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Last week I decided to write down my thoughts and feelings and share them with my husband.

We have never really communicated well and I especially have a hard time verbalizing my feelings face to face. I am working on it, but I think it will always be a work in progress kind of thing. Hence the letter.

I am not going to get into our issues because there are so many variables it is hard to box in so I'm not even going to try.

Communication is the main factor. Because we don't really communicate verbally our deepest feelings as a couple...about being a couple.

But lately, I've been able to make small steps and verbalize some of my feelings and frustrations. I can express my needs.

It is working. He is listening. He's not talking or responding with words to what I am saying. But his actions are giving me what I want.

I am happy that he is listening, but disappointed that he is still not opening up.

Should I proceed with the letter anyway? I've written it three times and each time it runs away on me with all the past frustration, hurts and resentments. I can't give that to him. It's like a time bomb. I feel like it will just take us 10 steps back if I share all that. He will think I am attacking him.

Now i'm thinking instead I should send a letter of appreciation for his efforts and listening to what my needs are and trying to meet them. Let him know this is a great start and be encouraging for it to continue.

My perspective changes daily. I don't know if we truly are on a new path or if I am being delusional. I'm so messed up.
 

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Sounds like you are doing the right thing.

Take a look at the links in my signature block for building a passionate marriage. "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busters" would really help you step through this process of openning up communications learning to meet each others needs.
 
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