This question is mostly for the men but ladies feel free to voice your opinions.
BF and I recently had a talk about how to handle Christmas and spending limits on our kids and the convo turned to spending on each other. He was telling me he doesn't want me spending much on him but in the same breath, when I questioned him, he admitted he had spent more on me for xmas so far than he wanted me to spend on him. I pointed out the double standard and he insisted it wasn't a double standard, it's something else but he couldn't explain it very well. Basically he said it just doesn't make him happy, like he worries about it.
At first I assumed it's because I earn less but he said that's not it. I also earn less than his ex of two years so I asked if this had ever been an issue with her and he said no, not at all. He didn't care what she spent. When asked why he said it's because he cares more about me than he did her. But I care about him too and enjoy surprising him with things that I know he'll really enjoy so what the heck lol? This isn't fair but at the same time he seems to be genuinely bothered by it so I'm honoring his request.
So what is this? He's also been more stubborn lately about not letting me pay for meals when we eat out or random things when we're out shopping so then I start to feel a little uncomfortable. He smiles and tells me to suck it up. Is this his way of being protective of me in some way? Or is this him feeling less manly if he feels his woman is providing to much for him?
Our conversation on this topic continues but I wanted to get some input from the men here and see if this is just my guy or if it's a general guy thing?
BF and I recently had a talk about how to handle Christmas and spending limits on our kids and the convo turned to spending on each other. He was telling me he doesn't want me spending much on him but in the same breath, when I questioned him, he admitted he had spent more on me for xmas so far than he wanted me to spend on him. I pointed out the double standard and he insisted it wasn't a double standard, it's something else but he couldn't explain it very well. Basically he said it just doesn't make him happy, like he worries about it.
At first I assumed it's because I earn less but he said that's not it. I also earn less than his ex of two years so I asked if this had ever been an issue with her and he said no, not at all. He didn't care what she spent. When asked why he said it's because he cares more about me than he did her. But I care about him too and enjoy surprising him with things that I know he'll really enjoy so what the heck lol? This isn't fair but at the same time he seems to be genuinely bothered by it so I'm honoring his request.
So what is this? He's also been more stubborn lately about not letting me pay for meals when we eat out or random things when we're out shopping so then I start to feel a little uncomfortable. He smiles and tells me to suck it up. Is this his way of being protective of me in some way? Or is this him feeling less manly if he feels his woman is providing to much for him?
Our conversation on this topic continues but I wanted to get some input from the men here and see if this is just my guy or if it's a general guy thing?