Hi,
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I love him and we've been through a lot together. I want to spend my life with him and thinking about that not happening is heart breaking. However, there is one issue. Last night he was telling me about some dream he had and it was funny so I said "Haha well in my dream you proposed. Maybe that's what you were getting the money for." I am going on 21 and he is already 21. I definitely do NOT want to get married right now. I would consider a long engagement okay so if I was proposed to, I'd say yes. I'm thinking around 25 to get married because I want to have children between 25-29. Well in response to my dream he says "You dream the impossible." This kind of bothered me so then I asked him why it was impossible. He views marriage as something society just adopted and it isn't necessary. I asked him if the thought even crossed his mind about marriage or children with me. He said no but that it isn't something he wants with anyone.
Then we started talking about children. I definitely want children, there is no doubt in my mind about that. I wouldn't give up that opportunity. I still have a long way to wait because I want to establish my career first. However, he said he doesn't ever want kids. He says he knows himself and even if he had a stable job, he still wouldn't want them because he wouldn't be a good dad and some people are naturally good at it and others aren't. We kept talking about it and he said well if we are still together when I am 25 and he doesn't want kids still, he understands if we break up because that is a logical thing to break up over.
Is this really happening to me? I mean I want to believe he is just young and once he matures more, he'll feel differently. But what if that isn't the case and he is pretty set in this? How am I supposed to handle things in our relationship now? It's just something that bothers me now. I had four nightmares that night after our talk about breaking up and him not wanting children still. I know I am only 21 but I don't feel like I am getting any younger! Then the most common question, what if we do break up and then he meets another woman and by the time he is in his 30s he wants kids? I just don't know how to handle this situation!
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I love him and we've been through a lot together. I want to spend my life with him and thinking about that not happening is heart breaking. However, there is one issue. Last night he was telling me about some dream he had and it was funny so I said "Haha well in my dream you proposed. Maybe that's what you were getting the money for." I am going on 21 and he is already 21. I definitely do NOT want to get married right now. I would consider a long engagement okay so if I was proposed to, I'd say yes. I'm thinking around 25 to get married because I want to have children between 25-29. Well in response to my dream he says "You dream the impossible." This kind of bothered me so then I asked him why it was impossible. He views marriage as something society just adopted and it isn't necessary. I asked him if the thought even crossed his mind about marriage or children with me. He said no but that it isn't something he wants with anyone.
Then we started talking about children. I definitely want children, there is no doubt in my mind about that. I wouldn't give up that opportunity. I still have a long way to wait because I want to establish my career first. However, he said he doesn't ever want kids. He says he knows himself and even if he had a stable job, he still wouldn't want them because he wouldn't be a good dad and some people are naturally good at it and others aren't. We kept talking about it and he said well if we are still together when I am 25 and he doesn't want kids still, he understands if we break up because that is a logical thing to break up over.
Is this really happening to me? I mean I want to believe he is just young and once he matures more, he'll feel differently. But what if that isn't the case and he is pretty set in this? How am I supposed to handle things in our relationship now? It's just something that bothers me now. I had four nightmares that night after our talk about breaking up and him not wanting children still. I know I am only 21 but I don't feel like I am getting any younger! Then the most common question, what if we do break up and then he meets another woman and by the time he is in his 30s he wants kids? I just don't know how to handle this situation!
). me and H has always been together and we done everything together but now his kids tell him only he is welcome to be with their real family and if he loves his grands he will show up. They tell H they wont accept gifts if I had anything to do with it.I am so hurt by them .Both DIL's told me to my face my D was never welcome in their houses again.I lost it .I told them off and it wasnt nice. Now H kids tell him he should leave me at home and come see them and the grands. Of course the x will always be there. Im sorry I cant deal. I have already turned the other cheek for 7 years in this backstabbing fony family .I dont want my husband to leave me behind. H is my family and his kids have their own family.The grands not seeing their papaw is the parents choice not ours.They are only hurting them.I dont want to make changes in our marriage because of them.I want my H to stand up to them and tell them he WILL NOT be to any family events without me.DIL will be having a baby in december and they told my H he could come see his grand only if his wifey didnt come.I dont think ultatiums is right. H dont get to see his grands now since they are not allowed at our house.Im hurt Im pissed and if my H leaves me behind to make his kids happy then he can stay with them.I am sick of them.What do yall think H should do?
