing she hurts me. Yet she tells herself ahea protecting the person she lies too. Because she made mistakes and those mistakes would hurt if u or whoever knew. Well I'm not an idiot. I do know and lying hurts worse. So now I'm hurt AND I cant trust you. make sense? She is so self centered its unreal. Sure, if she has plenty of something then she will share with anyone and everyone. But when it comes to her meds, or money. Nah, she all about self. I could tell you things you would not believe, and would shock you. I mean she is just out of control. Getting friends and family together to help? nah, Her father gives her his meds. He helps her and her sister. I have asked them to help me talk to her and they just say shes grown. friends? We as a couple have none and she doesnt like being around people much. She wants me staying at home. we do nothing at all, but if we split, shes at the lake, camping, hiking, dancing, bars., you name it. I suggest those and it's like she doesnt want us seen together in her home town, nor other places. and I just dont get that. I'm no mr GQ but I'm an ok looking guy, Thin, built, dark hair blue eyes, I mean I get compliments. .So I dont get it. sits like shea scared we will run into someone shes messed with while apart is what I figure. Why do i stay? because i dont believe in divorce really, and I loved her enough to marry her, but things have changed, she just wont stop lying. So I dont know. That's a really good question.

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Discussion Starter #6
By the way No we have no children together. I have mine that are grown and she has hers.

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You mentioned her job in another thread. Do you have a job?

I get that you don't want to say bad things about someone you love. But it's also important that you be able to get support for a bad situation.

Do you have any family or friends around you?
 

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Since you deleted your post, there is some info that would help that might have been in that post. How long did you date her before you married her? Also how old are the two of you? How long have you two been married?

It sounds like since the time you married her, you have found out who she really is. It often takes some years to find out who a person really is. I know I've been through it as I married a guy who i dated for 5 years but after we married he turned into someone very different. We are divorced now because of that.

Have you considered divorcing her? She is not going to change. What you see now is who she really is.
 
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