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When do you know if your child is going through a phase or needs help?

My son is turning 13 this year. He is a really good kid. Tries hard to do his best and active in sports, maritial arts, etc..

The issue is that he is overly forgetful. He leaves the house for school 30 minutes after I leave for work. I tell him to lock the front door and in 30 minutes he will forget. This happens ALL the time. I tell him to go upstairs to wash clothes and by the time he gets upstairs he forgets and starts doing something else. These are examples, he forgets more than this everyday.

I've had him tested and it is not an intellectual problem. He makes good grades in school and his only down fall is that he will forget to turn in his assignments and get a low grade. My family and friends say "that's a typical boy".

But I see his frustration and he is really hard on himself. I've made an appointment to have him speak with a child psychologist. Am I being overly worried? Or should I listen to family and let him grow out of it?
 

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When do you know if your child is going through a phase or needs help?

My son is turning 13 this year. He is a really good kid. Tries hard to do his best and active in sports, maritial arts, etc..

The issue is that he is overly forgetful. He leaves the house for school 30 minutes after I leave for work. I tell him to lock the front door and in 30 minutes he will forget. This happens ALL the time. I tell him to go upstairs to wash clothes and by the time he gets upstairs he forgets and starts doing something else. These are examples, he forgets more than this everyday.

I've had him tested and it is not an intellectual problem. He makes good grades in school and his only down fall is that he will forget to turn in his assignments and get a low grade. My family and friends say "that's a typical boy".

But I see his frustration and he is really hard on himself. I've made an appointment to have him speak with a child psychologist. Am I being overly worried? Or should I listen to family and let him grow out of it?
What about an occupational therapist? Just wondering as my son is working on rebuilding short-term memory skills after a traumatic brain injury and the OC I giving him memory boosting trick for those very issues. Just curious - has your son ever had a concussion?
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Thank you Golfergirl for your response. I don't know the various kinds of therapists but I will look into it. It never occured to me that he may have had a concussion in the past. He plays football so this is a possibility.
 

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A child psychologist, play/child therapist (credentials LPC, LMFT), or even as lic. Clinical social worker (lcsw) are all appropriate. An occupational therapist is not the right fit IMO for your situation.
 

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Lmft stands for lic. Marriage and family therapist
 

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Another other things going on with him besides forgetfulness? Is he getting enough sleep?
 

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8 hours? What time does he wake up?
 

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Really important that breakfast consists of no sugar whatsoever. No white bread Etc. Dr. Oz has a great recipe....chia muffins..Chia Muffins | The Dr. Oz Show
Just dont tell your son whats in them! They are sweet from the sweet pot. Puree (u can buy it in the can) agave i believe is really low on the glycemic index meaning it doesnt spike and crash like reg sugar does. And try blueberries instead of cranberries. Blueberries help boost memory.
 

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I make a batch of these on sundays and they are just super easy to grab and heat up and go. I use coconut palm Syrup (order it online....vitacost has it) instead of agave....i thinks its even lower on the GI than agave.
 

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It could be that he is 13, and his hormones are going bazerk! When I was 13 I felt like a deer in rut. All I thought about from sun up to sun down was SEX!

Also, any chance he might be smoking pot? I know most parents don't even want to consider it but it is very very possible.
 

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My daughter is a straight A student, certainly no developmental/behavioural problems
And is totally vague and forgetful about the most mundane stuff - she gets it from me, my dad is the same...I can remember a conversation I had with you 10 years ago and my boss's car number plate three cars back but I'll forget something you asked me to do from half an hour ago. I've had to ruthlessly train myself to write everything down because my job consists of nothing but deadlines.
The brain is a funny thing - I doubt there is anything wrong with him but he'll have to recognise that trait within himself and how best to manage it, although it's not a natural thing for a 13 year old boy to do...
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It is very normal. I have 3 boys, now in their 20s & they are still like that. The 20yo still lives at home, very smart, started his own business that is becoming very successful, but still forgets to do things if he does not do them straight away. My 15yo daughter gets caught up in what she is doing & forgets to do things as well. Same with my hubby.
I even write job lists on the white board on the fridge & they will still forget.
On the other hand, my 18yo daughter is like me, we can keep lists in our heads & mentally check items off as they are done. It is just the way we are.
 

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Glad to see this thread. My D is about to turn 13, and she is like your son-excellent grades, dance classes, has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, plays a mean viola...

...but she is the classic "forget your head if it wasn't screwed on" type.

She's been doing better, but now, at her age (puberty, hormones, etc.) she always seems fatigued, and she is definitely NOT a "morning person". Perhaps, as mm1980 said, we should cut out the sugary stuff in the morning.
 

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When do you know if your child is going through a phase or needs help?

My son is turning 13 this year. He is a really good kid. Tries hard to do his best and active in sports, maritial arts, etc..

The issue is that he is overly forgetful. He leaves the house for school 30 minutes after I leave for work. I tell him to lock the front door and in 30 minutes he will forget. This happens ALL the time. I tell him to go upstairs to wash clothes and by the time he gets upstairs he forgets and starts doing something else. These are examples, he forgets more than this everyday.

I've had him tested and it is not an intellectual problem. He makes good grades in school and his only down fall is that he will forget to turn in his assignments and get a low grade. My family and friends say "that's a typical boy".

But I see his frustration and he is really hard on himself. I've made an appointment to have him speak with a child psychologist. Am I being overly worried? Or should I listen to family and let him grow out of it?
I have a kid like that only he has always been like that and I am beginning to think he has allergies that affect his brain or a neurotransmitter problem. He is going to be seen at a hospital that thankfully is world-renowned in psychiatry. He had a course of steroids a couple weeks ago for an allergic reaction and he was creepily normal the entire week. He gets tested for allergies later on this month. I would rather deal with brain issues caused by swelling in the sinuses in the skull than with psych issues. Either way I think there are Rx that can deal with short term memory issues and that these can also be exacerbated by stress, and I am sure you are aware of how confusing the world can be for a 13 year old boy. You are lucky you can even leave your kid on his own to get to school. There is no way my kid could get himself out the door with what he needed. We were just talking about it today. Even he himself is worried that he will not be able to gain these skills in the next 6 years :-o So he is into going for the eval and to get help. It helps that I had a brain injury and also had short term memory issues and got treatment. He has someone to model after in terms of being mature about seeking help, and I have more empathy for what he deal with which trust me, if your kid is generally well-behaved is not willful at all and probably worries him as much as it does you. A checklist is helpful. I haven't gone there because I have my mind set on him developing the skills naturally and to be flexible, but honestly, I think a checklist that begins with check the weather and then has a clothing chart to match the weather, etc. might be in line. It just totally s*cks to go there because it is to admit that there is a Big Issue That Needs to be Evaluated and Treated In the Next 6 Years Before He Becomes an Adult and Has to Deal with the World On His Own.

I hear you. See if you can talk to him and get him on board before you go for an eval. At that age, they really need to be into doing it for themselves, even if it is to seek help. It will probably come as a relief to him.

Oh, my son has a thyroid problem too. He has Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. A malfunctioning thyroid can make a kid foggy brained and fatigued. It is very easy to check thyroid level and the test is never a false positive or a false negative, it is always spot on.
 
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