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EA's count imo...
My SO has had a few, and for a couple of them I got the impression the only reason it didnt escalate was because she wasnt in front of him to take the ****.
But after a bit of reflection and reading here I've learned that if she needs to hide it, then its cheating in one form or another. Even if she has no intentions of sleeping with him it still robs the marriage of emotional connection and vulnerability by talking her feelings out with another man.
 

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EA's are just as damaging as PA's. Maybe more so. An EA that morphs into a PA is the most damaging. If it was just sex, it's a lot easier to repair.
Not always. 'Just sex' is the deal breaker for many people. Even if their WS has only a ONS.
 

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Cheating of any kind is bad news. I think that an EA with sexually explicit exchanges between married spouse and affair partner is definitely grounds for posting on cheaterville.
 
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I'd probably have felt a lot less hurt if my stbxh was only in a PA and no I love you's had been exchanged, but some people find ONSs more abhorrent. In my opinion, the betrayal of a LTA cuts deeper.
 

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I find the emotional cheating and the emotional investment of an EA to be more damaging than the PA. Maybe this is just me, in my particular case. My wife was a virgin and young when we married. I was not and had a pretty typical University and High School dating experience. I can understand after 20 years of marriage, a little curiosity. I don't agree or condone cheating, but I can understand the curiosity and what was going on in my wife's head. It's like a delayed adolescence.

It's the emotional investment that bugs me. Sharing intimacies that should be reserved for your husband/spouse. Talking about MY marriage with a virtual stranger. Sharing secrets. Sharing sex stories. Then lying about it. THAT is what bothers me.
 

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EA's are just as damaging as PA's. Maybe more so. An EA that morphs into a PA is the most damaging. If it was just sex, it's a lot easier to repair.
STDs and unintended pregnancies are pretty damaging.

Me personally, I would have worked with my fiancé through an emotional affair, but sex? F*ck that. And that's how I became single again.

They say its different for women, but I don't buy that at all.
 
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