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Me and my husband were high school sweethearts. We started dating when I was 16 and he was 17 and got married early at 21. We are now 25 and have almost been married 4 years now. Just recently my husband came to me and told me that he thinks we have grown apart. That he doesn't know if he wants to be married. If he wants to be with me.

Then 3 days ago I found him chatting with a girl from his work where she was saying "I wish you were my man." This girl has a bf. I confronted both of them about it and both say that they are just friends. that what she said was just a wish, but she acknowledges that it was wrong to say to a married man. they both agreed to stop talking. I want to trust my husband, but all the doubts I ever had now are surfacing and im beginning to turn into the kind of woman I hate...checking his e-mail and phone to make sure they arent talking.

I know our marriage wasnt perfect but I never saw this coming. And now he just keeps ignoring the issue and telling me he doesnt know what to do. He continues to tell me that he loves me more then he can say, and acts like nothing happened when we are together. he keeps saying that its not about not loving me, that he just wonders if we are meant to be together. Its been a few days of this now and its tearing me apart.

I want to say that I will stick it out no matter what because I love him but I just dont know if waiting around for him to choose if the right choice either.

Need advice...
 

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You have been married too young, when people are young, they don't know who they are, they don't know what they want.

People always confuse infatuation and love together. It is easy for us to be infatuated with each other at the beginning of the relationship, but the relationship turns to love or not depends. Usually couples who experience tests tend to have strong relationships.

Right now it is a big test for you and your husband. It is not he doesn't love you anymore, your relationship is at the dull point, if you and your husband manage it well, you will love each other more after this test. If you don't, you might end up at a bad end.

A lot of people's marriages experience this stage, the dull stage. You have to be calm.

Do you and your husband have interesting conversation together often? Do you and your husband try to be different about sex? Find out what your husband is interested and focus on those things.

Checking on him won't help your situation improve, if he wants to cheat, there are many ways. Trying to control him won't help your situation either, he will just become more annoyed.

From now on, focus on making yourself a confident woman. You are still young and pretty, wear beautiful make up, dress up nicely and sexy, talk seductively with soft voice, be horny in bed........

Men are actually easy to conquer. 1: Be a porn star in bed for him and conquer him by sex. 2: be an organized and happy woman!!!
 

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As people grow apart, they look for comfort with others. This can take the form of just talking things out or going further than that.

If you both love each other, why not try counseling? If nothing else, it will help get all the feeling out (on both sides) and you can see whether or not he really wants to make it work.
 

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Me and my husband were high school sweethearts. We started dating when I was 16 and he was 17 and got married early at 21. We are now 25 and have almost been married 4 years now. Just recently my husband came to me and told me that he thinks we have grown apart. That he doesn't know if he wants to be married. If he wants to be with me.

Then 3 days ago I found him chatting with a girl from his work where she was saying "I wish you were my man." This girl has a bf. I confronted both of them about it and both say that they are just friends. that what she said was just a wish, but she acknowledges that it was wrong to say to a married man. they both agreed to stop talking. I want to trust my husband, but all the doubts I ever had now are surfacing and im beginning to turn into the kind of woman I hate...checking his e-mail and phone to make sure they arent talking.

I know our marriage wasnt perfect but I never saw this coming. And now he just keeps ignoring the issue and telling me he doesnt know what to do. He continues to tell me that he loves me more then he can say, and acts like nothing happened when we are together. he keeps saying that its not about not loving me, that he just wonders if we are meant to be together. Its been a few days of this now and its tearing me apart.

I want to say that I will stick it out no matter what because I love him but I just dont know if waiting around for him to choose if the right choice either.

Need advice...
Yes, you are indeed confused, and always have been confused. You married a guy from high school as if that was a good idea. You have the "special attraction" to him because you gave up your virginity to him. You strived at that time and during your life to age 21 to satisfy your personal desires with him, rather than forming and following solid principles of morality in your life and then operating from those regarding marriage.

Now, because you were not able to see years ago he was an idiot with no future for being a faithful life mate, you are paying the price. I am sure you even now listen to airhead shows like "Oprah" and "Wendy Williams" to "understand things."

If your husband respected you, was attracted to your character, and appreciated dignified loyalty to him from you he would not care about anything but loving you. You need to grow up.
 

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Me and my husband were high school sweethearts. We started dating when I was 16 and he was 17 and got married early at 21. We are now 25 and have almost been married 4 years now. Just recently my husband came to me and told me that he thinks we have grown apart. That he doesn't know if he wants to be married. If he wants to be with me.

Then 3 days ago I found him chatting with a girl from his work where she was saying "I wish you were my man." This girl has a bf. I confronted both of them about it and both say that they are just friends. that what she said was just a wish, but she acknowledges that it was wrong to say to a married man. they both agreed to stop talking. I want to trust my husband, but all the doubts I ever had now are surfacing and im beginning to turn into the kind of woman I hate...checking his e-mail and phone to make sure they arent talking.

I know our marriage wasnt perfect but I never saw this coming. And now he just keeps ignoring the issue and telling me he doesnt know what to do. He continues to tell me that he loves me more then he can say, and acts like nothing happened when we are together. he keeps saying that its not about not loving me, that he just wonders if we are meant to be together. Its been a few days of this now and its tearing me apart.

I want to say that I will stick it out no matter what because I love him but I just dont know if waiting around for him to choose if the right choice either.

Need advice...
VT,

Greenpearl hit it on the head when she said that you guys married too young. You don't say whether or not you have kids but if you don't, that's a good thing. I will tell you this, at 25, if he has not experienced anyone else, he probably wants to. He is saying that he does not know if you guys are meant to be together because he is trying to throw hints that he might leave or cheat. You have found out about the woman at his job. Yes, she told him that she wishes that he was her man but I would wager that your husband has fed her enough attention or affection to generate that statement. I also think that even if he ends his conmunication with his coworker, he will get into another similar situation with someone else. I say this because he is 25, has been with you since he was 17, and even though you are probably great, he cannot see it right now because you cannot offer what he wants right now.

My advice to you is to (mentally) give him a deadline to figure this out. Maybe you give him a month or however long you want. But you shouldn't have to pressure him or hold him at gunpoint to get him to make a decision and/or stay with you. Upon the deadline, if he has not changed, made a decision, or said that he wants to stay with you (and get some counseling), then you should leave and move on. You should find someone to be faithful to you and treat you how you want to be treated. Good luck.
 

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Collared a man before he soiled his oats eh? This marriage is still salvageable but it's going to require work and patience. I was still in the process of soiling my oats too until I managed to find myself collared and married wondering how it all happened.

But the thing is I did have some space during a long break to realise that I have something good that no other woman can compare with - that's what really made me decide to settle down. Perhaps it's best to split for a while until he gets his priorities straight, but that's just me.

Or you can *****whip him, but it's going to be a challenge. Don't know if you have it in you, but it's time to whip out the bad girl in you, make him realise losing you will be the worst mistake he'll ever make. Give him some competition if you know how to play the game right - never take it too far, balance is key.

YouTube - The Offspring I Want You Bad Lyrics
 

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You may have married earlier than most people feel comfortable doing, but it doesn't make you bad or a freak for having done so.

You and your husband can make it through this-if you both work to do so.

Being honest about the situation is key. Your husband may be hiding his full intentions towards this girl or maybe others.

You need to discreetly check up on him and also get into marriage counseling with him if you can.

BTW, he and she can still be communicating despite saying they are not.

Be strong.
 
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