[itzachicken]

Yesterday I returned to work after the birth of our 2nd child. I made the day so easy for him, had dinner going in the crock pot house was clean and laundry is assembled to be put away in the bedroom. Should have been a cakewalk for him but I suppose he felt overwhelmed. This morning I got a lecture from him about all the reasons why he cannot get off his work one hour early 2 days a week to help take care of our kids. I work part-time and him full time he expressed how he wants me to stop working completely and stay home with the kids however he does not make enough money for us to do that. Wait let me rephrase that he does not give me enough money for us to do that. We are in the lower income bracket and qualify for alternative payment programs but that is a 6 month wait. Normally he watches them Monday from 1 to 630 and our neighbor covers from 2 to 4 on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. My sister watches them from 2 to 630 Thursday and Friday. He works Tuesday through Saturday 8-430. Me Mondays through Friday 2-60.

It frustrates me beyond belief he cannot take 2 friggin hours out of his week. I strongly believe he is feeding me a bunch of bull**** so he can have a couple of hours to himself every evening. I cannot ask my parents to help since they are older and incapable since my mother had a stroke. His mother lives here in town and visits our kids maybe 1x every 2 or 3 months, and has done some really stupid crap with the kids in the past (drive across town using the booster from the table with a 16 mo old). My sister cannot cover the Tuesday/Wednesday slot. What the hell is a person to do?

 

[Lon]

So he works full time barely able to make much money, and you are demanding that he work less thsn full time and earn less (presuming his workplace even allows for him to just take time away?) Maybe he is just feeling too much pressure knowing that he screws everything up in your view and believes his better role is to not miss work and atleast bring home as much as he can from his job. It sounds like he feels not very financially comfortable and not getting, or being able to trust, the financial support from you?

 

[Mavash.]

First off BREATHE....you've just had a baby, you're emotional and you're stressed. Now I don't know your husband. Is he the type to BS you?

I went through this both times when I had babies while working. We fought and it's tough. Ours however was just miscommunication. He felt like a failure. I felt like having a nervous breakdown. And together we accomplished nothing.

 

[Hicks]

What do you mean he makes a certain amount of money but does not give you enough?

Make a budget based on his income, and then decide togehter if you work vs stay home.

 

[I'mInLoveWithMyHubby]

My husband would lose his job if he took off an hour early for work two days a week. I would of too while I was working. I don't know of any work places that are flexible like this.

I would look for another job or alternative daycare, maybe a neighbor or daycare close by that fits your hours of need.

I know how hard it is to get into a schedule. Raising little ones is very exhausting. I don't know your financial situation, but I didn't think we could of made it after I quit my job, but we did. My husband picked up 2 extra part time jobs. The extra jobs was completely his idea and he's been holding onto them for the last 8 years. Now I'm unable to work and we are always finding ways to save money. My husband did catch a break at work, but his hours are longer with the full time job. He puts in at least 10 hour days at minimum. There are deadlines, so he doesn't have a choice. Plus he's salary, so he does not get paid these extra hours. I'm looking for ways to earn money in our home. I have a few things to sell on ebay and I might hatch and sell chicks this spring. There's a big demand for them around here and I have the equipment.

Good luck. I really hope you find something that works.

 

[itzachicken]

He is one to completely BS me last year we went through the same thing he wouldn't pick up the older one up from his moms, my sisters, or his aunts. He would go gold panning or fishing everyday after work. His boss has told him do what he has to do, his job is maintenance for the local campgrounds; this time of year it is prep for next season an cleanup. He only looses $20/week from coming home early before taxes. When I say he doesn't give me enough I mean he keeps roughly 30% of his check and expects me to pay all household expenses with what is left which is 1200. He blew through 170 in just the last week and is out of gas in his car. He took Sunday off to help his sister trim pot and then told me I was going to get 100 less from him on his next paycheck. I know it works out but seriously don't need the stress I'm the only married single mom I know. He refuses to participate in our relationship physically and emotionally and doesn't seem like he even wants to co-parent.