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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey everyone. How's it going?....... Me? Not so great. I am at a loss of what to do and really need help and advice.

Tonight my WH and I were arguing and this is after a year of R (after I found out he was having sex online for months....he destroyed the PC after I found out, so I have no way of knowing the extent of how far he went. Yes, I did have an STD test and we have not been intimate since.)

Anyway, he went into the bedroom and told me to get out and leave him alone, we argued more and then he got up and said GET OUT and pushed me out.

I was livid after that and told him not to touch me again (I am recovering from a broken humerus 4 months ago) he came into the room I was in and I told him if he put his hands on me again I would call the police.

He did. Then, he just laughed and said GO AHEAD THEY WILL JUST TAKE YOU AWAY with a huge grin. So I called. And they just took him away.

I am lost. I know he will never forgive me when he loses his job. I don't want to go to a women's shelter. I just want a divorce. I really loved him and I know this is probably the end. I worked for a year to try and reconcile and now I'm just afraid.

Thanks for listening. Peace.
 

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Hey everyone. How's it going?....... Me? Not so great. I am at a loss of what to do and really need help and advice.

Tonight my WH and I were arguing and this is after a year of R (after I found out he was having sex online for months....he destroyed the PC after I found out, so I have no way of knowing the extent of how far he went. Yes, I did have an STD test and we have not been intimate since.)

Anyway, he went into the bedroom and told me to get out and leave him alone, we argued more and then he got up and said GET OUT and pushed me out.

I was livid after that and told him not to touch me again (I am recovering from a broken humerus 4 months ago) he came into the room I was in and I told him if he put his hands on me again I would call the police.

He did. Then, he just laughed and said GO AHEAD THEY WILL JUST TAKE YOU AWAY with a huge grin. So I called. And they just took him away.

I am lost. I know he will never forgive me when he loses his job. I don't want to go to a women's shelter. I just want a divorce. I really loved him and I know this is probably the end. I worked for a year to try and reconcile and now I'm just afraid.

Thanks for listening. Peace.
He sounds like quite the piece of work.

You don't need a person like that in your life. You can and will do better.

Have you tried getting him into therapy for his physically violent behavior? Destroying the computer can be lumped in there, aside from him putting his hands on you. A divorce otherwise would be the only option you have.

I'm sorry you're going through this.
 

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You say that he put his hands on you again. Do you mean that he litteraly just put his hands on you or that he did something like pushed you or shoved your or hit you?


How did you break your humerus?

Have you seen an attorney to find out your rights? Now might be the time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks guys, I broke my arm completely in half right before the holidays, following a neighborhood cat. I know, pretty ridiculous.

He pushed me out of the room, he didn't hit me.

I didn't think they would arrest him. I don't think he should lose his job over it. I just wish he would move out. I'm pretty much done trying to reconcile. I need to heal my heart and my body.
 

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Thanks guys, I broke my arm completely in half right before the holidays, following a neighborhood cat. I know, pretty ridiculous.

He pushed me out of the room, he didn't hit me.

I didn't think they would arrest him. I don't think he should lose his job over it. I just wish he would move out. I'm pretty much done trying to reconcile. I need to heal my heart and my body.
Don't worry about his job, that's his problem. Worry about what you need to do in order to heal and move on with your life.

When he pushed you, were you blocking the only exit in the room or something? slapping? Or did he approach you and shove you?

I broke my arm completely in half right before the holidays, following a neighborhood cat. I know, pretty ridiculous.
Something tells me that's not how you completely broke your arm.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Nope, its true, thats how I broke it. Fell from a standing height and BAMM.

I was arguing with him in our bedroom and he did exactly what I said. Came up and pushed me out of the room.

I was not being physical, I was b****ing though, and so was he. It was an argument.
 

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Nope, its true, thats how I broke it. Fell from a standing height and BAMM.

I was arguing with him in our bedroom and he did exactly what I said. Came up and pushed me out of the room.

I was not being physical, I was b****ing though, and so was he. It was an argument.
So another scumbag.

You deserve much better than that piece of ****.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
The thing is, he always goes into what used to be our bedroom, and wants to be left alone. I am tired of it. When he gets mad he gets pretty snippy also.

I just said look, we've been trying to reconcile for a YEAR. If you are unhappy MOVE OUT I am tired of the silent treatment. Its Saturday night and 7 oclock. I am tired of being told I cant be in my own bedroom, If you want to be alone, go take a walk.

And he pushed me out, slammed the door and said I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I was REALLY MAD because I am on a bone stimulator 4 hours a day and I don't want to do anything to hurt my progress. So I yelled at him to never touch me again, blah blah blah or I will call the police

So he comes out and pushed me again and said GO AHEAD, laughing at me.

I think he was pretty surprised when I did it. I know I was surprised that I did it.

I just don't know what happens next? I am just so DONE with his attitude. Fine. Let's get divorced, ok? Why does it have to be like this? But I'm pretty sure his attitude is going to be a whole lot worse when he gets out and comes home.

I just want the best for the both of us. Seriously. And this is not it. I just want to do the right thing. I want him to take this seriously and respect our marriage or move out and file the papers. I am not working right now and he is. He could EASILY move out and has the money to do it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Well I called and just found out his bail is 5,000. Does this mean he cannot get out until Monday? His charges are Harassment and Menacing. His status is Unsentenced.
 

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Should I ask how you know this? lol
I worked for a bail bondsman for a short time collaring guys who skipped bail. I was a combat sports nut back then and thought it was fun.

You meet a lot of really nice people in that trade.

The bondsman's number was posted by the phone at the jail. People without money would call him to post the bond, and your husband can do that too. The bondsmen cost a lot more than a credit card.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I worked for a bail bondsman for a short time collaring guys who skipped bail. I was a combat sports nut back then and thought it was fun.

You meet a lot of really nice people in that trade.

The bondsman's number was posted by the phone at the jail. People without money would call him to post the bond, and your husband can do that too. The bondsmen cost a lot more than a credit card.
There are no bail bondsmen in Oregon.
 

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He'll probably come home. I thought he wouldn't need bail, so he's gonna have to wait till Monday. right? I don't think he'll do anything. But who knows. He's not gonna be in a good mood, that's for sure.
Wiseforit might be able to answer. I've never been arrested and really have no idea. I hope so though, might give him time to cool off. Given his behavior tonight, I'm a little nervous for you.
 
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