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I confronted my husband today about emails that he sent 4 years ago (that I just found) inviting two single coworkers out for drinks. I had previously confronted him about propositioning his massage therapist when we were in a rough spot two months ago. For that infraction he apologized and asked forgiveness but justified it by saying he had "one foot out the door". He blew up, said I was a drama queen, that I had a penchant for being "up his ass every day" about things, that I was insecure, etc etc. He said he was leaving and that I was not worth the stress. I'm not sure what to do at this point. He is one of the most highly defensive people I know and basically is a verbal abuser. I stay with him because I don't want our family torn apart but now it appears he is moving out. I'm now regretting that I brought up the past emails but they were eating me alive; that combined with a few other lies he's told me lately and the fact that he went out for dinner and drinks last night with a male friend before his son's sport event and didn't even tell me until he was there (I assumed we were having a family dinner and then he would go to the event). At any rate, I am distraught that this went down this way and traumatized by the fact that he turned the whole thing around and blamed me when he was the one who was dishonest. He says he's never slept with anyone and I believe that but I'm not sure he hasn't tried.
 

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Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you going to get more evidence before confronting?

He did pretty much what you expected anyway. Move on. You're better off without him!
 

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He says he's never slept with anyone and I believe that but I'm not sure he hasn't tried.
You more than think he might have tried. You know he's tried. You know about the massage therapist, right?

Since you know he's tried to cheat on you, why would you believe him on whether or not he was successful? I mean, why would he admit his cheating to you? What could he possibly gain from it?

Do the 180. Stop hounding him. Prepare for divorce. He wants space from you. So give him lots and lots of space.

Good luck.
 

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It is not your fault that he is an a$$. Him trying to shift the blame to you just confirms just how big of one he is. You've done the right thing. Please continue to stand up for yourself and your values. Should he leave, you will be better off.
 
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