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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My divorce was final on July 5th, she remarried Aug 10th. It was nice she moved on but the kids have been thru hell. Her new hubby has 4 childen, 2 are grown, 2 are close to our childrens age, we also had 4 kids.
They now live in a house which isn't mine and I'm not paying for :):):) lol but there are 5 kids in the small house.
Problem #1
His one son who lives w/ my kids is 16, @ first he seemed "normal" but as time prooves, we all have issues. He was arrested and convicted......but this is where the trail goes cold. I know he talked about killing somebody, he has guns. When my boys told me about the guns I asked they be locked up, I never got a reply, I sent it again and still no reply, that was in Aug.
I've known about his arrest for 2 weeks, I just found out he has a probation officer today.
The day he got out of court he told my son "I need to just kill 'em all"
I contacted the girl's therapist and she says it's a legal matter. She also told me to start a email confronting the X about the dangers our kids are in. The boy plays games on X~box, Call of Duty or something where he kills people over and over again.
Isn't this the same kind of kid who walks into his school w/ a loaded gun and kills his friends? I'm worried but I feel like Im yelling in a dream. WHAT DO I DO??
Problem #2
When my kids were little, they were my world. They needed a sled? I hand crafted them one. Summer? I'd play "Shark" w/ them in the pool. School project? I'd hot glue rice in a wood match basket I made....just becouse I loved the time w/ them.
Now?? My 2 girls won't speak/text me @ all.
My boys still talk 2 me but I see/hear the same words/actions. "did ur father tell you to lie?" and there wasn't any lie told. "your father doesn't love you like I do" and yes my son called me in tears asking me if I loved him and it hurt he even had to ask.
I ask to see the boys all the time and I'm told they're busy but they're just sitting home board.....and when they ask, they're told I'm too busy....my lil guy one day said "I just hate when they lie to my face, like I'm some stupid kid"
The worst was when my boys got in the car and the younger one said "wow, I'm just glad to get outta there, whatever you sent Gillian caused all kinds of HELL." I sent her a text that read "hope you feel better, love U!!" My boy went on to tell me Gillian was being yelled @ b/c I sent her a text. He made me feel bad for texting my own daughter so I asked if it would be better if I didn't text her, his answer was brilliant, "it would be better short term but she needs to know you love her."
See the pattern?
History~
Married 20yrs, X cheated, ran off w/ different men, love was never a reason she cheated. After one year of her running around I filed for divorce, she asked me to cancel the divorce so I did but she filed herself 5 weeks later :) lol now that is a control freak. About 5 yrs ago she started telling the kids they couldn't do things, like get a job, drive, get into a college, or win a contest. She kept them out of the Science Fair until I found out and then I made sure they went if they wanted....my oldest went to State. Last year she told my youngest his project wasn't any good and he couldn't go to reginals, he won 3 awards b/c I made sure he got to go.
I encourage the kids to spend as much time w/ mom as they can, I teach them to love, respect, and obey her. I follow the rules becouse they are for the children, she craps on every one she can, she has no respect for them @ all.
Now the majic question, what can I do? I know I can't change her but how do I keep the kids safe? Body, Soul, and Mind?
Mouse
 

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Mouse:

Holy shyt, man, your kids are living with a psycho!

Contact your divorce attorney THIS COMING MONDAY MORNING. Tell him/her EXACTLY what you wrote here...ALL OF IT. Don't leave anything out.

Inquire about Parental Alienation Syndrome (Google it tonight or tomorrow and make yourself more knowledgeable). It is illegal.

ASK your attorney WHAT YOUR LEGAL RIGHTS ARE with regard to getting FULL custody of your children! You've GOT to get them out of there....she/he/that situation is DANGEROUS, as you well know!

1. Get knowlegeable NOW.
2. MOVE on it this MONDAY.
3. Keep coming here for support if you need it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I know all about PAS, a few mo ago I was writing to a woman from HS when she asked about my kids, I told her about the damage to the kids from the X. She informed me about PAS and gave me a contact to the woman who is head of a support group.....I wrote to her but never got a responce.
My lawyer got fired, he kept telling me custody would cost $80,000, they were better off w/ her. I finished the divorce w/ him but am now in the market w/ a new one.
I sent the X a email w/ my concerns, I just got the reply, she calls it a pack of lies, she calls me a liar 7 times and has told me she'll take me to court and pull the therapist records for court. I called the therapist and asked what is in the records that I should fear.....if anything. She's going to call me back in the morning but has no idea what that means.....
After I left a message w/ the therapist, it hit me, she's lying, she's covering up for her new husband.
 

