[Super celeb]

Hi, I am new to this website....ok let's start.....I am married for 10 years with 2 kids......my husband is a nice guy.....but sex life is almost gone.....during the first few months it was great....after 2-3 months we used to have sex only once a month, and then every 2 months.......all the time I wanted to have it, my husband never initiated....i caught him watching porn and masturbating several times and i told him that i did not like it.....I don't think he ever stopped doing that.....when I got pregnant with my first child, the day he found out I was pregnant, the first thing he said was we were not going to have sex during this pregnancy......After that he did not do anything for 3 years, the only time we had sex when I got pregnant with my second child......again it has been 3 years he has not touched me yet.....I have put on about 12 pounds after my kids birth and I have got loose skin on my stomach.....sometimes I think that's what turned my husband off ( old lady's skin).......I have mentioned it to him several times, however it does not effect him...... My co-workers find me so attractive and beautiful, but all in vain.......I really need some advice......why is not he interested?

 

[CanadianGuy]

When you ask him about this what does he say?

 

[JourneyMan0]

He's either gay, or having an affair, or you are way more than 12 pounds overweight, or he's over 75. No normal man can go three years without sex. How can you go three years without sex? I can't go more than two weeks without sex or I start to get desires to make love to the next decent woman who comes along. One month without and we are in marriage counselling.

 

[warlock07]

Sex therapist and let him know that the marriage is on the line. Discuss separation. You cannot go on like this

My co-workers find me so attractive and beautiful,

This is a very dangerous line. Is this co-worker a guy ? This is how most affairs start. Be careful.. very careful

 

[40isthenew20]

My wife weighed under 100 pounds when we met and later got married. She put on some weight during te first pregnancy but was able to lose the majority of it afterwards. But it was a difficult pregnancy, so she was high risk immediately when she became pregnant the second time.

She gained a lot of weight and had a real tough time losing it. She is not under. 100 pounds now, but lost a lot of it. Yes, there is some loose skin because the baby was large.

I have never wavered in my attraction for her, when she was rail thin, pregnant, thin or somewhere in between. But all people are different.

Sure, I enjoyed porn a lot in my life and that did cause me to get through difficult times ( my wife could not have sex during the last 3 months of the first pregnancy). But 3 years is an exorbsnt amount of time.

Perhaps he had personal issues, such as ED, which makes him shy or ashamed.

 

[wiigirl]

He's either gay, or having an affair, or you are way more than 12 pounds overweight, or he's over 75. No normal man can go three years without sex. How can you go three years without sex? I can't go more than two weeks without sex or I start to get desires to make love to the next decent woman who comes along. One month without and we are in marriage counselling.

:iagree:

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[Super celeb]

I talked to him about this several times.....I even asked him if he is a gay....his response was no....even if I am nude in the bed, he won't even touch me or cuddle with me.....he just says he does not feel like having it or he is tired or stressed out..... I used to be size 2 but now I am size 6 .....I don't think it's that bad..... Could be the age issue.... I am 30 and he is 40......I am also thinking about getting divorce as I am still very young..... But I have 2 kids..... Confused very confused
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[Super celeb]

He does not have ED (erectile dysfunction) problem either.....otherwise how would he be able to masturbate.....I think the main reason is he does not find me attractive....in the beginning of our marriage he told me the only thing turns him on is flat stomach....I dont have stomach muscles,it is kind of flat but have loose skin ... He does not have my affair as far as I know......
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[roostr]

Its not the age take my word for that, im 52 and guarantee thats not the issue. Also, in my past, pregnacy actually brought us closer than ever and the sex was awsome. he should have made you feel like you were above all else in this world, especially during that time. I hold my wife on a pedestal and would jump in bed faster than you could blink your eyes if I saw her lying there with nothing on. You are absolutely young enough to start over. You cannot stay with someone simply for the kids if youre not getting any love in return from him because if its that bad it may get worse or no better and you only live once. Putting on weight for any reason is part of life so dont thing that should make a difference to him cuz that just isnt right if it does. Youre a size 6?, I think thats a pretty perfect size in my opinion. I cant go more than 3 days without getting the urge, for him to go that long, coupled with your age, figure, and desire, your husband is nuts......It aint you for sure, you should put a scare into him or bail out.

 

[See_Listen_Love]

I talked to him about this several times.....I even asked him if he is a gay....his response was no....even if I am nude in the bed, he won't even touch me or cuddle with me.....he just says he does not feel like having it or he is tired or stressed out..... I used to be size 2 but now I am size 6 .....I don't think it's that bad..... Could be the age issue.... I am 30 and he is 40......I am also thinking about getting divorce as I am still very young..... But I have 2 kids..... Confused very confused
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I am very sorry for you, but he is gay or the new kind: asexual. The size problem could be in play, but not if you were in the first year already having almost no sex.

What to do? At least to a sex counselor I would say. But let him come out of the closet to you for reasons of honesty.

 

[Caribbean Man]

Your husband has sexual intimacy issues.
He refuses to connect with you sexually.
Porn and masturbation has taken your place.
Stop blaming yourself, even if your stomach was super flat with six pack abs, he would STILL prefer porn.
He lives in the fantasy world created by porn.
You cannot compete with that.

You must decide if you want to continue living in a sexless marriage.
My suggestion is to have marriage counselling and give him an ultimatum.

 

[Woodchuck]

I am a man currently in temporarily sexless marriage, and I feel your pain.

I am having a difficult time grasping the concept of newlyweds having a sexless life.

When we married, my wife weiged 92 lbs and was a size 2. She currently weighs 135 or so, and is a goddess.....After 46 years I still lust after her like a teenager......

We all age, and I am afraid that if a strong physical/sexual bond is not established early on in a relationship, attraction will fade with youth. When a strong sexual bonding takes place, appearance becomes much less important.