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Confused about his behaviour

1222 Views 6 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  DT4379, 
D
So last night Fiance seemeed a little off but today he was okay the regulare telling me he loves me etc..Out of the blue he mentions a new young girl at work and that his boss never mentioned she was coming on site to work..Now he knows how I feel about when he talks about girls so why in the world would he bring this up in converstaion when we were not even talking about anything like that..I am so mad and pissed that he would do this again..Does he do it to test me as he knows how I can get insecure why would he do this again?? Please I need to understand this behaviour its driving me insane..I have overheard his conversations before about talking about he young girls at work and saying they are hot and have great asses etc thats just some of the stuff he has said..So my question is why and doe sthis mean he is trying to make me mad to start a fight again or is he testing me..Should I even marry this man if he is always talking about women
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I would be wary of marrying a man that talks about women like like they are objects while in front of you. Hot with great arses, yuk he sounds like a caveman.

I have no problem with my SO working with women or talking about them but his language is always professional and respectful.

You do sound insecure, he sounds immature, maybe marriage should wait for awhile to see if you are really compatible.
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D
Oh no he never said those things in front of me but he knows how I feel when he mentions a girl at work because of his past behaviour with one girl I felt he was getting to close to..
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Many (I won't say all) men talk like this. We enjoy looking at beautiful people. Fact of life. You have to be more secure with yourself and your relationship.

Too many relationships and marriages have tanked b/c of insecurity issues and trust issues when really there was no fear to be had in the first place.

My answer is so what. You know whenever I start dating a woman I have very little filter at all - this is because I'm trying to find someone who will let me be me and not put on a show or play a game (all within reason of course). I will test those first few dates by saying things to see how they react. If they bolt then they are not for me.

If down the road as feelings are more involved I say something that bothers them then we discuss it openly. From there I try to respect those boundaries with them. Maybe he is not doing that with you? That I can see to be an issue.

Just my opinion. May not work for everyone but he sounds like a normal guy if you ask me and if he loves you and you trust him then what is there to worry about?

I see the issue with past problems but they can happen at anytime - it is understandable. You don't want to go into marriage stressing every time he goes to work though.

Maybe I'm missing something?

Joe
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We have been together 3 years with many ups and down due to his drinking and flirting with women...I have always had trust issues but he made them worse so I finally broke up with him last year until he got his act togthere..He sai dhe would never lie to me again he did...He lied about bringing a girl to work she is just 20 ..I found out when his phoned dialed me and I cxould hear him talking to one of the guys about how she was streacting like a cat and he could see her underwera..He also said what a peice of gera she was etch..this hurt me and when i asked him if he had anything to tell me he flipped out..so maybe I have security issues iwth him as I feel he is always looking for something else..I dont know what to do
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Ok well those are major trust issues and I don't blame you on those. You have to really consider what to do. So far it appears this relationship has been rocky at best.

We can't decide for you. I understand if you love him and want to be with him but if he's doing all that and potentially running around on you then you shouldn't stand for that and want better.

It's one thing to look and perhaps make a few comments such oh she's a pretty girl or he's a good looking dude. But to apparently do it like he's doing would raise some concern in my eyes too.

Personally - this is what I would do. I'd run for the hills. No point in losing sleep when there could be a better person for me just around the corner. but so many of us are so afraid to be alone and deal with the hurt that we end up missing out on the right ones by being with the wrong ones.

good luck in your decisions but it sounds like you have a couple to make.

Joe
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Yes I do have a few decision to make and i have asked does he wnat to get out of this weding and he says no he is very happy...
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