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If the son makes threats like "I'm going to kill them all" that makes him a danger to others and he can be 5150 after a 5150 they can extend it to a 14 day hold and then he can not own a weapon of any kind for 5 years. I'm not sure what a kid his age owns weapons for I'd be questioning your wife's new husband seeking custody of your children. The threat he is making is a terrorist threat and is illegal. Today these threats are taken seriously by the police (in most counties) I would report it immediately and have your children tell them verbatim what he has said. That along with a prior arrest should be enough to at least have the guns removed from the house. I would also contact social services and petition to have your children removed from the home and moved in with you or have that child removed from the home and placed out of the home so the other children are safe. (preferably have yours with you)
 

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You need LEGAL intervention IMMEDIATELY.

Call the police (about the terrorist threats) and/or hire an attorney on Monday...perhaps a domestic abuse hotline could advise you on attorneys.

If you know about PAS, then you know that it is illegal. You can look into the support group AFTER you have gotten some legal remedy for your children. The support group isn't going to be able to help you get your kids out of that house...the legal system will.

Of course you ex-w is covering for her new H. She (1) doesn't want to admit she left you for a LOSER like this and (2) may actually fear H and/or his son.
 

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The danger to others is a matter of a call to the police or to your county mental health system and they will call the police.... I should have added that to the post, sorry about that.
I work for our county mental health system.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
It was under the advice of the therapist(used to be my girl's therapist) I sent her this email, she calls me a liar and in the end tells me if I do this again she'll take me to court w/ all the therapist's notes. I did talk to the therapist on my way to church, she laughed and said there wasn't anything I had to fear from her notes.......
In her reply she also discredits my sons, says they don't know what their talking about.
This is just a big pile of poopie.....I feel like I'm living back when she was cheating and everything out of her mouth was a lie....even when she'd go shopping for hrs she'd come home empty handed and nothing for dinner.
So do I call and say my son said? Isn't that hear say? How do I know this will be ok for the kids? How do I keep them safe?
Mouse
 

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Do not contact your X it will serve you no purpose, even at the very least she would aggree with what you are saying, the chances of her following through are slime (lib service).

She is a known liar, contacting her will get you no were. But having a lawyer contacting her will care the wieght of the severity of your concerns.

CPS is also another options. Most states have strict gun laws and if it found that the guns are not locked up then a law may have been committed.

In CA guns must be locked up when stored.......Sure you may not have any control over how your wife parents, or even how they store there guns, but if state law is being broken then you sure can make her life hell for it. In fact if the guns aren't stored properly they may even take the guns.

So in short while lawyering up, call CPS about the guns.
 

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If you call the police and say your son told you that the now stepbrother said that he was going to "kill everyone" AND he has the means to do so by having possession of firearms they have to go to the home and check it out. If they find nothing you lose nothing. If they find something you have potentially saved lives. Your ex may be angry with you but so what it sounds like she already is.
Your therapist is a mandated reporter if your son told her she is mandated to report it. As is a teacher any medical staff, law enforcement etc.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I acted.
1st I contacted the county, here in IN we're supposed to pay child support thru them, this was my 3rd attempt to do so and it never goes thru. Over the weekend I found out if you don't go thru the county it doesn't count as support but is a gift, so you'd might as well not pay.... I am not behind, I have been a week ahead but it has always been by check. I called to find out why and it came up as our SS#'S are switched~ she owes me!! LOL
2nd~ I called a lawyer. I told her about the guns, the step child and asked what actions could be taken. She just told me I should seek custody, call the police.
3rd~ I called the police, I just said I had a question but when I explained the problem, they sent a car over. I explained to the officer everything you know ( I was waiting for my son to call me to verify the guns were still there). When I finished he asked me what I wanted him to do....so I asked "what can you do?" He responded~
a) I can go over there and talk to the parents.
b) I can ask to see where the guns are and then explain to them how they should be stored.
c) I can't just search the house.
d) I can't just take the guns.
My son calls back, the guns are gone. So I tell the officer it'd just start a huge fight if he went over there. The officer did write a report, I gave him all the names so it could be on file.
:(
Mouse
 

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You did great. Good job, you know the guns are gone and your children are safer. You have also started a paper trail to show that this is not a safe environment for them this all goes in your favor when it comes time to go to court. I hate it when kids get caught in court battles and custody suites. I've always said kids should always stay in the same home and the parents should have to go back and forth, the kids aren't the people who made the choice to bail on the family but we don't live in an ideal world.

Good luck to you. I'm proud of you for taking action.
 

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Next step: Get an attorney and file for full custody of your children because of:

(1) Unsafe environment physically (guns and threatened violence)
(2) Parental Alienation Syndrome
 
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